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Most people just buy a lamp

Yesterday's email correspondence between me and Chris:

From: Beth
To: Chris

Good morning - any chance you have my library card?

- - - - -

From: Chris
To: Beth

There's a very good chance...even a certainty.

- - - - -

From: Beth
To: Chris

You library card stealer!

Were you thinking desk lamp or floor lamp for the office?

- - - - -

From: Chris
To: Beth

Desk. With dimming capability ;-)

- - - - -

From: Beth
To: Chris

Are you sure you don't want to reconsider? I think the floor lamp
does a better job of lighting the room, since we only have one light.
(Although I suppose there is no law preventing the application of both
a floor and desk lamp.) (Is there? I would hate to go to prison for
inappropriate lamping.) (What do you get for that? 8 to 12?) (Maybe
they would plea bargain me down to 5 if I did another 3 years
community service speaking to school children about the dangers of
over-lampage.) (Is this going to be one of those times where I feel I
am being devastatingly clever and you are giving me that look and
waiting for me to be done?) (Mia says hi.)

- - - - -

From: Chris
To: Beth

Over- or inadequate lampification would be unfortunate. I originally went for the desk option as it can typically be dimmed however, upon further consideration, a floor lamp has many of the same capabilities. In short, either would work. The current lighting situation concerns me in that the room is either

a) too bright making me feel as though I'm working on the computer on the surface of the sun (although slightly cooler) or

b) dark, and I feel incredibly lonely and scared.

Any lighting solution bridging the gap between those two luminous extremes would be a plesant alternative.

While I didn't find any federal legislation discussing lighting and the legality of the strengths or weaknesses of such lighting, I did manage to stumble upon an obscure Virginia statute from the 1800s which says, in part -

Inadequacy of lighting in any domicile and/or place of business shall be adequate, commensurate with the lighting needs of the primary occupants. Whosoever violates this ordinance shall be flogged mightily and fined two fertile sows.

So, unless you're ready to cough up a couple pigs, I think we better get the right lighting in place.

(Tell Mia hi)

- - - - -

From: Beth
To: Chris


- - - - -

From: Chris
To: Beth


Comments (37)

You're weird.

What happens if you don't have any fertile sows on hand? Do they just double the flogging?

"Is this going to be one of those times where I feel I am being devastatingly clever and you are giving me that look and waiting for me to be done?"

Wow, that's eerily similar to, oh, every conversation I have with my boyfriend.

(Hi, by the way. I never delurked during Delurking Week because I am evil. My name is Ryan and I am addicted to chubby baby faces, so I come here for my fix (and because I like your writing, of course.))


Gosh and you got dibs too!

You're my wednesday lampage hero.

ditto weird, but in a cute way...

I loved it! My husband & I have strange conversations like that & at the end both agree that we're both weird.

Desk lamp, lest Mia use the floor lamp pole as a microphone stand, pole dancing trainer, or otherwise pull it over upon herself. Just a thought...

And, yes, you guys are weird...charmingly so!


That was f$%#ing great!!!

Too funny. I have those moments where I feel I'm being very clever and am all proud of myself and my hubby gives me that look too. I can SO relate. heehee.

I can never OutClever the husband. This pisses me off greatly.

Brilliant (and I mean that in every sense of the word)


Oh you two are just so silly. Stop it with the emailing and get back to Mia/work! ;-)

Love the fact that you guys call dibs on the subject to blog. I on the other hand have to check with Brandon to see if it's okay for that conversation we just had to be posted. Self conscious that one is. :)

My fave part is the "dibs".. that is def. something only a blogging couple does. HA!

Roflmao!!! Good one to call "dibs" on!

Now see, you wouldn't think you were so weird if I kept (and posted) any of the email between me and my husband. Ok well maybe you would, but you would also think that I (we) was weird too. :)

i get emails like "it's going later than i thought", or "we're still here, i haven't left yet". fabulous.

You guys are so silly.

Wonderfully weird. And "Is this going to be one of those times where I feel I am being devastatingly clever and you are giving me that look and waiting for me to be done?" is SOOO me too. I'm a goof, and I ramble. It's great.

Wow, library cards?

We're not responsible enough for them. Our library has us hanging on the Most Wanted wall of shame. "Wanted: JustLinda. She borrowed The Atkins New Diet Revolution back in '98 and hasn't returned it yet."

That was great, you "dibbed" it from right underneath him. Did he see it coming? Probably, hehe.

i am so slow, but i shall ask for all the other slow folks out there..."dibs" on what?! the new lampage?! HELP! (toldja i was slow.)

dh and I have these too.
I love them - it is like sex without parts.

Man...I wish I was THAT entertaining! I am BORING!

Wow...much more entertaining than the emails exchanged between my girlfriend and myself! They go something like:

Her: My office mate is driving me up the wall today.

Me: We just learned about murder today in Crim. Don't do it. Off to read for 632 hours.

Oh my god, that's hilarious! And yes, only a blogger couple would call dibs. The e-mails I get from Mein Hublein tend to be of the "Sweetums don't forget to deposit those cheques" variety. Classic.

(RazDreams: she called "dibs" on posting about this e-mail exchange.) :)

If ever there were two people exactly perfect for each other, it's you two. Yes, you're weird. Very weird. But "weird", for me, is a compliment. Weird is unboring. I was even passably amused by Chris' "hookers" entry.

I really quite liked how you invited him to be all "devastatingly clever", and then whipped out the dibs and cut him back down.

Out of curiosity, what is the approximate dibs ratio? Is it around 1:1, or does one of you tend to get more dibs than the other? I am actually seriously curious about this now, not just the joking kind of curious I was at the start of this paragraph.

I so needed this laugh this morning... :)

awww. i love the quirky that is the two of you. emails between the boy and i are usually much, much, much less interesting. or cute.

*sigh* - i'm having relationship email envy. ;)

(ps. hi mia!)

hehehehe that was a great chuckle! I needed that so much you guys! :)

Sounds like a classic IM conversation. You should have inserted some smileys. LOL We do that here quite often.

I'd say you need to ditch the fertile sows before you get a new lamp. They can get frenzied and bonk the desk or hit the floor lamp or whatever you end up getting.

Hey, where's MY library card?

When my Sweet Hunk O'Love gives me that look, I say 'I know, I know. I'm weird. But cute too, right?'.

He will inevitably agree. For one thing I am darned cute. For another thing, he no likee sleepee on the couchee.

That was funny, my husband and I are the same way! Wit is why we fell in love!

I can't believe you two are as hilarious and adorable when e-mailing with each other as you are when writing posts for us all. It's really not right to be so cute and funny. You know that, right? Mia doesn't stand a chance of being remotely boring or hideous. Look at what you've done to that kid!

I LOVE you guys!!

Dare I introduce another variable and suggest a hanging lamp? This prevents both the problems that Jaycie brought up, with the floor lamp, and the issues I've had with my desk lamp (fascinating shiny object with switches and a cord to yank within reach of little fingers).

haha! dibs, lol.

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