Yesterday's email correspondence between me and Chris:
From: Beth
To: Chris
Good morning - any chance you have my library card?
From: Chris
To: Beth
There's a very good chance...even a certainty.
From: Beth
To: Chris
You library card stealer!
Were you thinking desk lamp or floor lamp for the office?
From: Chris
To: Beth
Desk. With dimming capability ;-)
From: Beth
To: Chris
Are you sure you don't want to reconsider? I think the floor lamp
does a better job of lighting the room, since we only have one light.
(Although I suppose there is no law preventing the application of both
a floor and desk lamp.) (Is there? I would hate to go to prison for
inappropriate lamping.) (What do you get for that? 8 to 12?) (Maybe
they would plea bargain me down to 5 if I did another 3 years
community service speaking to school children about the dangers of
over-lampage.) (Is this going to be one of those times where I feel I
am being devastatingly clever and you are giving me that look and
waiting for me to be done?) (Mia says hi.)
From: Chris
To: Beth
Over- or inadequate lampification would be unfortunate. I originally went for the desk option as it can typically be dimmed however, upon further consideration, a floor lamp has many of the same capabilities. In short, either would work. The current lighting situation concerns me in that the room is either
a) too bright making me feel as though I'm working on the computer on the surface of the sun (although slightly cooler) or
b) dark, and I feel incredibly lonely and scared.
Any lighting solution bridging the gap between those two luminous extremes would be a plesant alternative.
While I didn't find any federal legislation discussing lighting and the legality of the strengths or weaknesses of such lighting, I did manage to stumble upon an obscure Virginia statute from the 1800s which says, in part -
Inadequacy of lighting in any domicile and/or place of business shall be adequate, commensurate with the lighting needs of the primary occupants. Whosoever violates this ordinance shall be flogged mightily and fined two fertile sows.
So, unless you're ready to cough up a couple pigs, I think we better get the right lighting in place.
(Tell Mia hi)
From: Beth
To: Chris
dibs
From: Chris
To: Beth
crap
Comments (37)
You're weird.
Posted by ben | January 25, 2006 4:24 PM
What happens if you don't have any fertile sows on hand? Do they just double the flogging?
Posted by Dawn | January 25, 2006 4:39 PM
"Is this going to be one of those times where I feel I am being devastatingly clever and you are giving me that look and waiting for me to be done?"
Wow, that's eerily similar to, oh, every conversation I have with my boyfriend.
(Hi, by the way. I never delurked during Delurking Week because I am evil. My name is Ryan and I am addicted to chubby baby faces, so I come here for my fix (and because I like your writing, of course.))
Posted by Ryan | January 25, 2006 4:46 PM
exactly!
Gosh and you got dibs too!
You're my wednesday lampage hero.
Posted by the speckledpup | January 25, 2006 4:52 PM
ditto weird, but in a cute way...
Posted by linda | January 25, 2006 4:53 PM
I loved it! My husband & I have strange conversations like that & at the end both agree that we're both weird.
Posted by MelissaS | January 25, 2006 4:55 PM
Desk lamp, lest Mia use the floor lamp pole as a microphone stand, pole dancing trainer, or otherwise pull it over upon herself. Just a thought...
And, yes, you guys are weird...charmingly so!
Posted by Jaycie | January 25, 2006 5:01 PM
Wow.
That was f$%#ing great!!!
Posted by shannon | January 25, 2006 5:09 PM
Too funny. I have those moments where I feel I'm being very clever and am all proud of myself and my hubby gives me that look too. I can SO relate. heehee.
Posted by Lisa B | January 25, 2006 5:14 PM
I can never OutClever the husband. This pisses me off greatly.
Posted by JuJuBee | January 25, 2006 5:24 PM
Brilliant (and I mean that in every sense of the word)
Posted by Elaine | January 25, 2006 5:28 PM
LOL
Oh you two are just so silly. Stop it with the emailing and get back to Mia/work! ;-)
Love the fact that you guys call dibs on the subject to blog. I on the other hand have to check with Brandon to see if it's okay for that conversation we just had to be posted. Self conscious that one is. :)
Posted by Oakley | January 25, 2006 5:43 PM
My fave part is the "dibs".. that is def. something only a blogging couple does. HA!
Posted by HipMamab | January 25, 2006 6:18 PM
Roflmao!!! Good one to call "dibs" on!
Posted by ::c:: | January 25, 2006 6:29 PM
Now see, you wouldn't think you were so weird if I kept (and posted) any of the email between me and my husband. Ok well maybe you would, but you would also think that I (we) was weird too. :)
Posted by Kate | January 25, 2006 6:52 PM
i get emails like "it's going later than i thought", or "we're still here, i haven't left yet". fabulous.
Posted by Sarcomical | January 25, 2006 7:23 PM
You guys are so silly.
Posted by Emily | January 25, 2006 8:09 PM
Wonderfully weird. And "Is this going to be one of those times where I feel I am being devastatingly clever and you are giving me that look and waiting for me to be done?" is SOOO me too. I'm a goof, and I ramble. It's great.
Posted by Heather | January 25, 2006 8:32 PM
Wow, library cards?
We're not responsible enough for them. Our library has us hanging on the Most Wanted wall of shame. "Wanted: JustLinda. She borrowed The Atkins New Diet Revolution back in '98 and hasn't returned it yet."
Posted by JustLinda | January 25, 2006 8:52 PM
That was great, you "dibbed" it from right underneath him. Did he see it coming? Probably, hehe.
Posted by Rochelle | January 25, 2006 9:31 PM
i am so slow, but i shall ask for all the other slow folks out there..."dibs" on what?! the new lampage?! HELP! (toldja i was slow.)
Posted by RazDreams | January 25, 2006 9:35 PM
dh and I have these too.
Really.
I love them - it is like sex without parts.
Posted by sanders5 | January 25, 2006 11:00 PM
Man...I wish I was THAT entertaining! I am BORING!
Posted by gypsy | January 25, 2006 11:38 PM
Wow...much more entertaining than the emails exchanged between my girlfriend and myself! They go something like:
Her: My office mate is driving me up the wall today.
Me: We just learned about murder today in Crim. Don't do it. Off to read for 632 hours.
Posted by smartjuice | January 26, 2006 12:36 AM
Oh my god, that's hilarious! And yes, only a blogger couple would call dibs. The e-mails I get from Mein Hublein tend to be of the "Sweetums don't forget to deposit those cheques" variety. Classic.
(RazDreams: she called "dibs" on posting about this e-mail exchange.) :)
Posted by Kristina | January 26, 2006 1:07 AM
If ever there were two people exactly perfect for each other, it's you two. Yes, you're weird. Very weird. But "weird", for me, is a compliment. Weird is unboring. I was even passably amused by Chris' "hookers" entry.
I really quite liked how you invited him to be all "devastatingly clever", and then whipped out the dibs and cut him back down.
Out of curiosity, what is the approximate dibs ratio? Is it around 1:1, or does one of you tend to get more dibs than the other? I am actually seriously curious about this now, not just the joking kind of curious I was at the start of this paragraph.
Posted by Gavin | January 26, 2006 3:41 AM
I so needed this laugh this morning... :)
Posted by Dana | January 26, 2006 8:08 AM
awww. i love the quirky that is the two of you. emails between the boy and i are usually much, much, much less interesting. or cute.
*sigh* - i'm having relationship email envy. ;)
(ps. hi mia!)
Posted by suze | January 26, 2006 8:45 AM
hehehehe that was a great chuckle! I needed that so much you guys! :)
Posted by Just Me1issa | January 26, 2006 12:44 PM
Sounds like a classic IM conversation. You should have inserted some smileys. LOL We do that here quite often.
Posted by Sabrina | January 26, 2006 1:11 PM
I'd say you need to ditch the fertile sows before you get a new lamp. They can get frenzied and bonk the desk or hit the floor lamp or whatever you end up getting.
Hey, where's MY library card?
Posted by Texas T-bone | January 26, 2006 5:09 PM
When my Sweet Hunk O'Love gives me that look, I say 'I know, I know. I'm weird. But cute too, right?'.
He will inevitably agree. For one thing I am darned cute. For another thing, he no likee sleepee on the couchee.
Posted by Contrary | January 26, 2006 8:46 PM
That was funny, my husband and I are the same way! Wit is why we fell in love!
Posted by Shannon | January 26, 2006 11:24 PM
I can't believe you two are as hilarious and adorable when e-mailing with each other as you are when writing posts for us all. It's really not right to be so cute and funny. You know that, right? Mia doesn't stand a chance of being remotely boring or hideous. Look at what you've done to that kid!
Posted by DeAnn | January 27, 2006 1:38 AM
I LOVE you guys!!
Posted by Brenda | January 27, 2006 10:21 AM
Dare I introduce another variable and suggest a hanging lamp? This prevents both the problems that Jaycie brought up, with the floor lamp, and the issues I've had with my desk lamp (fascinating shiny object with switches and a cord to yank within reach of little fingers).
Posted by Kate | January 27, 2006 12:17 PM
haha! dibs, lol.
Posted by lizabetty | January 27, 2006 5:06 PM