so the fish said...
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Things that are annoying me:

- That I am stupid. To everyone who told me my site looked fine to them in IE, of course it did. The problem had nothing to do with the browser, I just happened to be in IE when I saw the problem. Don't worry, I am putting myself in time out for being a moron.

- The story I heard on the radio yesterday where they kept saying Internet Service Provider when they meant Internet Services Provider. More than 24 hours later I am still stewing. I worked for an Internet Service Provider for 7 years and yes, I am a loser to care, but since I know the difference I was really confused.

- (This is not something that is annoying me, but now that I have quit; if anybody was wondering, I was in telecom. And now you know.)

- Baby gates that you can open with one hand. Lovely thought, but since I usually have 20 pounds of squirming, teething baby in one arm and 20 pounds of dirty laundry in the other arm the whole "open with one hand" thing doesn't do me much good. I need a gate that opens with magic words - possibly "move, fucker."

- Did I mention that she's teething again? Sweet Jeebus, enough with the teething already.

- The $40 vacuum cleaner that I bought to keep upstairs since now that Mia is rolling all over the place I am vacuuming at least every day works much better than the $300 vacuum cleaner that I was trying to avoid lugging up the stairs. Anybody wanna buy a vacuum?

- Random people touching my baby, and that they always go straight for her hands which then go straight into her mouth. People, I make my own mother wash her hands before she touches Mia and I am not going to deal with a sick infant because you can't keep your germy mitts to yourselves. I've started smacking hands; I feel it is the only way some of you will learn.

- Mia refuses to let me take a picture of her freaking adorable bottom teeth. Every time I get close enough, she tries to eat the camera. Anybody wanna see a very dark picture of her tongue?

Comments (34)

There's a hands free gate, really! It has a pedal you step on and it springs open like magic. We got ours at Toys R Us a few years ago, but I think it was First Years brand. Maybe. Anyway, it's fine until the kid learns to plop down on the pedal and look! it swings open like magic! (It was worth it for us for the 6 months until we got to that point, though)

um yes, we like tongue pix

and I only think you're kidding about slapping hands. go ahead. people are so rude.
Like touching a pregnant lady's belly...when they don't know her, or even if they
Do I touch your package, just because it looks nice in your jeans...nope.

Slap away! I would too.

Some lady tried to eat Anya's head at the store the other day and I almost kicked her. I don't know you, get your lips off my baby!

And yeah, teeth photos are a bitch. I gave up years ago.

I'm not crazy about people touching my baby either, but I guess having the 6 year old boy around takes care of any germs that she might not already be immune to. Stupid kindergarten germs. I'd like to slap all of THEIR hands.

a good hand-smacking will learn 'em. and so it should ;)

ooooh, now why haven't I thought of the hand smacking for the pregnant bellly touchers?! I'll most definately keep this in mind for future bellly touchers, and then baby touchers... (BTW, only a few weeks more... doctor seems to think baby will be early b/c the baby dropped!!!!)

Too many hands on the baby..not enough for the gate, isn't that just a methphor for life? This might work for the teeth photo..but you'll need extra hands to accomplish. Buy a bottle of bubbles, place pretty Mia in a posing place, unscrew lid, fish around for wand, blow bubble, have camera ready. The wonder on her face should open her mouth enough to see the teeth. That first bubble is the one to catch though, later she just might get too jaded to open.

Me, I want to carry around hand sanitizer with me just so I can touch all the cute babies. Though I tend to go for the feet.

Yes, I HATED when people would touch my little man without washing their hands first. I also made my parents and in laws wash before touching the boy. And when they are sick, they are up all night and very screamy. So you have the right to swipe at stranger's mitts

I'm sorry, but I want a "Move, Fucker" gate WAY more than pedal gate! Awesome.

And so that I may go pitch my POS $300 vacuum cleaner out the m**F** upstairs window, please disclose the brand of decent vacuum cleaner you have discovered!

I know we are not cosmically linked but rather living a similar existence by virtue of our big babies' ages but sure feels like it sometimes. I was actually contemplating a "Please don't touch the baby's hands sign" and trying to figure out how to affix it to him so that he can't eat it. And yes, the constant vacuuming because the baby rolling all over the, too. Your baby is teething again? Me, too. Maybe I'll just start writing "me, too" for all my comments over here and save myself a few keystrokes.

I don't want to buy the $300 vacuum, I want to know the name of the $40 vacuum. My $200 vacuum sucks....but doesn't suck.

Oh babies. Babies are so cute! And Baby Mia is the cutest. I only touch my friends' pregnant bellies if I've asked first and they've said "yes." I agree that it would be TOTALLY rude to do otherwise. But for those of you who may be wondering why the heck anyone would want to do it at all, I can only say in my defence (and in defence of other belly-touchers out there) that there is just something so magical about a life growing inside another human being. I have not yet had the opportunity to experience it for myself, but I have a serious case of "babyitis": I CAN'T WAIT! So I'm living vicariously through my friends who are all (it seems) getting knocked up lately.

$40 vacuums rule the universe. I LOVE mine.
And the hand slapping thing? Bin there.
But what do you do when it's someone's sweet little snot-spewing child who is touching the baby?
Slap the parent I guess?

I am still laughing at JuJuBee wanting to slap *all* their hands!

"Move, fucker." LOL!

Let me know if slapping hands, works out for you. I might have to deal with the same issue soon.

The pedal on the gate sounds like a good fix. Before I read the comments and learned of the pedal option, I was wondering if you might be able to hook up the clapper to the gate somehow.

You go gettum with those hands! You are so right about that! Can I come with you sometime and help? I love smacking people around!

Holy crap there are hands free gates?

I would like one that is voice activated. That would be cool.

Ooooooh the teething! I hear you, I do! Another sleepless night was had by all last night. Well really only by me and Liam but who's counting! Not me! Because my brain is mush!
And I get you on the baby gate thing. BAH! Now I'm annoyed, too!

I'm so slow that I immediately thought "She needs a CLAPPER gate." Um... yeah Heather, a quick one you are! Geez.

I like the pedal idea, but if I'm holding a toddler and a basket of laundry, I can't see my feet or a pedal.

Voice activation - that's the way to do it.

Hey, I say go ahead and slap the crap out of the reachers ... I mean, if anything, because it is fun to watch the response. SO. NOT. EXPECTED.

mental telepathy- gates that open with mental telepathy

punch em in the nose!!

boy oh boy -- sounds like mom could use a nice relaxing day at the spa :-)

I'd say let me come over and take her photo - I'll bring my trusty dog (who's been washed first, of course) who will do silly things to make her laugh - then I can zoom right in on those choppers and get the photo the world has been waiting for.... Oh yes, I have it all figured out.

I just spent three days e-mailing Blogger back and forth for a problem that turned out to magically go away when I adjusted the text size. Yup. Text size. (slaps forehead.)

Computer stupidity - is that a virus??

ummm, what's the difference between an internet service provider and an internet services provider??? i've worked in the IT field for eight years, and i'm thinking that i must've missed something here.... :( and i'm ALL about the verbiage with things.

I'm sure everyone has already told you about the handsfree gate. The one we bought multiples of was THIS ONE.

And YEAH - I hate when strangers reach for the baby's hands (especially the cashiers at the grocery store who have been touching GOD KNOWS WHAT!). Yes, I know the baby is cute, but grab for the feet people!

Damb, I always was told the more expensive vacuum cleaner the better it worked. What kind is the $40 one?

Just bring a little can of Lysol around in a holster or something, and when someone reaches for The Bean, make a quick draw and spritz the hand. Probably a lot more surprising than a slap, and it puts the message across so very beautifully.

Strange thing about vacuums is, the less they suck, the more they suck. How I love idiom.

What kind of vaccuum is the $40 one?

I got one to keep my dog out of the kitchen and she always knocked it down.

I have a friend who had her baby in her stroller one day and this little kid probably around 4 or 5 years old came running up, hollering 'OOO, babah, babah ghurl...'. And she leaned into the stroller to give my friend's baby the sloppiest, wettest kiss she could sprinkle on her. Well, this little kid, even though she just loved babies and wanted to love her up, also had a VERY runny nose, weepy eyes and matted hair and unfortunately (why am I not surprised) her mommy was nowhere in sight. My friend, being very diplomatic and yet practical too, just kept rolling the stroller the opposite direction of the lean-in from the little girl until finally, the little girl just fell flat on her face from the motion of leaning in and not connecting. It was so classic. My friend wasn't at all freaked, just calmly reached down and slid the little girl out of harm's way and we went on our merry way. As we're walking off, my friend whispers to me, "No way those snot-lips are gonna touch my little girl."

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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