So I have this friend. No, really! We've known each other for about 15 years and been pretty close for the last 10 or so. I haven't seen him since last January when I told him I was pregnant. See, he likes to drink and smoke and since I wasn't in a position to do either we just never got together.
When Mia was born, I sent him a email to let him know. Then I sent him a birth announcement. Then a Christmas card. I had not heard from him once in six months. Finally, last week I send him an email to find out if he was still alive, in the area, etc. A couple of days later I got an email back telling me how busy he had been, giving me a lengthy update on his life, and then an oh yeah, how's the baby.
I wrote back. I told him I didn't think there was any kind of busy that was excuse enough for going six months without congratulating a supposedly good friend on the birth of her child. Much to my surprise, he apologized (he isn't really the apologetic type) and we made plans to get together for lunch yesterday. I was proud of myself for stating my case without going overboard (althought admittedly only because I had Chris read the email and took his advice to tone it down) and then moving on. I don't move on very well.
We didn't go to lunch yesterday. I didn't follow up, and neither did he (I knew he wouldn't). I didn't follow up because I am still angry, I am still holding a grudge. Because in my mind he is in the wrong and therefore should have to make the effort to patch things up with me. The reality is, I know this is up to me. It is my choice whether to suck it up, forgive and forget (how do people do that???) or walk away from a decade of friendship.
Right now, I'm inclined to walk away. I'm just wondering whether I will regret it later.