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Happy Whatever Day

I don't hate Valentine's Day, I just think it's a bore. I still want presents though. In honor of this boring day, I asked Chris if he would mind if I posted the story of our Valentine's Day last year as an example of a crappy Valentine's Day. He said no based on the totally irrational objection that the story I wanted to tell was not true. What a stickler! Now really, the story I was going to tell is true, it just did not happen on Valentine's Day. Once I realized that, I asked Chris if he would mind if I said it did happen on Valentine's Day because that would make it funnier. He felt that would be lying. I felt it would be artistic license. However, since Chris has withheld permission to tell the story based on the minor detail of it being partially a bald-faced lie, you will all have to wait and hear it on Mother's Day, which is when it really did happen and therefore he cannot object.

(I feel I should take this opportunity to mention that if you are looking for something as dull and pedestrian as the truth you ought to look somewhere else. I consider this a "reality-based" blog in that I have no qualms about changing facts to suit my idea of funny and presenting them to you as the unvarnished truth. I rarely make anything up out of whole cloth, but I also frequently rearrange reality to suit my whims (which I also do in real life, but we won't get into that). Now you can't say I never told you.)

Anyway, I wanted to tell the story because I thought I would do this thing where I posted my worst story and then asked all of you to post your worst stories and we would all have a giggle, but then I realized that probably 27 of you would have had the same idea and we would get tired of reading the same stories over and over. Instead, I am going to tell you about my most romantic Valentine's Day (which I do not need my husband's permission to post because we hadn't even met yet, take that!) and then if you want you can tell me about your most romantic Valentine's Day and, oh I don't know, maybe anybody who has a story so sweet it actually causes me to vomit will win a prize or something. Alternately, in the spirit of my not-quite-true blog, you may make something up and tell me a big whopping lie.

This story is entirely true. Valentine's Day senior year of high school I was dating this guy named Xavier. (Ok, entirely true except he was not named Xavier.) We had been going out since around Christmas. On Valentine's Day, I went over to his house and up to his room where he had artistically arranged on his bed a teddy bear, a fabric rose like you can buy at 7-Eleven, and a bad poem (guy's an engineer now, poetry is not so much his thing) that said something about having the teddy bear to keep me company at night and that he loved me (which he had not said to me before). I thought at the time that it was the most romantic thing I could imagine, and I still think it was romantic because it involved 1) the effort to think of something sweet (even though it was pretty cheesy), 2) an honest statement of feelings, and 3) going beyond his comfort zone to do something he thought I would like (I fancied myself a rather fabulous poet at the time).

(It is also entirely true that the last time I saw Xavier was when I randomly ran into him in Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris. That would also be romantic if we were currently able to be in the same room without spitting at each other. Oh, and if I hadn't been, you know, married and with my husband at the time.).

And there you have it, my moment of grand Valentine's Day romance from (counting on fingers... and toes) 14 years ago today. Your turn, tell me a story. Oh, and send chocolates.

Comments (31)

That IS a very romantic story! I don't have the talent to make one up for you, so I won't even try. And I don't know if I've ever had a truly romantic Valentine's day. But this morning when I got up there on the kitchen counter was a small boquet of carnations/daisies, some chocolate covered pretzels, and a 6 pack of Mt. Dew, with a card signed by my kids. DH was already gone to work, bu when I called him he denied any involvement. Yeah, a 2 year old and a 4 year old did that for me. OK. But very sweet, and the boys appropriately took all of the credit.

my most romantic Valentine's Day (so far) was 3 years ago. i had just started dating a guy, we'll call him C, around the end of December. i was 22 and he was 19 (yeah, robbing the cradle... lol). but let me tell you, this kid knew how to throw on the romance. he picked me up from my house with a card and a rose on the passenger seat of his truck. then we went out to the obligatory V-Day dinner (i don't even remember where anymore). after dinner he said he wanted to show me this really great place that he always went to relax and clear his head. i had to close my eyes the whole way; it was a surprise. we ended up going to the top of this huge hill on some guy's farm (C and his family were close friends with him). it was absolutely gorgeous. the top of the hill looked down on nothing but forest and the sky above it was strikingly clear and full of stars. absolutely breathtaking. it was there that C gave me a hand-written note telling me how much he was falling for me and blah, blah, blah. but everything had fallen together so perfectly that it has stuck as the most romantic V-day so far. nothing much ever happend between me and C and our relationship ended badly when he went off to Boot Camp. but i will always remember that Valentine's night fondly.

Well, I've only really did the Valentine's day thing once. Seriously...The first Valentine's Day I spent with my husband, we were very poor students. We had been going out together since about October and did I mention that we were very poor? um..yea...VERY poor.

Anyway, I had told him about a class I had taken in my undergrad whereby we had to build a whole portfolio surrounding ONE thing in nature (photography, poetry, short story, etc..) and I told him about a tree, about 3 hours away (in a different province), that I had chosen as my subject. I called it Marcel. I described where it was and what it looked like and even read him the short story (that actually got published) but he had never seen the tree. I'm not sure he'd even been to that province.

I think I might have fallen in love with him forever when the night of the 14th of February 1999, I opened up a beautiful framed black and white picture of my tree, Marcel. I have it hanging in our room to this day and I think it's the first thing I'd save out of a burning house.

Don't knock those 7/11 roses. I am going to buy one toady.

Mia is real?

I have one, but on the surface it might seem sad, but to me it was goes nothing....

My husband and I had been dating for almost a year, and it was going to be our first Valentine's Day together. We had all sorts of romantic plans to be together, and go out to dinner, etc, etc. A week before the big day, I got a call that my great-grandpop wasn't doing well. He'd had a stroke and had some heart problems relating to that 5 weeks prior to this, and had been in the nursing home since then. (Some quick background... my grandpop was 93 years old, my granny, his wife, was 91... she'd been in the nursing home for years and years, and had hated my grandpop for putting her there. But he couldn't take care of her, and plus, she was a little crazy after herself having a stroke... she went from being the nicest lady I'd ever known, to the meanest one... calling everyone a Bitch, and complaining about the shit that they fed her, and the worst part? She yelled at grandpop when he visited her, and told him that she knew all about him and the whore he was living with... it would have been funny if it wasn't so heart-wrenching at the same time).
So anyways, Grandpop gets sick. He's in the same nursing home as she is, and they tell her that he's not doing too well. They wheel her down to his room, and suddenly, it's like there was a whole new woman in the room. She started crying, and held his hand, and would weakly stand up, lean over his bed, and kiss him, and whisper, "I love you" over and over and over again. She refused to leave his bedside. Those of us there got to witness this powerful transformation from a bitter woman to a grieving, loving wife. She held his hand for a solid week, and refused to go anywhere. Grandpop died the night before Valentine's Day... and Granny was there with him. Never before had I seen such a powerful testimony of love... they'd been married for more than 75 years, and loved each other until the last minute. At that point, Forrest came to be with our family (he'd been in school all week and couldn't get away). I told him all about what had happened, and then, at the funeral... he broke down crying just from hearing the story, and hearing about Grandpop's dedication to Granny... because even when she yelled at him to go home, and screamed at him when he visited, he still went every day... He totally loved her no matter what.
What ever happened to Granny? Well... One year later, as we were getting ready to go out for another Valentines Day, this time, we were going to go out with my parents on a double date, we got the news that Granny died. Almost a year later. I think she just couldn't take living without him.... either way... That's probably the most romantic Valentine's day for me... I know, very sad... but it taught me so much about love and dedication...

The one that sticks out in my mind the most is the e-card I got last year from my current sweetie. Like Xavier, he went outside his comfort zone to write something very sweet in the e-card he sent me - which featured a dozen cyber roses. After pointing out that they're the kind of flowers that will never die, he said he wanted me in his life til the last one died. His own ass-backwards way of saying he wanted to keep me around forever - which I thought was very sweet because it's very out of character for him.

De-lurking for the first time to post this because what the heck, Valentine's Day is also my b'day - how's that for a crummy day to share? lol

Aaron and I had just met. Literally, that night. And we were out with a mutual friend and we had both confessed to her (while the other was in the bathroom) that we really liked one another. Finally she went to the bathroom and Aaron was trying to get up the courage to tell me he liked me when he accidentally spit his breath mint on me. It was love.

Valentine's Day 7th Grade.... my boyfriend gave me ( at school) a giant balloon with a teddy bear, candy and confetti inside. While slightly embarrassing to walk home from the bus stop with, I thought it was a pretty neat gift.

Sounds cheesey, but I have had all the flowers & wonderful dinners & chocolates.......

The most romantic Valentine's Day was to come home about 2 years ago to an immaculate house, and our 1 yr old fast asleep!!

Best Ever!

3 yrs ago, I found ut I was preggers with baby #3. oh yea, and my 8month old was home sick, and my oldest was at the Dr sick. Snow storm of 03, and Im knocked up again. I had said that if it were another boy I was going to name him Leo Valentino D*B***o -sooooo glad we had a girl.

Great story! Happy Valentines! I have my story on my site if you would like to read it:)

My most interesting Valentine's story is most definitely not my most romantic one. I'll give you the interesting one....

I was living alone in an apartment in the suburbs of Minneapolis. A few weeks before Valentine's Day, a handyman had been in the apartment to fix the radiator, and had left a note saying that he'd noticed that we liked the same kind of music. I was not smart enough to be creeped out by this, and I actually tried to call him at the number he left.

When he returned my call, I wasn't home, and he left a rambling message on my machine. Blah, blah, he was so happy I'd called, but he had this huge family issue, and it would be some time before we could be together. He was so sorry, and would be in touch soon. I WAS smart enough to be creeped out by this, and I vowed to contact building management and the police if I heard from him again.

I didn't, until Valentine's Day, when a huge black plastic garbage bag appeared outside my door. Inside was a second-hand Minnie Mouse doll. It was about 2 feet tall, dirty, and BROKEN.

I'll need to invent a more dramatic ending to the story -- I never did turn him in, but I never heard from him after that, either.

You know, I really wished you'd stuck with Worst Valentine's Day Ever, because I have a doozy of a story for that one.

Mine (complete with Super Mario Brothers reference) can be found on Mama Says Om

After 19 Valentine's Days without so much as a card or a flower, I was in the middle of an ugly divorce in 1999. I had met a man in an online chat room about 8 months previous, and this guy was sweet. We talked about anything and everything, even though he lived on one coast and I the other. He provided more emotional support than any of my local friends. Anyway, he worked with mentally challenged kids and that year they made Valentine cards from construction paper, glitter and glue, doilies, stickers, etc. He made me a Valentine and mailed it out in a huge manilla envelope. Sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. He and that card boosted the self-esteem of one emotionally battered woman in ways I'd never thought construction paper could do. I never met the man, and after a few years we lost touch, but the card is still in its envelope in my desk drawer. I pull it out every year and think about how far I've come since then and say a little thank you for the best Valentine ever...the friend, not the card.

I'm perpetually single, so I don't have any stories of my own, but I'd like to put in my vote for Corinne's story, which made me cry, because that is incredibly romantic and beautiful.

Oh boy...this is going to sound really bad and at the time it was bad...but now I understand and can laugh at it. When I was newly married I set out to have a romantic Valentine's Day with my husband. I got a room with a jacuzzi, champagne, candles, music, strawberries...the works. I left a balloon bouquet at the house with a note attached for him to meet me at the hotel. When he got there he was angry at the expense and felt I was being foolish. He said "Married people don't need to do things like this." I was really hurt at the time. But now I understand. That money could have been used for a number of things we needed at the time and I didn't need to do all that to show how much I loved him. And in a way it probably made him feel insecure because he wasn't able to do much for me. Anyway lesson learned.

I did bring chocolates for you, but I ate them all while I was reading your blog entry. Oh well...they were good too. ;) Happy Valentine's Day!!!

My most romantic Valentine actually happened on Christmas and is posted over on today.

The kids are a bit hyper today so I can't write a story, but I wanted to say, Happy Valentine's Day!

Last year, CVS has their Valentine candy on 75% off. I came home with two boxes full of those small boxes of Sweet Tarts candy. We STILL have Sweet Tarts from this time LAST year.

Why would we need 50+ boxes of candy? Well. Sweet Tarts are James' favorite. And he ignored our "no gift" rule and presented me with a bracelet on Valentine's morning. Therefore, I HAD to redeem myself! So I kept him in candy for a year! :P That's sweet in the sugary sense, but not so much in the, "Aww, how nice!" way.

And for you? No address = no chocolate. Sorry.

i dont have anything great...oh, this one time marc made reservations at a fancy restaurant and had a dozen roses on the table for me...i thought it was something you paid extra for as a valentines package, but he had in fact gone there earlier in the day and left them to be put out for when we sat down. oh and in other romantic news...when i bought my wedding dress, they told me i was the 300th customer, threw confetti at me and told me i won half off of my dress total. i left ecstatic and couldnt believe my luck. a couple weeks later marc told me he had set it up!! i didnt beleive him and he showed me his credit card bill to prove it, lol. hes a good egg!! happy v-day to ya and yours!

I have been reading your husbands site for a while, and just got smart enough to come visit over here. Great Blog. I am semi-anti valentine's day. My favorite one was so long ago that I don't remember. Probably the fifth grade when it was all still about the candy. However, today was great because my daughter made me a valentine's day card with her and her sisters hands traced on it. I want to here the story that Chris told you not to use. You peaked my curiosity. By the way the pictures of Mia are wonderful.

My husband posted e-roses on for me. How sweet. Oh, and I got some real chocolates.

I worked at a florist one Valentine's Day. That will get you to the Heart of the matter quicker than anything. You see all the behind the scenes card writing and who sends what to whom. One delivery was from a wife to her husband. He was a working man, he drove a dump truck for the city. My instructions were to deliver it at 9:15 in the morning...before he drove away on the day's assingments. How?, I asked. Where?, I added. Easy, she said. He is the third dump truck on the right. I did it, flowers delivered. The truck tires were taller than I and he kept sitting in the driver's seat as I reached up high to deliver his vase of bright red roses. And yes, the other drivers did think it was funny. But I had been there when his wife signed the card and I knew her thoughts came from genuine romance for her guy.

Today was a pretty good Valentines even though my sweaty is far away. I got a call at work early this morning on my cell that I couldn't answer and he left me a really nice message saying that he wanted to say Happy Valentines instead of emailing me to say it. It put a smile on my face first thing in the morning.

The Valentines Day that sticks out in my mind the most was last year i had been with my fiance for a year and a few weeks. He was up north finishing his college degree and i was at home bored and lonely. I waited all day on valentines day thinking that he had totally forgot completely so i went to bed very mad and swearing never to forgive him. At 11:30 i heard our apartment door open i freaked out thinking that someone had broken in and called the police. I hid in terror in my closet waiting for the police to arrive. When i saw my fiance through the gap in the door. i rushed out of the closet to hug him and smack him for scaring me half to death. I collected my flowers and present(yes not very original). He had driven all the way from boston to see me on valentines day but had gotten caught in an accident for 5 hours. Of course by this time i had totally forgotten about the police and preceeded to give him his valentines day present not of the flowers and candy nature when the police came rushing in............ yeap caught in the act on valentines day its still the best v-day ever in my mind!

Wow...I am so glad I found your blog - I love it!! Anyway, great Valentine's Day story too...I really can't tell you my FAVORITE (or best) Valentine's Day story, because, honestly, I don't have one. Thanks for sharing yours though! Maybe next year I will have an awesome one that is shareworthy :)

One year, funnily enough it was 14 years ago... I was dating this guy called Xavier (what a coincidence, eh?) This guy was hot! He was a free-lance graphic designer, good looking, sensitive, affectionate and Man! he could kiss! The kind of kisses that make you go totally week at the knees. Needless to say, I was smitten...

I woke up early on Valentine's Day to the phone ringing... It was Xavier! He told me to look outside. In the wee hours of the morning, he had snuck up to the house (later I discovered he had been dressed in combat gear *faint*) and tied a huge hand-designed card to the car.

The gesture was very romantic - and then there was the effort he went to and the element of fun! He was such a fun guy... but it also turned out that 'free-lance' meant LAZY! *Sigh* I just got tired of paying for everything.

My most romantic Valentine's Day was when I was 19 and dating this guy named Mike (his real name). We dated for a couple years and we are still friends to this day even though he is a tad on the wacko side. We actually went to dinner with his parents (yeah his parents, but let me finish). We had Italian food at this really nice restaurant and Mike wore this great white sweater that I bought for him. He ended up spilling tomato sauce on the white sweater which he only made worse by scrubbing at it with his napkin. In the middle of dinner, he read me a poem he had written (he is now an English professor, go figure) - right in front of his parents! It was sweet. Afterward, he gave me three red roses, because he couldn't even afford a half dozen roses. Still my sweetest V-Day ever.

Well i'll tell you what I just refused to do on valentine's day...

send my husband's attorney a response to the divorce summons. i just couldn't do it.

especially since i spent my first wedding anniversary in family court filing sole custody petitions for my daughter, who was exactly 1 month old at the time. what a memory.


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So the Fish Said...

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