I know nobody really wants to read about my cat, and I had something else to write about that was maybe even sort of funny, but then Callie has a tumor that we probably couldn't treat even if we wanted to and so here we are talking about my cat. She drives me insane. She howls at 5 am for food (and for most of the day for that matter), she will only drink out of a faucet so I have to turn the sink on for her 20 times a day, and beats up Pixel and she pees all over the place and I love her madly. She's almost 20, I've had her since I was 12. Twenty years. Through almost every important thing that has happened to me in my life, I've had this cat. Through every change, every new thing, college, marriage, motherhood, she's been there, the one thing in my life that never changes. And yes, we have known for years that her kidneys were shot and yes all she does lately is eat and sleep and pee on the carpet and I keep telling myself that I am ready for this, that I could and would put her to sleep tomorrow if she seems unhappy or in any pain. That is my responsibility, that is what I owe her for 20 years and it very well might be a good long while yet, impossible to say, but when it comes I can do it, I'm ready.
Except that no, I'm not. Really not. How do you get ready for this?