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Y'all, I'm... um... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yes, tired. (By the way, the word I was looking for yesterday and could not think of was moue. Now you know.) Very tired. I was trying last night to remember when I last got a decent night's sleep, and as near as I can figure it was sometime in my second trimester. Mia's latest thing is to scream her head off when I get her within three feet of her crib and then to wake up just as I am falling asleep and refuse to go back to sleep for at least three hours. Then she starts screaming in her sleep sometime around 5 AM. (Yes, I know you have the solution but no, I don't want to hear it. Because I'm stupid and you are a better mother than I am.) (Sorry, I'm a little touchy lately.) Chris and I have the following conversation almost every night:

Thing One: What do you think it is?
Thing Two: I dunno, what do you think it is?
Thing One: I dunno, maybe teeth?
Thing Two: Maybe, but I looked this morning and didn't see anything and she hasn't been drooling a lot.
Thing One: Oh. What do you think it is?
Thing Two: I dunno, maybe gas?
Thing One: Maybe. Or reflux?
Thing Two: Maybe. Or separation anxiety?
Thing One: Maybe. So, what do you think it is?
Thing Two: I dunno, maybe teeth?

Fascinating stuff, isn't it? Of course, this usually comes after our daily discussion of baby poop.

Anyway, it has been suggested that yesterday's post about being a loser wasn't loser-ish enough (or possibly that I have already proven myself to be a much bigger loser than that and it did not live up) and also, let's see... boring? Yes, I think boring was definitely intimated. So, for those of you who were similarly disappointed, I give you I'm A Loser Round Two: Public Humiliation Through Nudity Edition.

Mia and I went to a La Leche League meeting today (hey, it gets us out and Mia loves the babies and she stole some poor kid's sock) and towards the end of the meeting I was nursing Mia. Now, even though this was a La Leche League meeting, I'm not entirely comfortable just whipping the boob out in public, so I was being rather discreet thanks to a button down shirt and one of those nursing tank top things. Anyway, the meeting ended and I got Mia bundled up and gathered all her toys and returned the sock she had stolen and took her out to the car, wondering all along why it was so much colder than it had been when we had gone into the meeting. Although, not colder overall, really just colder in a travelling area around my left boob.

You guessed it folks. I left the meeting, walked through the building and across the parking lot to my car with my shirt and nursing tank top thing undone and my boob pretty much hanging out (well, as much as boobs as small as mine can be said to hang). I was so proud. Did I mention that I passed several people on my way out? Additionally, did I mention that the meeting was held in a church?

I so rock.

Check out my flickr for the pictures! (No, not really. Sheesh.)

Comments (27)

No pictures? Wimp!

Sometimes, it's like motherhood just whaps us over the head repeatedly.

So sorry about the nighttimes! :(

Hilarious!

My mom once walked through an entire airport (Chicago maybe??) with toilet paper streaming from the back of the waistband of pants, if that makes you feel any better.

Poor thing. Funny to us, probably not you. I once started walking up the stairs in Grand Central Station and didn't realize that my skirt had become unzipped and fallen down until I hit the 2nd step. Funny now, not at 22.

Hang in there. It's no help to you, but my daughter did the same thing (actually still does on and off and she's 18 months). I think it's teeth, but you never know.

Lucky she's adorable.

The church people probably thought that you and Mia had just finished posing for a new Madonna and Child triptych and thought very highly of you.
Not that Mia looks like a boy. The back of a baby's head is pretty gender-neutral

Hahaha! OMG that's funny!! Oh wait... that's wrong isn't it? I mean.. ahem... oh no... I feel your pain... I'm sure no one noticed... really...

Reminds me of the time I managed to fall all the way down the stairs... in a skirt... I kinda bounced on one foot all the way down so I wasn't hurt (thank you for asking) but it made a LOT of noise... and I was in a rather embarassing heap at the bottom which happened to be (and this is the best part) right in front of my younger brother's classroom...

He STILL tells everyone he meets that story... within 5 minutes... sigh...

I wasn't going to comment. I really wasn't. I even left and then I realized that I have the song, I'm a loser baby... stuck in my head now instead of the Elmo song. SO, I thought I'd come tell you. See now that is being a loser. Oh and the boob story was funny.

SOOO a reason why I dont think I will be able to breast feed in public.

Oh dear. OH DEAR.

See? That modesty thing? Right out the fucking window, as soon as the kid comes. I actually nursed my twins in public, once. Until I realized I probably scarred whoever saw me for life. And, I have DD's.

At'a girl, though, for not giving a shit. Perhaps in exchange for sleep, you got yourself some tough skin.

You know Mia better than anyone else and no one can tell you why your baby is doing this. I would just say because she is a baby! I hated everyone giving me advice on how to get G to sleep longer. There was no reason for G to nurse 10 times everynight and only sleep in our bed or in her swing but otherwise she was screaming and none of us can stand the screaming and will do anything to prevent it. You just got to do whatever necessary to make it to that first bday and then it gets easier as far as sleep goes..Ha...everything else gets harder.
Boob hanging out..been there before and I have like non existent boobs and it is embarrassing. Hey just keep telling yourself nobody noticed.

This is not advice to you. This is only my story about my daughter when she was younger than she is now. She never slept through the night until she was almost six years old. Truth! The boy child who arrived a few years before her, slept all the time. All night, then took a nap or two during the day. I was beside myself and could tell she was exhausted, too. When she got old enough to talk we impressed on her the need to sleep. She tried. She learned, finally, to go to bed and lie there during the night time, but sleep wasn't possible. Then, for another reason entirely, we changed our diets. No more red dyed frosty drinks...that kind of change. So see this doesn't apply to Mia and you and isn't advice from me. Just a true story. It took 2 1/2 days from the last sugared-up lunch time and she fell over asleep. Close enough to her bed that we managed to carry her the rest of the way. Asleep she was....and it continued for 23 hours. Amazing. As we analyzed it, we decided it took about 3 days for whatever was hyping her up to leave her system. I still don't know exactly what was causing her wakefulness, but it was something that we had been eating everyday. Too bad it took us almost six years to find it! The other side of the story is my sleepy son. After his 3 days on the new eats, he began talking and talking and talking. He was awake! No moral here, just life experience.

Hilarious... sounds like something I'd do. Hope Mia starts sleeping better soon... I know how frustrating not sleeping can be... I think I'm going to pump a little this weekend so that Forrest can do one of the night feedings for me since I'm so freakin' exhausted anymore... :) Plus, I wanna introduce the bottle like you said so that he will take it later down the road.

Beth hang in there I PROMISE it gets better. I PROMISE. I also promise that I too have walked around with my boob out (but my are huge compared to yours, I'm sure) Noah had a tendancy to sight see while nursing, he would often turn his head to have a good gawk and would stretch my poor abused nipple with him. I'm like national geographic now

That...is awesome. :)

My little one is probably a week younger than yours and we've gone thru the same sleep deprivation thing - seems like we get one week of good sleep then... WHAMMO! Hi mom, I'm gonna wake you up at least twice a night!

I've tried everything and have found soemthing that works (for us), but it's only been a few days yet, and I'm sure it will all turn to crap again in a few days again anyway, so I wouldn't dare pass it off as advice.

Just wanted to give you an "I hear ya".

And I simply think it's cute that there is a group called "The Milk League"

I still sometimes check myself when we get to the car to make sure I remembered to put on all appropriate clothes. Those early days of exhaustion can really wear you down. Hang in.

LOL! Did it help with wipping it out anywhere;)

Today, at my new job, (after 2years as a SAHM mind you) I looked at my co-worker and said, "ouch, my boobs just filled, i guess the baby is eating." I was very serious, and sad, and jealous of my currently SAHD. My co-worker? APPALLED! (sp?)

Geez... I hope someone tipped ya!

I'm getting rather annoyed. By the time I grow up and get a kid, there won't be any silly things left to do, thanks to pioneers like you. Admittedly, it'd be a stretch for me to be called for topless nudity, but I'm sure there's an equivalent I haven't thought of yet.

(You /do/ rock.)

No advice on the sleeping thing. They all say it will get better. I haven't noticed it yet. My daughter is 2 (28 months) and still wakes up and screams occasionally throughout the night for no apparant reason. You just learn to get by on less sleep, and thank <your diety of choice> that your husband is helping you out.

If it helps any, my kids (combined ages: 15 years or so) still don't sleep through the night. At least not all the time.

And I once walked all the way to my car with my left boob hanging out, too. Next time I do it? I'm SO thinking of you.

That's the thing about babies, you just don't know what the hell their problem is. It's such a trial and error thing, and by the time you have it figured out, they're on to the next inexplicable behavior. A few more months and things will get easier. Of course that does your sleep deprived soul no good whatsoever today. Hang in there.

This is the reason why you SHOULD breastfeed in public. Then when crap like that happens you won't care.

ahhhh...now that is the loserish type activity I have come to expect from you. Well done!

sorry about the sleeping problem, I finally got a bigger rocking recliner chair so I could sleep and hold baby securely. I am fully prepared to buy a bigger one as she gets bigger, still getting up once a night with a 2 year old.

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So the Fish Said...

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