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Why the internet is awesome and I suck

First things first. Since you all cleverly sided with me over the music room filth issue, here, as promised, are more pictures of Mia. Mia and poor, poor Pixel, who had such a nice life before the baby.

Moving on, did you know that the internet is awesome? It has so much power. Yesterday I posted about how filthy Chris's music room was, and then he came home from work and cleaned it. So, tomorrow I am going to post a picture of our closet and on Friday I will post the litter boxes and the downstairs bathroom. (People, why in the hell did you allow me to buy a house with four bathrooms? Why? You must have known I was never going to clean them.) Using my new-found power of internet husband shaming, I predict that my house will be spotless by the end of next week.

And finally, why I suck. You know what drives me absolutely batshit insane about my husband? He never takes the low blow. Never. I always take the low blow, twice if I can manage. And then I wait a month and do it again, just to let you know I haven't forgotten. Chris? Never. He just keeps his skinny white ass smack dab in the middle of the moral fucking highroad. How can you fight with someone like that? How? Batshit insane, I'm telling you. Anyway, I thought that after I posted about his filthy room, Chris would counter with some of the plentiful ammunition at his disposal. Apparently I had forgotten who I am married to. The problem with fighting dirty with someone who doesn't fight dirty back is that then you have The Guilt. The Guilt leads you to do things like this:

It is entirely possible that before posting about the filthy music room I first had to clean up, well, several areas of cat puke that were nowhere near the confines of said music room. It is also possible that some of those areas of cat vomit had been in residence on my carpet for (and this is why I hate telling the truth and avoid it whenever possible) upwards of a week. My cats are old! They vomit with distressing regularity, and some days the cat vomit, which is always in the basement and therefore I only have to see it on my way to and from the laundry room, just does not seem more important than getting sloppy wet Mia kisses.

It is additionally possible that after I posted about the filthy music room I vaccuumed up what appeared to be somewhere between four and seven cricket carcasses that had amassed in front of the fireplace. But I can explain this one! I steam cleaned the carpets in the basement a couple of weeks ago and to do so moved a basket of piano music onto the hearth and apparently the area behind the basket was where crickets went to die and their little corpses were then transferred en masse to the hearth. And then I just left them there for two weeks. Or maybe three.

So there, now you know.

Comments (27)

My wife always says "A little guilt's good for you."

She learned that from her mother.


I'm with you on the cat vomit. They just keep vomiting, so what's the point? Then sometimes they end up eating it anyway, so the problem just works itself out. Sort of. I'm sure I'll change my tune when my little one really gets mobile and tries to eat the vomit. Gross. You have four bathrooms? Insanity.

Look, the high road can be a real bore. Fortunately, your husband seems readily able to find other ways to be interesting. But a good low blow can provide plenty o entertainment. So don't feel bad, feel amusing!

That said, you get cred for your honesty.

Whew, it's nice to know that my vindictive stubbornness will be a stabilizing effect on my future marriage.

Of course, the house would never get CLEANED...

Aww...that's good to hear (The moral high road and the resulting guilt parts, not the cat vomit and cricket carcass I actually told a friend about this series of posts (pretty sure I lost her at 'blogs') today. I think my ex-husband would have killed me for posting photos of his mess, or at least screamed at me for days on end. But, cleaning? Nah, N-E-V-E-R!!

You've got FOUR BATHROOMS in your house? Jeeze, you guys are livin' large. We've got 2 and I think that's too much sometimes (with the cleaning) but that's because I detest cleaning bathrooms.

I hate guilt. But I am so good at feeling guilty. Somehow I doubt Chris will fell like cleaning all four bathrooms. I could be wrong though. Your poor cats. As I was looking at the pictures I thought the next one would be the cats tail in Mia's mouth.

First of all, damn if that is not the cutest baby in the world.

Second, I laughed so hard at this because I do the exact same thing!!! I am like the housecleaning nazi but I always discover that I'm pretty guilty of ignoring the same things I accuse my husband of ignoring. If that makes any sense!! d'oh!

yeah still won!

I always leave cat puke for a couple of days or so. My defense is it's easier to clean up if it's not fresh, but really I just forget about it.

Why, oh why, can I not find a pretty purple pantsuit like that in my size? With matching socks?

Whatever works!

One of the greatest things ever about having a dog is that they EAT CAT BARF. I'd feel bad about it except that my dog seems to love it! Her ears perk up at the awful gleh-bLE-gleh-bLE-gle-SPLAT sound and most times she gets to it before I can sweep in with papertowel and make a tidy kittybarfburrito of the mess.

That lovely visual was payback for the ChrisCactus = SkinnyWhiteAss, which completely cracks me up in a squinty face kinda way.

All smartassness aside: Beth, you really do have my sympathy, arguing with morally superior people is uber-frustrating - surely there is a chink in his armor!

Ah ha so maybe we also inspired you to do a bit of cleaning too? Yes, I have my own filth too but somehow I always manage to only see my hubbys. Why is that?

so he's really as nice as he seems on his blog?

and you shamed him in public?


but i could totally see myself doing the same thing.

Why would anyone in their right mind want four bathrooms? I mean, come on, how can you use four bathrooms? You would have to be a Walton on Walton's mountain to need four bathrooms! Yikes!

If I had known you back then I would have warned you. Sorry!

Oh, I forgot to aw!

AWWWWWWWWWWWW how cute are those pics? She is so adorable and that is one good cat!

Pixel looks surprisingly calm as Mia is playing with his tail. My cat would not stand for it.

Haha!! Internet... Karma... same thing... Be careful what you ask for and all that...

That being said... can I be next in line for the internet bathroom cleaning fairy???

remind me NOT to eat off of your floors. ha! kidding. well, maybe not. but, don't be insulted. i really don't make it a habit to eat off of anyone's floors...

my husband fights EXACTLY like that and it drives me insane.

"I always take the low blow, twice if I can manage."

Ummmm. Ok.


Awwww, but that just reinforces that you married one of the good guys.

Mia is adorable - and wow, what a patient cat. Those pictures with my kids would've involved the cat with her fur all fluffed up and then pouncing on a child's head.

As for the cleaning, as long as there aren't cockroaches big enough to carry off the sofa, it's all good. ;)

4 baths will be nice when you have an Army of children in the house! You're going for that right??

I never thought about using the internet to get my house cleaned. Great Idea, I know you feel bad now though. I should take pics of the "networking" area my husband has established on the wetbar in our house. It looks so much worse than your music room with wires and harddrives all over the place.

Awww. I'm sorry you married such a good guy. ;-) These darn menfolk make it awfully hard to complain about them!

I hear you on the bathroom issue. Our last house had 3 of them and the new house has 4 (I think). Good thing I'm having a baby. Then he can clean all the bahtrooms (because that's why we have kids, right?)!


CUTE CUTE CUTE photos and GROSS GROSS GROSS about the cat vomit. Sounds like you're both on the cleaning frenzy. The power of blogdom,

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