so the fish said

An actual conversation from last night, plus a line I didn't think of until this morning

Me: Were you groping my boobs in the middle of the night last night, or did I dream it?
Him: Probably.
Me: Probably?
Him: Probably I was groping your boobs.
Me: What do you mean, probably?
Him: I mean, I was alseep, but I probably did it. It sounds like something I would do.
Me: Something you would do while asleep.
Him: Yes.
Me: Because all the other women you are sleeping with have told you that you do this? So you can say it sounds like something you would do?
Him: No, I just mean it was probably a misguided attempt to cuddle.
Me: Ah.
Him: See?
Me: Yup, although you ought to be careful with that. You would hate to be in a business meeting and grab someone's crotch in a misguided attempt to shake hands.

Comments (25)

heh

Posted by Pamalamadingdong | April 12, 2006 9:09 AM

Funny. I always think of the perfect comeback one minute too late.

Posted by ann adams | April 12, 2006 9:17 AM

LOLOL. Misguided attempt to cuddle. Sounds like a man :-)

Posted by Ginny | April 12, 2006 9:20 AM

Grabbing a boob, isn't that most men's definition of cuddling?

But I do like your comeback...makes me think of a girls' night out post that I need to put up at some point...

Posted by Krush | April 12, 2006 9:22 AM

"Cuddle"...yeah ok, Chris.

Posted by JuJuBee | April 12, 2006 9:27 AM

my husband is the KING of grabbing boob.

this morning i was blowing my hair dry and he just walked into the bathroom and grabbed a boob.

Posted by ali | April 12, 2006 9:41 AM

i think it's refreshing that he's so willing to accept responsibility even though he's not sure he actually did anything. most people would just start out by denying everything.

man. can i spin or what? :D

Posted by patricia | April 12, 2006 10:11 AM

Wait - that isn't how we shake hands?

Posted by ben | April 12, 2006 10:22 AM

glad to hear my husband isn't the only man who does this... only, when he does this now, he loses a finger each time because, HELLO!! Nursing mother, sore boobies...

Posted by Corinne | April 12, 2006 10:35 AM

Oh dear, we have the Noctournal Boobie Grabbing at our house nightly. Except now that I am pregnant, my boobs hurt, so when he does it, he gets a sharp elbow wherever I can reach him.

Posted by donna | April 12, 2006 10:55 AM

Hah.

Posted by william | April 12, 2006 11:38 AM

that was grate sounds like something that would happen to me!!

Posted by stephanie | April 12, 2006 11:45 AM

You are not alone in the mysterious middle of the night gropings - happens to me too. It's never misguided attempts to cuddle but a very sleepy attempt to get something started...so don't buy Chris' excuses!

Of course, I told him to hire a hooker - I mean assistant this morning, so really I'm no help at all!

Posted by samantha | April 12, 2006 1:13 PM

Well, I'm jealous. My husband never grabs my boobs in his sleep. Since I've been having trouble sleeping for the past few months, it would at least break up the staring at the ceiling. :) You two always have the funniest conversations.

Posted by Jessie | April 12, 2006 2:22 PM

Shit that's funny. I'm really glad that I finally learned not to drink liquids while reading your's and Chris's sites. Love your last line.

Posted by Melissa | April 12, 2006 2:47 PM

ok that is too funny!!!

Posted by Corinna | April 12, 2006 2:53 PM

Sometimes I'll walk by someone at work and think to myself, "it's a good thing I didn't just grab his crotch." Which is odd, because why would I do that?

I'm just saying...

Posted by Isabel | April 12, 2006 4:12 PM

HA! That was a good one.

Posted by Sabrina | April 12, 2006 4:21 PM

LOL!

Posted by Island Girl | April 12, 2006 5:02 PM

Apparently my friends sleep like that, spooning, and his hand's on her boob all night. "What? It's just a natural hand hold." *shrug*
Am single, so nobody's grabbing my boobs, inadvertently or otherwise.

Posted by Heather | April 13, 2006 2:49 AM

oh, dude. you have no idea how many times my husband's done the same thing. i swear. they could find those things if in a coma.

Posted by Sarcomical | April 13, 2006 3:13 AM

My boyfriend often grabs varying body parts of mine in his sleep. Sometimes he is lucky enough to get a boob or my arse, but mostly he just gets a leg or something.

Must just be something men do, I guess...He also talks in his sleep, sometimes loudly - often in tongues.

Posted by Alice | April 13, 2006 10:02 AM

I peed myself a little when I read that last line.

Posted by mrsfortune | April 13, 2006 5:50 PM

that last line cracked me up, lol!

Posted by tiffanie | April 17, 2006 9:28 PM

LOL! Too funny!

Posted by Cityslicker mom | April 18, 2006 12:48 AM