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Picture This

Hi. Things are still sorta shitty. Let's move on.

I need to find a picture of myself that I am willing to publish, which is difficult since I hate every picture ever taken of me. We won't go into why, just go with it. Anyway, I went through some of the pictures on our computer thinking surely I would find something suitable, but it has proven to be rather challenging. I think this one is definitely too old:

The problem is that in roughly half the pictures of me I am sticking my tongue out. I mean, if the picture it going to be lousy no matter what, may as well go all the way, right?

Hey, as long as we're here, do you think I should cut my hair short again?

When I'm not sticking my tongue out, I seem to have something stuck to my head.

You can see my quandry here. I was wondering, can I use this one? I actually like it, but is it too "bridesmaid from five years ago" to get away with it? Oh, and also is the first thing you notice my eight chins?

Also, I took a couple this morning, but I don't know. I think I look like I spent most of yesterday crying and haven't done my hair. Also, does anybody know how to photoshop out a shiny forehead? Cause I considered doing the makeup thing, but I just don't see it happening today.

I'm screwed, aren't I? I may as well just take a picture with a sign around my neck that says "Hi, I'm Beth and my nose isn't this big in person."

________________

Later....

Ok, I broke down and put on some lipstick and brushed my hair (mainly because I realized that we have Mia's nine month checkup today and I have an image to maintain with the hotty pediatrician). So, what do you think?

Number 1:

Number 2:

Number 3:

Comments (102)

Oh I hate pictures of myself too. I found 'the angle'. 'The angle' is that one angle that if I look into a camera that way, my nose and chins are remarkable minimised and my eyes are wonderfully accentuated. In my case, my head is tilted slightly and my chin is a little tucked in. I should also mention I never ever wear makeup.

If you are interested in seeing photos of me let me know... I am not too keen on posted links here for all to see. ;)

PS: I think you are beautiful and did not even notice your nose was supposedly big in those photos. :)

Well, deciding whether the one pic is too five years ago bridesmaid-ish, depends on what the photo is going to be used for...and, no, I didn't notice any "s" on chin until you said so...same goes for nose size. You are your own worst critic, no?
I have a lovely little program that erases shine (though I am so sure your hubby must know how)and pores (my fav part).

Yes, I vote for cutting the hair!

I just spent part of this morning trying to get a picture of my new hair do! I love the new look, when I look in the mirror. Then I look at the pictures and guess what? I look old! And I'm getting a chicken neck and wrinkles. I wanted to cry. Hubby kept saying how great I looked and all I can see are the flaws.
See, I look at those pictures and aside from the one where you are sticking out your tongue, you look really beautiful (and no your nose doesn't look big!).

I think both 2 and 3 of the new pix are great. I mean, you look good in all of them, but those two seem like the best bets for publishing.

Also: your nose is not big, and I thought the short hairstyle was adorable.

# 2. :-) LOVE it...

I liked the bridesmaid picture, but I think it sort of look slike they weren't focusing on you, and if the picture is supposed to be of you, then I think it should REALLY focus on you.

I like #1 because it's smart looking. It says to me, "I am a professional woman. I do great work. You? Will not bully me. I AM the bomb.

I like #2 because it feels most like you, "Hi! I'm Beth! I'm perky and pleasant and I love purple and I put on lipstick, just for you."

I'm not fond of number three. I like how in #1 and #2, your hair comes down over your shoulder. It makes the picture softer and more personable. I'm so distracted by your hair being pushed back in #3 that I can't really focus on anythig else.

So that, friend, is my $0.02.

#2 :)

And I like your hair longer.

Number one or Number three with the short haircut?

Yanno, if we get to vote *G*

I'm sure that no matter which one you pick, it'll look just absolutely fabu on the back of a novel at Borders. :)

(Okay, so that's my guess!)

Oh my gosh, I would definitely go with Number 2 of the last set, your smile is gorgeous and you shouldn't cover it up! My second favorite is the "bridesmaid from five years ago" and you don't have eight chins so hush. :P

Beth, i HATE every single picture of me EVER taken...seriously.

i think you look great in the last three shots.

Very nice pictures! That lipstick is fabulous! I like the hair long - it's a beautiful color - but do what you want! My dad once told me that boys would like me more if my hair was long and I swear, it scarred me for life. (If they don't like me for ME then screw them! They'd like me better if I had boobs, too, but I don't so too bad!)

Depends on what version of Photoshop you have, but if you have the Healing Brush tool (4th down on the left) use THAT to touch up shiny foreheads/blemishes, etc. It's my favorite tool by far, but I think it's new to the CS2 version. (You could also try the rubber stamp tool, just decrease the "hardness" to a low percentage.)

Goodness gracious you're pretty. I love the picture of you with no makeup and your hair pulled back. You just look so fresh and girl-next-door beautiful.

Okay, don't feel so bad. I had the horrific late 80's and early 90's glasses, too. Why why why did anyone (i.e., our PARENTS) think they looked attractive? In my third grade class picture I look like an 8 year old secretary.

I am not used to seeing you with makeup! You are so beautiful without, but I understand the shiny forehead issue. I always have a shiny forehead because I forget about putting on powder. Anyway, I think I like picture #2 best. If you don't need the picture right away, maybe Chris can take really cool one - if you're married to a good photographer, take advantage of that opportunity!

Wow, I think all of those pictures are lovely - I would go with the one you like best.

Also? What I would give to have your pretty teeth and smile! Gorgeous!

Number 3 with makeup-- though my favorite is the one with the shiny forehead-- you look young, fresh, happy in that pic. Natural.

The shorter hair is adorable-- but I am liking the long hair.

And sorry again about Pixel.

You look beautiful in all the pictures. I particularly like the one with something stuck on your head but since I'm getting the feeling it's not quite what you're looking for I'd pick #2. But I like 1 & 3 too. You look more approachable in #2.

Definitely #2 with the makeup.

First off I think you look absolutely beautiful in ALL of them...with and without makeup...but if I personally were chosing one...I would go with #2 with make-up...because it really strikes me as being super-natural YOU.....

PS - There seems to be a buzz about ClubMom...is that your new gig?

Hi Beth, After studying each picture at great length and also taking into consideration several of my co-workers opinions, I vote for picture #1 as my favorite. Picture #3 was a close second with Picture #2 a distant third. Also pay no attention to these people that tell you to cut your hair. Blasphmey!

I vote for photo #2; you have fantastic teeth, and when your head is slightly tipped down you look pixie-ish. You've got a young Carrie Fisher thing going! :)

Short hair is fun, you never have to scramble around looking for ponytail holders, and bed-head hair is way more entertaining. If your hair grows quickly, consider bangs - I was never allowed to have short hair or bangs (even though I have a huuuge forehead) as a child, and completely dig it.

How do you say, "Wow, you clean up nice," without making it sound like you were ugly before you cleaned up. But you are very attractive before and after makeup. As platonic as possible.

And it's #2 because you have a great smile.

~Jef

I think I like #2 the best out of the new ones. The bridesmaid pic is my second favorite. And even after you said it, I still don't notice any extra chins or your nose, just a really gorgeous smile.

I've inherited my mom's ability to have my eyes closed or a bizarre expression in nearly every picture ever taken of me. Our photos look like Queen B is being raised by the cat, given the number of times TechDad or I show up.

okay, two things... and please don't take them the wrong way.

with makeup, you're kinda hot and you have an exceptionally long tongue.

I vote for #2 in the last set. And for longer hair. Like the color too!

I vote for #2 in the last set. And for longer hair. Like the color too!

i have a huge honker too and i tell you, have the camera as far back as you can go and then zoom in!!! your schnoz will look ten times smaller!

I like number 2... but you're gorgeous no matter what. Seriously, the first time I met you, I told Forrest he could never meet you because you were hot and he'd totally leave me for you... hahah!! But you look nice in all those pictures.. so go with the one YOU like, the one YOU want to put out there..

I vote for #2 in the makeup look....cause it is BEE-U-TEE-FUL!

Personally, I'm with you on the sticking out the tongue thing. I have several. Multitudes. A plethora of that type of photo. So, I'm partial to the second one down. =)

And I like number 1 of the new photos.

I like # 2. I like your hair long. and if the buzz is club mom related... we need to chat... ;)

Funny! I have always pictured you with the shorter hair. I love both though - I now must be jealous of you! Kidding. I am also v. sad to hear about your kitty. Lots of hugs going your way.

you're hot!
#3

It all been said, but I'll go with what EMily said. I think you should go with #1 or #2.

I've been growing out my hair and toning down on my makeup lately. I'm digging it. I've also been wearing my glasses a lot more lately instead of contacts all the time.

Foundation/Powder, Mascara, and maybe a small amount of eyeliner with the ever present chapstick that you love... that's how I'd go. No eyeshadow, no lipstick, no blush. Take a pic of that and I'll probably like it best.

But a) don't cut your hair. you can't have cute ponytails when you have short hair and ponytails are hot this year. b) makeup pic #2 is the best of the ones you took today.

Damn you and your perfect teeth.

Number 2. Definately.

Awww I like the ones from today. Say hi to the hotty! :)

Your smile makes any picture of you beautiful.

I like #2 and #3 of the last set - leaning more to #3 - but I also like the bridesmaid one. You look great !

You are naturally pretty. But for the sake of picking one photo, I will go with #2. Great lipstick shade and hair shade too btw.

I like #3, and I think your hair looks very cute short.

I like #3 of the new ones although I also like all the funny ones too :) If it is not for too-serious of a purpose, I would go with one of the funny ones :)

I'll have to say I have to know what the photo is FOR before I can pick. But I think you're honestly one of the most beautiful women that don't have an airbrush taken to them. Speaking of which, I did that to the photo I had to get for this summer. I mean, come on!

Also, doesn't your husband need to take lots and lots of pictures of his gorgeous wife all the time? Though all three photos are pretty, I think you're even prettier.

That was funny. I like #3!! I'm constantly sticking my tongue out too since I'm going to look horrible anyways.

Excellent. I read your post earlier, gave it some thought, and was just coming back to tell you to put some lipgloss on. Turns out you didn't need me. I'd go with number 2. Very pretty and relaxed looking.

Of course, if you want to take more shots, the May Glamour instructs amateur photographers to give shy friends a prop such as a pet (though I picture Cher giving Ty a rose in Clueless). Alternatively, they suggest you snap a picture of the subject looking back over his/her shoulder. I thought you might like doing that because it would give you the option of also capturing the smokin ass.

I personally like the ones of you sticking out your tounge. And, 8 chins? WHERE?????

My vote is for #2 or #3 of the "with lipstick" set.

Beth, you are so pretty! Anyway, number 2 with lipstick, for sure. I can't wait to hear why you need this picture!

They are all great photos, but I'd vote for number 2. It's fabulous!

Can't wait to hear more.

hard to vote w/o knowing what it is for, but I like #1 the best

That's really cute, being a bit unsecure, but Beth: it's not necesarry! You're absolutely gorgeous. I like the bridesmaid picture a lot (Audrey, I TOLD you! :), I also like the one from this morning with your hair tight back and #2.

I like the second one too. I also wanted to suggest not looking at the camera straight on. Try for a more corner shot. Not a profile, but one where your head is turned a little in one direction like you're trying to show someone your ear ring while at the same time you're trying to catch their reaction. And real smiles are always best.

My hearfelt sympathies for your loss. Pixel and Callie were blessings.

Photo #2 projects the Beth I've learned to know through the last few months. A face you can trust. A warm fuzzy.

Mia has great genes! Although, Chris is Rude Cactus, he is NO cold prickly. Chris is good people, too.

Love your posts! Can't wait to hear about your new venture!

Tootles,

Anni

I say Number 3, you look lovely.

Okay, so I like #3 best but you can get away with the "bridesmaid from 5 years ago" one - that's my fav. I'm the same way - never like pics of myself. I should post the two I actually like someday. :)

I like the first pic--ha! very cute! The tongue ones made me LOL! Any of the last 3 are great pics for you to use. Professional-looking and simple. I like the long hair much better than the short. I like my own hair better long, too--but, isn't it a pain having long hair with a 9-month old! She pulled out 5 whole pieces at once yesterday!

I like the first pic--ha! very cute! The tongue ones made me LOL! Any of the last 3 are great pics for you to use. Professional-looking and simple. I like the long hair much better than the short. I like my own hair better long, too--but, isn't it a pain having long hair with a 9-month old! She pulled out 5 whole pieces at once yesterday!

oh I like number one, and your cute, and I don't think your nose is big, granted I'm a black girl and our scales are a bit different, I polled hte people in my house and they agree, and two of hte guys were like - is she local? so there - you are cute, get over it! :)

I like number two. You look gorgeous. :)

I like photo number 2 because you look nature. And, the lipstick and brushing your hair...yes, better. I also think the bridesmaid one looks really nice too, and makes you look older than what you must be! I think short hair is fun, sassy, and cute!

You look great with or wihtout makeup, though I prefer the without. Also, I really do like the bridesmaid picture; it really captures you. And finally, I really like the shorter hair. Not that the longer is bad or anything.

I like # 3 of the new pictures. You have beautiful lips! :-)

If the hot pediatrician likes Sarah Michelle Gellar, he's yours; #2 bears a striking resemblance. You're a beautiful lady :)

I think you're absolutely gorgeous--and though the lipstick does add a certain va va vooom! you have a beautiful smile without it, and such lovely smiling eyes. But I totally get the picture hating bit. I have so many pictures where I look like a freak--something about the way I must look when I'm talking--I guess I'm very animated, which translates into pictures as a total dork. Oh well :)

you look gorgeous!
And are talented with the self photo in a way I could never be :)
But you talk a lot of bullshit about looking crap in photos and extra chins...

I really love 2 and 3. Also, the one with your hair back - you look like a model.

I vote for number 3 of the last set...:D

Oh and in number 2 of the last set...you remind me of Anne Hathaway..in a good way :D

You look beautiful both ways, with and without any make up on. And believe me, that's not something I can say about many people.

I fast forwarded through 69 comments so I wouldn't be unduly influenced. #3 of the last set I think.

i like the bridesmaid photo. i think you look beautiful and so happy. of all the pictures that's my favorite but, as someone already pointed out, it really depends on what you're going to use it for.

of the ones with makeup i like the 2nd best.

also, if you're going to cut your hair, may i suggest locks of love? depends, of course, on how short you're thinking of going and how long your hair really is currently but it's for a good cause and no sense in just letting the hair get thrown out.

And why, pray tell, would you need a picture of yourself. Hmmm. I wonder. :)

Anyway, I think I'd have to go with made-up Beth picture # 2

You are beautiful. And I'd stick with the long hair.

You look great with or without makeup, with short or long hair, and with or without your tongue sticking out. Lucky! No. 2 is my favorite.

You are lovely in ALL the pictures (even the tongue ones hee hee)...I vote for #2 though if we're voting. You look great with a smile on your face & your eyes light up. You're adorable, so there.

Stunning!

Mia's pretty Mommy!!

You are beautiful ! Would I get to be beautiful as well if I procreate ? The bridesmaid picture is amazing. So are the ones taken with make-up. They sell that stuff for a reason.

As for hair length, what does your husband say ? Just because my bf when never choose shorter. For anything.

For what it's worth, I don't think you should cut your hair - it's gorgeous. I would solicit the opinion of Chris AND the hot pediatrician! :)

My two picks are bridesmaid-five-years-ago and #2 from today. Totally different looks, depending on what you're using the photo for. And chins? You have one chin and some creases because your head is turned. Puhleeze. You are talking to a chubby girl here so don't even start with me.

I like the second one.

I'm so sorry about your kitty. Well, both of your kitties. I hope they're happy and sleepin' in that big ol kitty place in the sky.

Vote #2 in 2008!

As for Photoshop, there's a clone stamp tool that they hide somewhere that basically takes the colour from one part of the picture and puts it where you want it. So just find somewhere that looks foreheady and alt-click (or something), and then brush the shine out. I should say that I've only really used this for smaller bits, so it may or may not come out very well for across the forehead.

In the end, I'd just listen to whomever said the rubber stamp thing above; they probably know what they're talking about better than I do.

Since my router spaced out for a little while during Pixel's vet stay and eulogy, I'd just like to say that I feel for you. That's too much bad karma in too short a time, so something good better happen quick or I'm lodging a vote of No Confidence in the current cosmic force.

My vote: picture number 2.
In my very very personal opinion, i think you should go for a new haircut. Sometinhg really stylish.

Number 3

I like all of them actually.

I like number 2 - I think your smile looks really natural in that one, not forced. And the short hair looks great :)

I didn't read the other comments so I wouldn't be swayed (plus there were just too darn many of them).

My first choice is number 2 then number 1.
And I do know photoshop if you want me to mess with the "shine" from the original pics (and for future reference, I have experience eliminating baby drool from pics as well)

Regarding the hair length, I think you look cuter, and younger, with it longer like it is now.

I think you look beautiful! The new #2 and #3 are my favorites.

wooooohoooooo!

you are so pretty!!!

and I'm with you on the bridesmaid pictures, I have some of those. I am looking pretty hot if I say so myself, but unfortunately I am wearing hunter green taffeta.

Definitely #2. You have such a nice smile.

#3 is definately a good. Soft, gentle, relaxed smile. Very nice. And you don't need makeup but you look fine with it. Damn you're beautiful, Beth.

I loved all of your pictures, thanks for sharing them! I, too, am a tongue-sticker-outer: it got so bad that my nickname at one point was "lizard." Needless to say, I completely identified with this posting and thought it was hilarious and a brillant idea all at once!
In terms of voting for one to use, I would personally choose #2 - it's the cleanest composition of the last 3, your smile is bright & beautiful, and your eyes are alive and sparkling. Good luck!

#3! I know it's probably too late to comment, but I thought I'd get my two cents in.

Beth, you're gorgeous!! But - really - I think you and Chris should consider having another baby. Come on? Make-up, brushed hair, LIPSTICK!?!?! Mia's allowing you too much free time! :-) just kidding! But you do look beautiful!!!

I like youre hair long and by the way you have some awesome white teeth!!! Have fun at the hottie pediatrician :)

I did not read the post ( iahve been away and I am trying to catch up) but wow. You are beautiful.

You're lovely in all the pictures, my dear!

Speaking as one who has met you in person, you are gorgeous.

I like number 3 best and the bridesmaid picture.

The others don't do your beauty justice.

number three for the pediatrician...
=)

Jessica

I like #1 if it is a serious professional thing, and # 2 if it is like to give to family or whatever. and LOVE the one in the car with the tongue. I make horrible faces if I cannot avoid the thing altogether. good luck!

I love your nose, Beth. You're way more beautiful than you give yourself credit for. Either pictures 2 or 3...just because of the smiles.

Let's start a recovery group for those who are phobic about pictures! I'll join. I have to have the right angle too or I look too fat or my nose looks "pointy". I like the pictures where you have a big smile!

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


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