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The Cat Who Walks Through Walls

We named Pixel after the kitten in the Robert Heinlein book who walked through walls because he didn't know that he couldn't. He walked into our apartment one day 12 years ago and curled up in a chair and decided to stay, so it seemed appropriate. He was literally starving when we got him, and even on a steady diet of cat food four times a day he would still stalk and eat french fries, pizza, tortilla chips, cheese and doughnuts. At one point he tipped the scales at somewhere north of 18 pounds, but lately he was just a bit more than eight. He mellowed a bit the last few years, but you still had to watch yourself around him as he never fully got over his time as a stray and having to fight for his life and he could take a chunk out of you when the mood struck. He's the only cat I have ever known who came when you called him.

Pixel did not do well after the surgery yesterday. It seems he had a pretty nasty infection hiding in his lymphnodes along with the cancer and overnight the infection took over. This morning, we had to decide whether to keep going with treatments that might buy us a little time, might even buy us enough time to treat the likely very advanced cancer and possibly get Pixel another six months, or to just let him go. We decided to let him go. A little while ago, we sent him off to find Callie.

I want our cats back now, please.

Comments (142)

I'm so sorry, Beth. I wish our friends could stay with us forever.

I am so sorry, Beth. This is making ME hurt and cry, so I can't even imagine the pain and loss you feel right now. This is devastating. Truly, truly sorry. (((hug)))

I am so sorry.

Oh Beth I'm so sorry that you lost both of them, and so close together. I'm thinking about you guys.

Oh God. I am so sorry.

I'm sorry. So very sorry.

This entry and PMS are not a good combo. I am so so so incredibly sorry. My heart is breaking for you and Chris....

Oh Beth, I am so so sorry. It just isn't fair. Snuggle Mia extra tight today.

I knew when I saw you and Chris up on my RSS reader just now that something had gone wrong with Pixel. This is me hugging you and hoping things start looking up soon!

I'm so sorry. What a terrible loss.

gadamn, no fair no fair.

If it is any consolation, my coworkers must think I'm crazy for sitting here with tears streaming down my face.

Oh Beth, "the pooh" goes on, another cat or 3 will wander into your life, and this will happen very soon.

I am so sorry.

Oh man, I am so, so sorry for you all. That's just not fair.

Pixel's story sounds a lot like my Gracie's and they even look alike. I think I need to get both my cats in for check-ups.

I am so so sorry. I can't imagine how much you guys must be hurting. Take comfort knowing that Callie and Pixel will be together again, now.

I feel so sorry for you guys! That's rough.

I said this on Chris' blod, and I'll echo it here-

Oh, Beth, my heart breaks for you and Chris. To lose both cats so close together is horrible for you and little Mia, who doesn't understand.

My thoughts are with you.

Oh god, that sucks so much. I know it doesn't help, but I'm sitting here now with tears rolling down my cheeks. I really feel for you.
I am sure that Callie and Pixel are curled up somewhere together now, sleeping.

I can't imagine. I wish you all well with your healing.

i can't stop crying.

I just came over from Rude Cactus where I left an overly long comment. I don't cry much but I have tears in my eyes for your pain and my memories of kitties I want back.

The girls believe in a kitty heaven with lots of grass and trees, yummy food. All of our past kitties will meet up there and best of all, no dogs. They have their own.

Much love,


I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard but 2 so close just sucks.

I'm so sorry for all of you. No matter how long family members are around, it's never long enough.

I want your cats back now, too. :( *hugs* I'm sorry, hun. :(

I am almost crying after reading your post and Chris'. I'm so sorry. This is just not fair. I'm proud of you for making the really tough but humane decision. I'm thinking of you.

oh no i'm so sorry beth. *big hug*

I'm thinking of you.

Here's to Pixel and Callie...I hope they're tearin' it up together up there. I'm so sorry for you guys.

I'm sorry,, so sorry. They must have needed each other more than we can understand. It's not fair.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Honey. That's so very, very unfair.

That last sentence made me cry. I'm so sorry.

I'm really sorry for your losses. It just isn't fair.

oh man. this one hit home. we just put one of my cats to sleep two weeks ago -- he was on his third hunger strike in 9 months and I just couldn't do the force feedings to get him back to health again. I suspected that he didn't react well to our baby (who is now 8 weeks old), or more specifically to the fact that I was too busy with the baby to coddle him like I used to. He had a hard time with stress. When he was put down, the vet said that he felt a mass in his stomach, so maybe it was cancer afterall. Who knows. I'm sad that Bennett won't ever get to play with him; he was a great cat.

I'm sorry that you lost your little guy.

Oh, Beth. My sweet friend. I'm so, so sorry. I don't even know what to say, except for I'm sorry.

I'm so very sorry. I will kick the powers that be if I ever see them.

the universe is mighty unfair sometimes. My sympathies to you, chris and mia.

I hope pixel and callie, where ever they are, are warm and curled up together.

Damn girl, I'm sorry.

I am so very, very sorry, Beth. You made the right decision but damn what a horrible one it must have been to make. Losing two family members so close together is very sad.

We are all so very sorry for your family's loss.

I'm so sorry. Lots and lots of hugs.

I am very sorry for your loss.

oh Beth. i am so so sorry. my heart breaks for you. no one should have to go through this so close together.

That is just so unfair. I am sorry. So, so sorry.

my heart is breaking for you, Beth.

Wow. I am so sorry.

I'm so sorry for you all. I'm crying over your lost kitties, too. I wish I could say something to make it better, but I know it doesn't work like that. So sorry.

Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry. My heart is breaking along with yours. How awful it is to say goodbye to our beloved pets. There will be others who will come into your life and make you smile again, but right now, I know that doesn't help.
All I can do is send you a big {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}

This is so not fair. And I'm really sorry you both had to go through this again. Pixel was beautiful.

My God you guys. I am So Sorry this is happening again, so soon. Putting all religious beliefs aside, I believe in the Rainbow Bridge and I believe Pixel is there now, with Callie, basking in the sunlight.

Im crying.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so so very sorry for your loss. This is just so unfair. Maybe Pixel just missed Callie so much it was time to go find her. I don't know, I just know that this sucks. We'll be keeping you in our thoughts.

Oh hon, I am so sorry...

Oh Beth, I am so, so sorry. *huge hugs*

So sorry to read this, at least he isn't in pain anymore.

I'm so sorry Beth. We've had to make that desicion too and it's never easy.

Beth I'm so sorry for you all. That's so rough, especially so close together.

As I commented on Cactus' site, I am so sorry for your family's loss!!

Oh, I'm so sorry. Take care.

This is so not fair. He looks just like my dear, departed Zelda in that picture, which only made me cry even more than your sweet post already had. I am truly, deeply sorry, Beth. I hope that Pixel is happily cavorting with Callie and Zelda, and all the other cool kitties, wherever they may snooze. My sincere condolences for your loss. *sniff*

You've had more than your fair share. My thoughts are with you.

I'm so sorry Beth, it must be so tough losing both of the cats so close together. Best wishes to all of you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry. I know it's awful.

I am so sorry.

Oh, god. I have serious tears for you guys.

Well, shit. This really, really sucks Beth. Which you know. Oh geez. I'm so, so sorry.

I'm so sorry, Beth. It's very obvious that you took wonderful care of both Pixel and Callie. You gave them each a lovely life, and dignified exits. I hope the hurting fades very soon.

Oh no! That's SO not fair.
Not fai

(oops Noah hit the enter key)
not fair at all

I am very sorry about Pixel. I was sure that your next post about him would be happier. You did the right thing even though saying goodbye is so sad.

SHit girl, that sucks so bad. I'm very sorry for you, Chris and Mia.


I am so sorry for your loss.

God, I am so sorry...that is so awful, to lose both of them in such a short amount of time. At least Pixel and Callie both lived long enough for Mia to meet them.

When I saw your post I was hoping it wasn't what I thought it was. I'm so sorry it was. I'd be completely crushed if I were you. I'll hug our animals extra tight tonight and am so very sorry for your loss.

Beth, I am so sorry. I wish I could give you your cats back.

I'm so sorry you guys.

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this again so soon :(

So sorry.

Sorry for another loss. I'm sure Pixel is with Callie now, chasing mice. Peace.

I'm so sorry, Beth.

Oh, gosh! That suck! I'm so so sorry. Callie & PIxel up in Heaven together.

the same thing i told chris...i can't imagine losing two pets in such a short time. i hope they are happy together now...

I realize that I don't "know" you but I am still crying. I gave my cat an extra hug and I didn't even yell when I found a surprise in my new shoes.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Pixel, Callie, and the entire Cactus-Fish family are in our thoughts...

Oh goodness Beth, this is just horrible. I am so very sorry.

so sorry for your loss....

I'm so sorry this had to happen on the heels of Callie. So, so, so sorry. I hope that someday, when the pain fades a little, that you are able to be as excellent of a pet-mommy to another feline baby--not to replace these two, but because you so obviously love having cats around and they love you. So, so sorry that you have to go through this.

Beth... I'm so, so very sorry about your loss. My heart is breaking for you guys. Please let me know if you need anything.

NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! God I'm SO SORRY. Totally not fair. Not one bit. Going to hug my really old cat now...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I had no idea your kitty was so sick. You made the right decision in letting Pixel go. I hope you and your family heal quickly from this.

This is not fair. Not at all. I'm so sorry, Beth. It's so soon after Callie for you to have to deal with another loss. I hope you guys feel better. I think Pixel may have just missed Callie too much. You guys are in my thoughts.

I am so sorry.

Very sorry, Beth. :(

I'm so sorry, Beth.

So sorry Beth, take care hun.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. It is so incredibly hard to lose a pet!!! My heart goes out to you...

so sorry to hear this news. At least you have alot of good memories.

I just had to go and hug my cats. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you and Chris many hugs.

Hugs...I know how much this hurts...and I know it isn't right that the world keeps going on...when it stopped in a moment in time for you... Know that so many of us care...and that we will miss the furry baby stories!

I can't fathom how horrible it would feel to lose my 2 kitties - you must be devestated. I was very sad indeed to hear that you'd lost Pixel, too.

I'm so sorry. It's even worse that you lost them so close together. Your post made me cry because it's just so sad and you're very right -- it's just not fucking fair. I hope you feel better soon... my warmest regards.

I'm sorry Beth....

Beth, I am so sorry.

Beth, I am so sorry.

I am so very sorry. I know that Callie and Pixel are up there watching over all 3 of you.


I am so sorry for your family having to lose two of your best friends. Know that they are together and will be waiting for you when you get there. They may even come visit to make sure you are okay.

This is so sad! Having lost my dog years ago (which I have never gotten over) I don't even want to think about losing any of my kitties. I don't think I could deal with the loss of two babies, let along three, in such a short time from each other. My condolences!

There's no words... simply sorry for the loss of your friend...

I'm so sorry for you. I can't even imagine what it's like for you to have lost both furry friends in such a short time.

Beth, I'm so sorry about Pixel. I can't imagine losing two cats like you have so close to each other. Thinking of you.

Beth, this makes me cry. I am so very sorry. It is a strange thing how things work out. I heard a very sad story the other day about young twins dieing within two days of each other...and now this. It seems to me that sometimes there are people (or cats) who are linked in very special ways, and even death cannot seperate them. Maybe his time really came now, because he needed to go find Callie. It doesn't make it any easier on you, and for that I am so very sorry...try to take comfort that they have each other now. Thinking of you...

SO.FLUFFIN.UNFAIR to lose them so close together.

Unsolicited advice warning: wait a little while before you replace them.

I am so sorry for your loss. That is rotten that your two fury friends are gone in just a few months. I am glad you have Mia to distract you!

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Oh Beth, my heart aches reading this. I am so desperately sorry for your loss. To lose two pets within such a short period of time must be so difficult. I don't know what else to say, but you have my thoughts and prayers.


Oh Beth I am really so sorry. There aren't words to express anything really helpful here. Sorry, it sucks, my heart is with you.

I'm so sorry.

Beth, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It sucks when you lose a furry baby... many hugs for the Cactus-Fish family.


I'm so sorry Beth. I know how hard it is to lose a kitty, but two? Big {{hugs}}.

I just feel so sad for you guys. It's not fair to lose two beloved pets so close together.

OMG, you guys! I'm so sorry this happened! You've had a really rough spring. I hope the rest of the year treats you more kindly.

Oh Beth, my heart hurts for you. I'm so so so sorry.

I'm crying for you inside, and trying desperately not to cry outside (might startle my colleague) - oh Beth, I'm so, so sorry.

I could say all the normal corny things that people say trying to comfort one another but I won't. Instead, my email address is and if you want to (you don't have to, this is just in case you do want to) you can email me and shout and scream and swear and cry and say anything you want and I will listen. I won't interrupt and tell you I know how you feel, or tell you my own stories about losing my loved ones because that probably, almost certainly, isn't what you need right now. What you need is people who will just listen and be there, and I (along with all the other commenters I imagine) am here for you and willing to do just that.

*Hugs* xxx

Oh, how awful, Beth. I'm so sorry.

Not again! Oh Beth I'm so so sorry! I really won't say much more, I think everyone else has said enough. Big Hugs to both of you.

I am so very sorry.

Aww I am so sorry. I'm crying so I can only image what you are going through.

I'm so sorry, honey.

Awww, I'm SO sorry hon'. Hugs to you & your family!

I'm so sorry, Beth. :( That is SOOO sad. Hang in there.

My sympathies...I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Having been there myself, I know how difficult it is.

My thoughts and hugs are with you guys.


I'm really sorry...

Oh Beth, I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking and I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. I hope that Pixel & Callie can reunite soon and share the good sleeping spots.

I'm sorry, Beth. Evidently, my powers with the universe did not work.

I don't know if you'll remember me or not, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry about Pixel.

I hate that you're hurting so much.

I am so sorry for your loss, Beth. Wonderful name for a great cat, no doubt. Pixel reminds me a lot of my Bear, whom we had to let go two years ago. (I miss the picture you used to have of him on the site.)

I'm so very sorry.

I feel for your loss, having lost Watson two years ago to stomach cancer. I hope you have found the poem Rainbow Bridge on the Internet. Instead I offer you this:

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temorary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept is awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan..."

The once Again Prince "From Separate Life Times" Irving Townsend

Feel free to write and we can talk about your cats, whenever you'd like.

I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry. It's awful. We lost our dog of 12 years in February to cancer. Almost a year to the day when my favorite cat, that I had had for 14 years (longer than the kids, she was my first baby) lost her fight with kidney disease.

They really get under your skin, don't they? At least now Callie has a friend up there.

Again, I am sorry.

Oh my gosh...I've been a little behind in your blog and just found out about pixel...that is NOT FAIR. I am so, so sorry.


i HATE that this happened to you guys this past month. people without pets in their lives just wouldn't be able to understand how a tiny piece of yourself would have to be cut away to say goodbye to them.

so sorry. :(

I'm so sorry. I hope they found each other and having a great time.

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So the Fish Said...

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