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My mother, myself

button.png Kara made me do it.


As I raise my daughter, these are the ways in which I aspire to be like my mother:

I will believe that she can do anything she chooses. I will support and encourage her as she follows her own interests. I will allow her to set her own goals and priorities.

I will tell her I love her every day. I will tell her she is smart, she is capable, she is kind, she is beautiful, she is valued, she is worthy. I will tell her these things even when she grows tired and embarrassed by hearing them.

I will stress the value and importance of education.

I will not allow her to see me fighting with her father. I will be sure that she sees me disagreeing and debating with her father and standing with him as an equal partner.

I will give her everything she needs, but far from everything she wants. I will teach her how to discern the difference.

I will expose her to different people, ideas, ideals and teach her how to respect the differences. I will teach her to disagree without debasing.

I will let her take the risks that are so frequently the best part of childhood and will hide my fear from her.

I will not yell, other than to cheer her on.


As I raise my daughter, these are the ways in which I hope my daughter will one day aspire to be like me:

I will respect her as a person in her own right. I will treat her with dignity, value her thoughts and opinions, and not always assume that being the adult makes me right.

I will listen. I will hear her. I will keep her confidences.

I will teach her to cook or shoot hoops or knit or run bases or sing or fix cars or whatever else she wants to learn. I will show her that her gender does not limit her actions.

Comments (14)

That's very sweet!

That's really nice... Hard to remember now that my daughter is 16 and fights me at every turn, but it's nice to be reminded.

I love the line "I will not yell other than to cheer her on."

My wife and I were just discussing this very issue. I am glad I read this today.

Beautiful. Heard through the grapevine she's standing now.

This is wonderful.

It sounds like you have a great Mom. ANd that Mia has a great Mom too!
Where's Mia Monday?

I loved reading this. I want all those things for my daughter. I liked what you said about not assuming you're right just because you're the adult. I like to think of Joey as my teacher, as much as I'm hers. Since my pregnancy, she's been my teacher.... :)

Mia is lucky to have you as a mom :)

How lucky to have a mom like that... and, Mia is extremely lucky to have a mom like you...this was a fantastic read this morning.

"I will tell her I love her every day. I will tell her she is smart, she is capable, she is kind, she is beautiful, she is valued, she is worthy. I will tell her these things even when she grows tired and embarrassed by hearing them."
When that last line happens is when she'll need to hear the others the most.
I have whispered my own version of those words in my granddaughter's ear since the day she was born. The world can't have enough empowered girls in it.
Keep up the good work. Generations to come will thank you (no pressure there, huh? lol).

That's a beautiful post. Yea for Mia. She has a great mom.

nice and thanks for the reminder, i gotta go get a mother day present :)

Mia is so lucky. She has two wonderful parents. I cried reading this. Now that my parents are older, I understand them better and know that It was a blessing for me to be born into this family.

I cannot wait to read posts about Mia talking. Kids say the cutest things.

Not going to yell, that is a good one.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
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