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The News

(Mia Monday is coming later. I just got her to sleep an hour and a half late for her morning nap, cut me some slack.)

Ages and ages ago, so it seems, I promised you news. I'm finally ready to spill the beans.


I'm pregnant!

Ha, so not. Calm yourselves. Why is it that when a woman says she has news, we all jump immediately to pregnancy? With me, however, it takes an act of Congress to get me to ovulate even when I'm not breastfeeding at a near constant rate (which I am), so I think it would be best if you all just assumed from this point forward that I am not and will not become pregnant. Eventually, perhaps, you will get quite a surprise this way, but it will save you a lot of useless speculation in the meantime.

Anyway, a number of you guessed that I had somehow secured myself a book deal, which I find both incredibly sweet and also hilarious. The only thing worse than me trying to write a book would be someone trying to read a book that I had written. I have neither the talent nor the inclination, but you were very kind to suggest it. I am, however, pitching a children's book based on the adventures of my boob, so if any of you know anybody who might be interested in the project, shoot me an email, yo.

I'm stalling, have you noticed? I've been stalling because honestly I'm a little nervous about this for a number of reasons, some personal and some not. And also I'm worried I have built this up to be a much bigger deal than it really is and you are all going to say "is that all?" when I tell you about it and whoops, still stalling here. Let's just do it, shall we?

I am starting a new blog. I'll be keeping this one going, of course, but the new blog will be done for actual American money for ClubMom. I'm sure I will focus mainly on telling you even more boring details of every little thing my child does and whining that she does not sleep, so really you should all check it out. Like I said, I'm nervous about the whole thing, but I'm also excited. First of all, I am happy that after six months of sitting on the couch eating bon-bons, I am going to start contributing financially to this family again. What I will be making blogging is such a small percentage of what I was making before I quit my job that really, it is to laugh, but it makes me happy to be able to throw something into the pot. I am also thrilled beyond words at the prospect of being paid to write. Seriously? Me? Paid to write? Not even that, but paid to write pretty much whatever I want? I can't even remember how long this has been an unobtainable fantasy for me. Possibly since the first time I put crayon to paper.

So, that's the news. I'll be pimping the link as soon as I have it and I hope that some of you will at least check it out because I am a little concerned (or terrified) that I will throw this new blog and nobody will come and then the people who hired me will laugh at me and demand their money back and also probably steal some of my shoes.

I'm excited, really I am. But I'm also a worrier, and a fretter, and a worst case scenario-er, and a nobody really loves me-er, so all that tends to temper the excitement a bit. And please don't leave me comments that say "God, Beth! Like anybody would willingly sit through even more of your ungrammatical, poorly punctuated, yammerings!" because that would make me cry and when I cry my nose runs like crazy and it just isn't attractive and I have people coming for lunch today. Thanks.

Comments (55)

that is cool! where is the link already????

Congrats! I think that is cool. p.s. getting paid to write for lots of things (i.e. newspapers) can be a tad overrated. (Can you tell I speak from experience? lol) But getting paid for blogging??? That kicks ass!

Congrats to you!! Everytime I read that someone has been for hired for this gig at ClubMom, I get so pissed at myself for not applying...o-well...leave it to the talented!! Good luck!

Congratulations! Getting paid to blog is the new American Dream, and, I must admit, I'm way totally jealous. Can't wait to see the new link!

Awesome. It's going to be great.

Beth, that is so awesome!!! I'm really excited for you and know you will do a great job. Looking forward to your "ramblings"!


Congratulations on the new gig. I applied for the job but they wrote me back and said "Sorry, but Andrew Shue and Merideth Veiera both agree that you suck" or something like that. So congrats to you on not sucking! :)

Congratulations! I get paid to write and sometimes it can be really awesome, but being paid to write whatever you want? Now that is truly impressive! Way to go!

And you were correct the first time, that is big news! I don't have kids so I've never read that blog, but if you're going to be writing over there I'll be sure to check it out occasionally. Don't forget to post a link.

Well, congratulations! That's great. I'll definitely check out the link once you post it.

How very cool! And what an ideal situation to make some money and stay at home. Plus the money will go farther than you think, considering that to make this money, you don't have to spend money on gas, lunches, new clothes or dry cleaning. It's all profit baby! Best of luck and I'll definitely check out the site as soon as the link is up.

Cool! And just for the record, I would read my kids "The Adventures of Fish's Boob". But only if you did your own illustrations. ;)

Congrats on the new gig, and I'll be sure to check you out over there.

Congratulations! That's great. And I'd come over to read it even if I weren't helping to keep them from stealing your shoes.

I know you're going to hear this a lot today but I just have to chime in with a big CONGRATS!

See! I knew it was writing. Yay. Now if only I could predict exam questions... Dammit.

But I'm really happy for you and excited that you got tapped for such an honor. You're such a great person and a really funny writer. Yay for Beth!

I got the "you suck" email that Rockstar Mommy got! So, I second that --congrats on not sucking!

I don't blame you for worrying, but I know you'll be fantasic and I'll definitely read.

Break a ... keyboard!

WHOHOOOOO! Sweet! Way to go. :-) Looking forward to checking out your yammerlings over there. :-)

you say yammering I say yammerling....

It's Monday...

YAY! Can't wait.

That's fab! Congrats!

COngrats once again Beth!
great news!

and PS - I'd totally buy your know.....because you're cool like that!


That is so great!!! I am proud of you and really, really happy too!
About the pregnancy thing. You never know...

Wow, well done you and congratulations!

Yay, Beth! It is so cool that you are getting paid to write. Everytime I start to feel a tad bit jealous over all this ClubMom-ness and the good opportunities whatwith writing about the babies and all, when I start thinking, hey I COULD DO THAT - then I remember.

I am not a Mom! Duh!

If they have a spot for "Woman who Is Not Pregnant, Better Not Get Pregnant Until Husband has a Real Live Job, but Who Constantly Anticipates Having A Baby" let me know. ;)

Congratulations! That is HUGE news and of course I'll come by regularly.


Congrats! Way to go! Maybe the book deal comes later.
Although, I'm not a Mom, you make me feel like one of the group.
Thanks for sharing.


Beth, I'm so glad you were able to secure that gig with ClubMom. I'll read! I promise!!!

Thats awesome, did they hunt you down or did you apply for the job?

Woo hoo hoo! Super! Fantastic! Congratulations!

The pregnant thing? Not funny. I was like, "She said she wasn't earlier!" You really had me going.

I think this is an awesome opportunity!!

Can I get paid to blog?

That is great news! Congratulations, and I will definitely be a frequent visitor :)

Woo hoo!!! Congrats, congrats, congrats! Officially and publically - congrats! I cannot wait to see your new blog and read what you have to say. And to be paid to write whatever you want. Paid to do what you love. As a friend recently said to me - that is the American Dream!

Have fun with it. How exciting! Yay!

That sounds like a great deal, definitely will read you over there!

Woot! That is awesome! My kids are all growed up so I don't even know what this ClubMom thing is that you speak of, but if they have the good sense to know that you don't suck, they must be okay!

What a great gig. Staying home with The Mia Bean and getting paid to blog about it! I'm not even remotely jealous! And I never lie about that kind of thing. Never. Ever. Only sometimes. ;-)

Well they should be paying you in buckets of cash to write more! I am so excited to read more of you!

Just very cool Beth...Congrats. Being paid to write is just awesome...look forward to checking it out once you give the link...excellent job!!!

Fantastic! I can't wait to get the link! This is the 3rd time today I've heard about ClubMom. I'll be watching for the link.

Not only will I show up to the new blog, but I plan on wearing a dress to it.

YAY! for you ;) boy, this whole "internet mommy" phenomenon has really taken off and created some fabulous opportunities. what fun!

cool beans!

clubmom seems to be really gearing up. i read on someone else's blog that she too is going to be writing for them. that rocks. anytime someone can get for blogging, i'm all for it. i hope amid all the fretting and worrying, you also enjoy the experience.

Great news - congratulations

beth, that's amazing.
i'm so happy for you.

I knew it!!! :) Just think of all the bon-bons you'll be able to afford now that you're getting cold hard cash. Heck, you could even afford to buy ME bon-bons... and we could sit and eat them and watch Soap Operas all day long... in our PJ's... because, of course, that's what us mothers do! :)

Leaving lurkdom to congratulate you on your happy tidings. You have a unique (funny & straight-forward) voice and w/out a doubt will be a hit in your new venture.

*sniff Sniff*

I'm so happy for you! - don't forget us little people:-)

Yay! That's really awesome. I'm sure you'll do excellent. When do we get the link? :)

Congrats on the writing gig.

Congrats! It seems like most of my favorite bloggers have gotten gigs over there so I'll have twice as much to read! Woohoo!

(I guess that also means I'll get less work done, but oh, well. I'll survive. And I'll be entertained.)

Congratulations! I'm passing out from sheer envy.



I promise I'll read it. Maybe the pediatrician will too.

Be proud of yourself!!


Congrats! That's fabulous news!!! Looking forward to your contributions to clubmom! :)

Congrats on the writing gig! They made an excellent choice.

That is so cool BETH!! congrats to you!

COngrats Beth!! (and she pats herself on back for being one of the people who guessed correctly!)

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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