Hi. I have a rash. Cool, huh? It is an odd rash, so odd that I went to the doctor to have it peered at and diagnosed. And now, since I'm bored, I'm going to give you clues and the first person to figure out what I have will win a prize. Unless nobody plays, in which case the first person to bother to guess something that isn't disgusting will win a prize.
I'll try to do this so you can find the answer by asking Dr. Google, but I must point out that if you do get the answer from Dr. Google the images that you will find look considerably worse than I do. I want it on the record that, so far at least, I have a rather mild and not at all nauseating case.
Anyway, on with the hints:
My rash is fairly common, although I had never heard of it, and it is not contagious so you are all still free to make out with me as the need arises. It appears on the upper body, but not on the face.
In the early stages, it is sometimes mistaken for ringworm. Or syphillis.
There's not a damn thing you can do about it, except try to make it stop itching. (I don't itch much, woo-hoo.)
The spots usually form a certain pattern, which I am not going to describe because it is a google give-away. (Also, what the hell? I don't have nearly enough spots to form any pattern, but if I ever do you had better believe I am inflicting pictures of that on all of you.)
Ok, ok, fine. Here are some pictures to make it easier.
This is me:
Man, I sure wish I had hands. And feet.
Here's a artistic representation of my rash:
Also, I really should have brushed my hair first.
And here it is from the back:
Note that I have additional spots on my back, you can't see the spots on my front from the back. That would be weird.
Also, if you are a friend of mine from childhood who now happens to be a doctor, you are disqualified because that would be cheating. Also also, if you are my (ok, Mia's) hotty pediatrician, I think I need a second opinion. Why don't you stop by any time before my husband gets home at 4:00?