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And now for something completely different

I love Jen. I love her so much that if we weren't both already married I would kidnap her to Massachusetts and force her to marry me. (Hey, is that how you spell Massachusetts? I can spell Mississippi. See, Mississippi. Did I ever tell you about the time I spent a long family road trip forcing my younger brother to learn how to spell Mississippi? No? Well, that's pretty much the whole story, so let's move on.)

I love Jen because she sent me an email yesterday claiming that she has suddenly developed a lipgloss fixation and wanted me to answer some questions, but also I think possibly maybe it was at least partly because it is well nigh time for me to crawl the hell out of my own navel. Which it is! Sayonara, navel! Here are Jen's hard-hitting questions and my fabulous and enlightening answers. Please hold your applause and blatant hero-worship until the end.

1) Are you obsessed with only chapstick, or does this extend also to other lip products?
Only chapstick, although I own roughly 800 tubes of lipsticks, glosses and balms, my heart belongs to chapstick.

2) Do you ever use lip glosses? If you do, what kind?
Almost never. I once received a pack of six Bobbi Brown lip glosses that I liked pretty well, but I can no longer find any of them. I suspect they have gotten packed away inside various purses and as my current purse is a diaper bag (actually a beach bag from Target) I am unlikely to find them in the near future. I dislike lip gloss because it stays all wet and sticky and rubs off too easily so you have to keep reapplying so you have wet, sticky lips all day and my very long hair gets stuck in my lip gloss.

3) What kind of chapstick do you use? Do you ever get the flavored kinds?
Flavored? Blech! I occasionally get a variety pack and force Chris to take the cherry one out of my sight. I use either the good old original black tube or the light blue SPF 15 tube.

4) Have you tried the Burt's bees wax chapsticks?
No, that hairy old man scares me.

5) At any given moment, how many chapsticks do you have in your pockets, purse, etc.?
Let's see... one beside my bed, one in the bathroom, one by the computer, one in the nursery, one in the kitchen, one in my car, one in my purse and one in the diaper bag. So, eight?

Tell me the truth - you feel enlightened and strangely satisfied now, don't you? As I thought. Now, on with your days.

Comments (39)

ooh. I love Burt's Bees. :) It's all tingly and pepperminty. Chapstick IS the best, though. I like the flavored ones ('specially the mint, which is usually hard to find...and the cherry gives a hint of color.) very much.. so if Chris ever gets sick of the Cherry ones, you can send them to me ;)

God I have the same obsession, but I blame my mom for it, she too is an addict.
I have one in my office, bedroom, purse and bathroom but I have two or three in each room for different purposes.
All rooms have chapstick standard black, but also a burts bees, for really chapped days nad a napoleon dynamite vanilla one because it is yummy.
I also have a SPF BB in my purse and diaper bag, should I ever be stuck in the sun for too long.

um, yeah.

I too, am an addict. I admit it. My future hubby just doesn't understand why I must put on the chapstick (the black tube ONLY--no flavors here, blech!) every morning and every night. During the day, however, I use the Neutrogena tinted lip balm--it's like chapstick but with a hint of color--who could ask for anything more?

But doesn't Mia get them and play with them and try to take the lid off and then succeed and eat it and by the time you find her she's chapsticked from head to to and the only remedy is a long bath and lots of soap? Oh wait that's my Belle.

WOW! I'm a through and through lipgloss/lipstick/chapstick/lip balm/lip anything addict. Your answer about 800 or more tubes made me feel SOOOOO much better about myself(that is if you weren't kidding)...

When I was pregnant I developed an aversion to the medicated chapstick, which leaves a nice cool feeling on your lips.

But the best chapstick on earth is the blue spf 15 one.


Ok - can I show this to my boyfriend to prove there is someone worse than me??? Because I only have chapstick on my computer desk and in his bedroom.
Used to have it in my purse too, but I recently discovered Lypsyl and I think I am going to defect!

Oooh! I've tried the Burt's kind! It's actually not bad. Mine was tinted a little bit because I suck at remembering to wear lipstick, but it's pretty groovy stuff, actually.

Okay, I love Chapstick Medicated. Something cool about the tingly feeling of the chapstick.... *shrug*

I'm with Corinee. Medicated. All day.

Wow, my lips are tingling while I'm reading this, reminding me that I haven't put on my lipbalm yet today. Talk about Pavlovian.

I keep the Burt's Bees as my go-to lipbalm, as it stays on really well, and you get that good peppermint tingle from it, but I also have (currently) a Burt's Bees honey flavor, a Kiss My Face peach, one that's rose mint flavored, and an orange one. I like the non-petro-chemical brands. I'd say I've got at least 10 tubes at any given time, and that doesn't count the lipsticks and lip glosses and whatnot.

I do keep a special place in my heart, though, for Chapstick black, as it's what my grandfather used, and the smell reminds me of him.

Once I listened to Ally yell "I want Yips!" for about 10 minutes before I realized that she was trying to say "lips" which I found out meant chapstick. Grandma let her put some on. So now I have to hide my chapsticks and never apply in her line of sight.

I love the Burt's Bees in the raspberry shade - tingly and pretty at the same time!

Okay, I am relieved to hear I am not the only one but I am still far worse than anyone it seems. I keep my chapstick in my bra so it is ALWAYS with me(I'm not a pocket type person). I apply probably once an hour-2 hours. My 16 month old son has seen me pull my chapstick out of my shirt so many times he started pulling at the front of my shirt, grabbing my chapstick and putting it to my lips when he was 13 months old. He then went through a phase that everything belonged down mom's top and in the grocery store would procede to try to put groceries down my top.

Sad I know.

how do you feel about the medicated chapstick (light blue tube)?? it's the only one i use and i'm OBSESSED with it. of course, they don't sell it in Canada, and i'm forced to stock up when i'm in the states. no joke, i'll buy about 30 tubes.

also? i'm a HUGE fan of Mac lip gloss. it's the BEST.

I'm not a makeup person -- I rarely wear it, and that includes lipstick/gloss/chapstick. I think the last time I wore lipstick was at my wedding four years ago, and after that? It's fuzzy.

BUT. My friend from CO sent me this lip gloss think Bath and BodyWorks and it is TO. DIE. FOR. It's angel food cake and it's a touch sparkly and it doesn't wear off quickly or make me feel like I've lubed up my lips with Vaseline. And it looks HOT.

That's my plug for lip gloss. Carry on.

I am a cherry chapstick girl myself. Cherry only, so you can always pawn off your cherry tubes to me if Chris gets sick of it.

I don't like that lip gloss stuff either - the hair sticking to my lips thing is definitely annoying (and gross).

I think I'll put some cherry chapstick on right now

Oh gosh! I think you must be my daughter! I, too, have a chapstick fetish. I've got them all over the place. Ski bag, backpack, every pocket book I own, the table next to my chair, next to my side of the bed...well, you get the picture!

I applied Chapstick (fruit punch flava craze) while reading this post and comments.

Sadly, I have to watch what I use. I am very allergic to some ingredients, and my lips will actually swell and itch. It is not a pretty sight. I have passed this affliction on to my dear daughters, the poor souls.

Ohhh, all of you lip balm fans ... you need to check out the following website:


I actually wasn't kidding about the obsession. I have carmex, tinted burt's bees, and two shiny, petroleum jelly- type lipglosses in my purse, along with one flavored chapstick, plus assorted chapsticks all over the house. They are all flavored because Santa brought everyone multiupacks of flavored chapsticks last year, and I am the only one who uses them.


Thanks for doing this post!! You rock!

You should try Burt's Bees it is great... I also like the body shop hemp kind.

I also have an obsession. I had it really bad in college and I decided to stop cold turkey - my lips hurt for a week, but I did it. However, I have now slipped back into my old ways..
next to my bed
at my desk at work
in 2 different work bags (just in case)

Mmmm, I love the peppermint Chapstick (not mint, but peppermint--has a red-and-white-striped wrapper/seal): tastes just like candy canes.

I like a lipstick that's got enough gloss (as opposed to pigment) that I can slick it on without worrying too much about liplines, or having it wear off in big flakes. But Beth is totally right that most glosses are sticky, and hair gets caught in it, and GROSS.

But I have two to recommend. I think of them as being somewhere in between lipsticks and lipglosses. One is Cover Girl Continuous Color, the SHEERS (black tube) (I like it in Sheer Berry). The other is Maybelline Wet Shine (teenagery lilac-pink tube).

I forgot to confess to my stash of Chapsticks: one in my pocket, two on my computer desk (in case one gets buried by clutter or falls on the floor), one next to the nursing chair, two in the bedside table, one on my bureau, one in the bin where I keep my lipstick, two in my purse--10 total. Plus about eight new ones in the closet, in case of emergency.

See, I'm the same way, but ONLY about Carmex. I cannot, cannot, cannot use Chapstick. I know - sacriligeous - but it just feels too waxy. How do you get past the waxy feel?

I knew a girl who was addicted to chapstick like that. It wasn't only an addiction, it was an illness. I don't like seeing grown women freak out over the loss of a chapstick.

I love you Beth but I must say that Blistex kicks Chapstick's ass any day.

Hey, I ALSO love Jen - we go way back (and she's how I found you). I'm afraid, however, that I must disagree with you on one point. Cherry Chapstick is really the only way to go in my opinion - sorry.

Fellow chapstick addict here as well.

I thought I died and went to lip moisture heaven when I found the cocoa butter chapstick from the body shop. You have to try some. It smells like chocolate, but it has no flavor! It's simply perfect.

I have always been addicted to chapstick too. The best was when I was a teen I had a chapstick necklace. I wore that thing for years because it was so convienient to have chappy around my neck so anytime I needed some I could just pop it off and apply! Did you ever have one of those?

You can blame Jen - yes, that Jen - for sending me here.

I love an in depth interview on such a serious subject.

I too love love love chapstick. I usually use Blistex. I love the flavoured ones, mostly the orange. I have them everywhere and never am without. I decided to try their spa ones and don't like them at all, they smell great but last for about 5 seconds after you put it on.

Carmex girl, here. I've tried other brands...really I have...but Carmex (despite the lack of SPF)is what feels the best.

wow...I feel like getting me some chapstick. I've tried all sorts of lip balms--from blistex to SoftLips. I guess I'll give this one a try....The cherry one's good, though, because it gives you some colour, no? (It's been a long time...).

I feel less like a Chap Stick freak.... ;)

Chaptick Lip Moisturizer? Smells faintly of vanilla? LOVE IT. I have 3 tubes at the house now - that means I'm running low and MUST go stock up.

OH! I feel SO MUCH better! I am also addicted to Chapstick (mostly cherry, but also strawberry and mint). Applied religiously throughout the day! I DO NOT like the original (black tube), medicated, or spf15. But, I feel better knowing that I'm not the ONLY ONE! I know someone has already staked a claim on your discarded cherry's, but you can pass a few my way, too!

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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