so the fish said...
  home links archives about contact

« Notes from Thursday | Main | My own private Benjamin »

Bitches

Mia loves the pool, as I've mentioned, but she can be sort of a terror while we're there. She doesn't mean to be, she's just really friendly and loves to go up to everybody and say hello and then steal toys from the other children. Whenever she does this, I ask both the mother and the targeted child to let me know if Mia bothers them so I can move her, and I always offer the other child Mia's toys to play with as compensation. (Mia hates her own toys - at least, she hates them until someone else is playing with them and then they are the coolest things she has ever seen.)

Some of the moms are pretty nice and coo at Mia and chat a bit with me. Quite a lot of the moms are cool to me but friendly to Mia, which is fine. I'm not looking to be bestest buddies with every mommy at the neighborhood pool, so as long as they are sweet to Mia they can flip me the bird for all I care. (Well ok, that might tick me off a bit.) Then there is the final group, the bitches.

The bitches ignore me, which I don't care about, and ignore Mia, which I take very personally. Mia will be there, bouncing at their feet in her little inner tube (the bitches are invariably ensconced in those short pool chairs working on their tans), trying her chubby best to make friends, and they totally ignore her. They also ignore me when I offer to move her, or tell me not to bother. Either way, it seems to me that they have agreed to have here there, in which case, SAY HELLO TO MY KID, BITCH.

The same thing used to happen at this pseudo-playgroup thing I went to. Mia would be making the rounds checking out all the carseats (which fascinate her, provided she isn't strapped into it) and would invariably crawl into some other mom's lap. I would apologize, offer to move her, and they would tell me no, no, she was just fine. And then, they would ignore Mia entirely. I don't even mean ignore her to tend to their own kids, which I would get, I mean just flat out ignore. I don't get it. I offered to move her, you declined, so once again, SAY HELLO TO MY KID, BITCH.

I stopped going to the pseudo-playgroup thing (it's right at naptime anyway), but Mia likes the pool so I have been forced to come up with another solution. The straps of Mia's inner tube hold water and you have to tilt it a certain way to empty them out. So, when we run into one of the snotty bitches who is too good to even acknowledge a baby who is desperately trying to make friends, I make sure to walk past her on our way out and tilt the inner tube just so right over the top of her head.

Then I toss a clearly insincere "oh, sorry" over my shoulder and go home pleased that, in some small way, I am socking it to the bitches.

I should have mentioned this happens at the baby pool, so, you know, I assume everyone there is expecting to interact with babies.

Comments (43)

And this is the exact reason I love the Fish!!!!

The pools here in Reston have their fair share of snobs, but what gets me is that during break, when the older ones are supossed to be out of the water, will always come into the baby pool. Where are the bitch moms then? Why ignore the 8 year old splashing wildly with 1 yr olds? Im usually there with my pack of little ones and my 8 yr old knows that he cant play in there if other kids are in there. How hard it must be for those other moms to get a grip with their nose in the air...

OH that would totally piss me off too- I get the same way when someone pushes my lovey doggie aside... especially people who HAVE a dog... would it kill you to acknowledge her???? Children and Pets love unconditionally... too bad some adults forget that!

Thanks you for this post. I feel the same way about people not acknowledging my kid. Except I force it on them and Keeping saying "Say Hi to the nice poeple max" over and over again until they actually will say hi.

Community Pools....arent they just wonderful? Kill those bitches with kindness, and remember karma is a bitch....they will get theirs.....

You're awesome!

We're most likely moving back to the area in a month or so...if I see you at the pool, and Mia comes over to say hi to Camille? I would feel so lucky!!

I HATE when this happens to me!

I had those same bitches at my kids gym class.
Needless to say we didn't return

I wrote about the pool this week too...

I so heart you today.
It's also fun to buy the spray sunblock, you know SPF 90 and spray the baby right next to the Gotta-get-the-perfect-tan-bitches.... I love to see them go all anal about washing it off and then reapplying their cookmeI'maraisin lotion again...only for me to do it again.. oh they eventually move, and you'd be surprised how you can get where them flying you the bird is like an award.

Kisses.

How can anyone ignore sweet and adorable Mia? She looks irresistable to me. I'm sure if she were bouncing at my feet I'd want to scoop her up and hug her. I would certainly say hi.

I love your inner tube solution. Subtle, yet effective payback.

I have to say, I like your strategy. I'm loving the sunblock one too - that is priceless!!
Do these women even have kids? Something must be genetically wrong with them if they can resist Mia's overwhelming adorableness - it's just wrong.

Bitches... seriously, HOWWWW can you ignore the precious Mia? like, HOW?!?!?!?! It baffels the mid!!! Maybe you should come to my pool, as there are NO mothers at my pool, making it thoroughly SUCK when the foreign lifeguard stares at my fat ass while I try to entertain a lil' baby all morning... *sigh* when can I move in over there!?!?!

Oh good grief - fire would shoot from my eyeballs if I were in your circumstances! How could someone NOT say hello to Mia?
Whenever someone ignores my (polite) dog while she's desperately trying to greet them, I'm passive-aggressive and call out "C'mon, Suki, they're too busy". Invariably, Suki stares for a while longer, then makes a loud huffing sound before walking away. Good doggie.

Beth, you are my hero. Seriously.

LOL. We're so antisocial we don't even go to a public pool...I've got one of those above ground quck-set pool thingies you can get at costco. The only bitch at my pool is me! ;-)

Thats just horrible! Dont let the bastards get you down! Make sure this does not turn you into a pool-dropout. You guys have fun and ignore everyone else too.
Frankly I dont know how anyone can IGNORE a baby/child. I can barely keep my hands to myself when I see a baby in the 20 feet radius vicinity and if it were Mia, I'd prolly snatch her fron you and eat her up...Oops have I gone too far?

Oh Beth, I love it!!! It bothers me too when people ignore/don't say hi to my son. He's a little kid (and a darn cute one too) and all he wants to do is make friends. I don't know how you can be rude to a child. People have no manners.

Jean

I don't have kids yet, but I think I'd be pissed too! I LOVE the sunblock idea! :)
And, I always say "hi" to kids who are being friendly (even the weird ones who just stare)! It always makes me smile when the kid turns to his/her parent and says "That LADY said HI to ME!" Hubby's not quite as friendly, but I imagine he's a little more cautious since kids are literally DRAWN to him (have had complete strangers' kids run to him and hug his leg)!
Maybe you can teach Mia how to SPLASH!! That ought to get their attention?!

Do they not have EYES? Can they not SEE this kid? I don't understand how they aren't captivated and compelled to coo and say nice things to her.

May their hair turn green (providing it's bleached and the pool is over chlorinated)!

I want to follow in your footsteps and handle those kind of situations with similar grace and aplomb. Awesome!

This is why you are my hero, Beth.

I so want to be your pool buddy right now...is that wrong of me?

I dunno...they might be bitches, but maybe (esp. if they have older kids) they just aren't very in tune with babies. I know I'm not. If I saw Mia at the pool, I would think she was adorable, but I might not interact with her.

rather than *asking* if you should move her, you should just move her. not everyone is a baby/small child person - it's no knock on you or your daughter. and this is coming from one of those "bitches" at the pool!

Good for you!!! We had a similar problem when my oldest daughter Grace was an infant and in a playgroup only it was with the leader of the playgroup. I guess because Grace was a late bloomer (she started crawling at eleven months and walking at fifteen months) she wasn't worth her time to interact with. I only wish we had had some water to casually spill on her, I mean really what does that say about your character to ignore a child. Needless to say after our session was over we didn't sign up again and found other avenues to entertain our child.

It probably doesn't surprise you that I worry that I talk to kids I don't know, that their mothers will worry that I'm a sneaky kidnapper and that one day someone will give me an evil glare and drag their kid away or at least move to the next register line. I always say hello to babies and kids, but HELLO I DO LIKE THEM. Unless they're screaming. Then I just smile at the parent sympathetically.

Anyway, that said, it may NOT be personal that these ladies aren't acknowledging Mia. Of course they're crazy and there's several of us that would you know, pay good money to play peekaboo with Mia, but you know, some people truly aren't baby people.

Also, do you guys have a baby pool at home? I'm assuming you have a backyard here but that may let Mia have water time without the booger mamas. Invite another baby over, with a mama you like, and happy splashing for everyone. I know the GBK adored all her kiddie pools and they are really affordable.

I can't stop laughing. That is just great. I talk to all babies....so please don't dump water on me. Ok, thanks.

Plus yours, I would have to squish...an um....try to steal. :)

Dude, of course they ignore you. They hate you. How would you feel if you had to deal with the most beautiful child the world has ever know, a child far more gorgeous than your own, being all sweet and cherubic to you while her mother, who has the most smokin' ass you have ever seen, the ass you starve yourself to have but never will, is all friendly and happy to you? They are just jealous. Pity them.

okay...not being all googly-woogly over a baby like Mia is just wrong on so many levels.

i'm not always the friendliest of people to strangers (this the reason everyone and their mother thinks i'm bitchy even though sometimes i'm jsut shy) but if i see a cute baby...i'm a super huge pile of mush. and i like to eat toes. so watch out!

So, um, this post? I guess this is why you'd rather not tell your mom about this blog. ;-P

Also, I'm the potential sneaky baby-napper by the pool -- or at the market, etc. -- without any kids of my own, so I can't understand those no-baby-appreciation freaks. I like to comb out my hair near them and ooopsbyaccidentohmygoshsosorry spray the water from the comb and the hair all over them. The inner tube solution is way better.

What is with those people? I often end up with a kid (not mine) in my lap at the park and I can't help but say hello, make faces and then spend the remainder of the time with my hands in their hair. I love baby heads. I love baby hair. Cannot stop touching it.

How do they resist?

I'm friendly but careful around other people's kids. I smile at the parent first.

If they're okay with their baby on my lap I certainly am.

As for the bitches, ignore them. They're not worth your time and energy.

Aw. That's so unfair! I would definitely say hi to Mia, and also make silly faces and cooing noises. Because I can't seem to resist that.

Yeah, I hate those types too. They bug me. And this happens with my "dog" btw. (sorry another dog analogy). But these people act like Greta (dog) is a poisonous snake or something. Come on, it's a lake and she is a little dog. (18 pounds) and they said it didn't bother them, so forget it. I just tell Greta, "sick-em!

You're the best, Beth. Good for you for listening to your inner avenger! Go get em, girl!

In all fairness, not that I promote ignoring cute children that crawl into my lap (especially since usually the only cute child crawling into my lap is my sister's baby, and I'm pretty sure she'd take it personally if I ignored him), but if a baby crawled into my lap that I didn't want there, even if the mother offered to remove the kid, I would never say "yeah, would you mind? I'm a cold, cruel hearted bitch who doesn't like children, despite being at the baby pool". I would say that it's totally fine. I wouldn't have to say those words because my ignoring the baby would say it for me. So even though they say "It's fine, leave here here", it probably means "I'm too embarassed in my own bitchiness to tell you to take this thing off of me."

They're just jealous of you because Mia is too cute for words! I also really like the inner tube and the sunblock ideas.

I don't know how people like that exist. Of course I'm one of those people that will make an idiot of myself in the grocery store just to get some kid sitting in a cart to smile. Which doesn't always make the mother happy I might add - I worry sometimes that the mother thinks that I'm eyeing her kid just so I can swipe him out of the cart and make a bee line for the exit. I'm just trying to make your child smile for crying out loud!

I usually lurk but I had to comment on this. I have a son who is Mia's age (born July '05) and he is really social. I don't have pool experience but there have been quite a few times in the grocery store or a restaurant when my son will be waving to someone like crazy and grinning and cooing and they IGNORE HIM!!! HOW CAN THEY DO THAT?? I don't think a cursory smile or wave would be asking too much. I just hate it. Can you tell this is a sensitive issue for me? Thanks for posting this.

I agree with this absolutely 1000%. Abso-fucking-lutely.

Love it! I guess it shouldn't be surprising that those high school bitches don't really grow up--they just have babies!

Women like that don't usually seem very tuned in to their own kids, either.

I know if Mia swam up to me, you'd have to pry me away from those cute widdow baby cheeks. I mean, really.

I so just hate going to the story book hour at the library for that same reason. Snotty ass bitches, who don't acknowledge my two cuties. Well, "F" You! I talk to every lil tot, and have fun to boot. It makes the uppity mommies so mad.

There are several earlier comments I agree with, plus another point I'm going to make.

"rather than *asking* if you should move her, you should just move her. not everyone is a baby/small child person - it's no knock on you or your daughter. and this is coming from one of those "bitches" at the pool!"

I so so agree with this. Don't ask; simply move her. Also, I think some women are afraid that they will be expected to entertain Mia. Perhaps they wouldn't mind interacting with her for a minute or two, but are afraid that you wouldn't get the hint after that and they might end up having to tell you to take her away.

I also wondered why you don't get her a baby pool...

And regarding the "lovey" dogs (this is directed to two of the commenters) - please, KEEP YOUR SLOBBERY DOGS AWAY FROM PEOPLE THAT DON'T KNOW THEM. I don't like dogs, and I really don't like dogs not on leashes (there is a leash law here). I'm tired of hearing, "Oh, he is just being friendly." SO WHAT. It's still annoying to someo people to have their crotch sniffed and to be jumped on. Folks, PLEASE KEEP YOUR DOGS UNDER CONTROL!

I guess Im a horrible snob so I hereby apologize if I hurt people's feelings.
Truth is, unless a child actually waves or says hi Ill probably ignore them even if they are climbing all over me.
It comes from having 10 children in your house 24/7 (which I did when my older son was young).
There is a great picture of me in a store with a cousin, shopping for clothes. I have a child haning on my back, arms around my neck, one hanging from either arm, one hanging in front and three on my legs. The picture is funny because I am having a conversation with my cousin and seem completely unaware of the children hanging from me.
Having a lot of kids around I guess I just assume that they are not interested in talking to me (especially if they are not verbal).
I can also have nothing to say to anyone moods - it doesnt matter how cute the person is.
So even tho it's not technically me I apologize for not taling with your child. I guess I thought the fact that I dont mind them crawling all over me showed that I liked them.
Now I feel like a horrid person.

Post a Comment


Remember personal info?

So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


World's Most Beautiful Child

IMG_1542M.jpg


World's Most Handsome Child

IMG_1571O.jpg


Other Important Things

Clive Owen

Clive Owen
Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend


RSS Syndicate this site (XML)

Design by Emily

© Copyright 2004 SoTheFishSaid.com.
All Rights Reserved.