People. People! I am distressed!
I am beginning to suspect that the hotty pediatrician may not be plotting to leave his wife and beg me to run away with him. We took Mia in for her 12-month check-up yesterday, and I spent the whole time carefully watching for a secret sign. You know, a look, a gesture, something that said "Amelia's mom, I long for you, ditch your husband and meet me out back in 10 minutes." I mean, of course I am planning to turn him down, but I feel like I owe it to him to at least listen to the speech that I feel sure he has been practicing in his head every since the first day he saw me. It would only be polite. But there was nothing. Nada. Zilch.
So now I'm wondering, what? What is it? Is it something I said? I mean, I brushed both my hair and my teeth before I went in yesterday and wore a clean t-shirt and my least-stained shorts. Maybe he didn't like my perfume, eau de sunscreen, chlorine and baby poop? Maybe he could tell that I ate a piece of birthday cake for lunch? Am I just not MILF-y enough for him? Has he transferred his affections to one of the moms who haven't been wearing the same nursing bra every day for the past year? I just don't understand.
But you know what I noticed? He sort of has a screechy voice. And I don't think I like his glasses that much anymore. And I'm pretty sure he was wearing the same shirt the last time we saw him, which means he just isn't making the effort anymore. Maybe I'll just forget about him. Yup, that's it, that's what I'll do. Why waste my time on one hotty pediatrician when there is a whole station full of firemen just half a mile from my house?
(Hey, do you think he just didn't want to give us away in front of Chris? Maybe he's waiting and he's going to call me later and pretend he is calling about Mia? Do you think?)