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I'm going to complain a lot

Chris is back from the great midwest, which is good. What? You thought I was in the great midwest as well? Ah no, my friends, no I was not. That was just a bit of misdirection to hide the fact that Mia and I were home alone so you would not all come hide in my bushes waiting to pounce and make out with me as soon as I left the house. It appears to have been very successful as nobody has made out with me in days.

Anyway, yesterday I noticed that my site was all screwed up, so I contacted my host and said "dudes, my site is all screwed up." And they said, "can you be more specific?" So I restated my original request exactly, and then they said "oh, now we get it." So then they emailed me to say it was fixed, only no, it wasn't. And then they emailed me again to say it was fixed, only no, it wasn't. And then they emailed me again and this time actually got half of the problem fixed. Progress! When I mentioned that 50% was a nice start but I was hoping they would fix the whole thing, they told me I had to have my domain registrar fix the rest of the problem, to which I politely responded that a) that was utter bullshit and b) my host is my domain registrar, so, you know, deal with it. Finally they fixed the second half of the problem and as an added bonus deleted three days worth of posts and comments. I am quite pleased, really.

Mia's on a nursing strike, which is nice in a way because I had forgotten what it felt like to try to sleep with rocks strapped to my chest, but now I've had my fun and really don't want to spend any more quality time with the breastpump, so Mia and I are going to have a little talk about getting back on the proverbial ball. Am considering a trip to the hotty pediatrician for this and the refusing to sleep and the constant screaming. Am sure there is nothing he can do for Mia, but it might make me feel better.

Finally, Chris and I met in Fredericksburg, Virginia. I have never been to Kenya nor fired a gun, although there certainly has been a time or two in the last 13 years when shooting him seemed like an excellent option. When I asked for questions last week (if that post still exists) I promised some honest answers and some bald-faced lies, yesterday, you got the lie. Still a good story though, no? Maybe it will be my first novel.

Comments (25)

There, there. You complain all you want 36 hours alone with a baby, who is on a nursing strike, rocks in bed with you, I mean how much can a girl take?

Too bad. That Kenya story? That was cool. It was making me feel pretty lame that Hubby and I met by a friend's smelly locker in high school. And that we reunited several years later, when, at a party, he spilled his drink in my shoe.

that, as you already know, is an awesome, awesome tale.

yeah, the Kenya story was cool. definitely a good story. however, i find it funny that i could actually imagine you accidentally shooting chris.

Yeah I saw the Mia Monday one day and then the next hour or so and it was gone. Are you going to report that?

'Tis the season for screwed up sites!
About that story being a lie, I knew it! Guess my comment that I posted to it was deleted, but I said that I've read Chris for long and all the stories about how you 2 started dating never included the Kenya and Elephant story. Nonetheless it was an amazing alternate reality...

You didn't shoot him?!

Awww... I missed a chance to stalk you? And right after that darn restraining order expired, too. I mean, uh... something nice, and not at all crazy.

My breasts hurt just reading that. I think a trip to the hotty pediatrician is definitely called for.

Dude, if I'd only known, I could have given you 20 minutes of sanity! :) But then again, you wouldn't walk away knowing you could do it, so I guess it's a good thing. Hope the nursing strike ends soon...

Say hi to the hot pediatrician! I think you should make a picture of him and post it here. It's not fair to keep him all to yourself!

Maybe she's weaning? That's how my kids did it. They just stopped one day. There was nothing at all gradual about it.

Maybe she was just protesting the absences of her daddy.

And I am so sad you did not meet in Kenya and shoot him. That, my friend, was a great story.

You had me fooled on both counts. I thought I had misunderstood something about the trip at first.


What's really hysterical was picturing you in Kenya with that gun.

Here I got all excited that there was finally some justice in the world and you go and tell me that you didn't actually shoot Chris. Thanks for destroying my hopes and dreams, Beth.

Uh-oh. Sounds like someone is weaning herself. My last one did that to me at 11 months (very shortly after he started walking). There was no gradual "let's just nurse morning and night for a while," just a cold-turkey refusal. I so wasn't ready!

Oh my god, you totally totally fooled me. On one hand, I am slightly mad and considering not making out with you AT ALL. On the other hand, I'm kind of glad that now I don't feel quite so lame for meeting my husband in college at a dining table and marrying him without a single shot being fired.

I wonder if Mia is weaning. My firstborn weaned that way: at around one year he went on what I thought was a nursing strike, and I patiently waited it out (continuing to offer at regular times, pumping to try to remove horrible painful boulders from chest) because I'd read the LLL stuff and knew this could happen for even a few days. But he got more and more vehement about refusing, and he never went back to it, which made me so upset. I eventually took him to the pediatrician, who said there was nothing she could do about it: that some babies just quit "cold turkey" like that.

I just re-read my own post and it sounds like I'm saying "Don't bother taking her to the pediatrician" when that's not when I mean. I was glad I went, because the pediatrician checked to make sure the weaning wasn't because of an ear infection or something like that, and gave me some reassurance, and also gave me some good advice about what to feed a non-nursing baby. Plus, Mia might not be weaning at all--another thing I didn't mean to sound like I was saying as I took a stroll down memory lane. Plus, in your case it's a visit to a hottttie, so there is no downside here.

I was pretty sure that you'd changed the story of the day you and Chris met, but was too distracted to go back and check the archives - yes, I've been reading you and Chris that long and I was like 'Kenya? I don't remember Kenya. I remember a college bathroom...'

Honey, hope you get the thing with Miss Mia worked out. Yeeouch, is what I say.

I think Chris once posted about the way you guys met. I thought it was a great story. And strapped to the chest...that's exactly what it felt like.

... and there's the GOTCHA.

Imagine how smart I'd feel if i read all the entries before commenting? :)

Hah! I knew it! I knew the story wasn't truth! it sad that I knew that? Does it mean I need to get a life or a blog or something??

Unsolicited sharing and, possibly, suggestion (I know you hate these, but...): I just weaned the monkey. We nursed for a year, and it was time. I knew it was time because she was less interested in the boob. She wasn't striking, but she wasn't asking--she was simply taking it when I offered it. Anyway, the most ideal situation for weaning is one in which both baby and mommy are ready. The monkey was ready. So, I went for it. I'm still recovering--boobs like rocks, yeah....But, I'm so happy that she doesn't miss them, wasn't traumatized, that we were both ready. I'm really not suggesting you wean her. That's such a personal decision. I'm just saying that weaning for us was a really good, easy experience because she was totally ready. I actually don't miss it at all. I loved nursing, but I was ready to call it quits.

Dammit. Why did I fall for that? I think I wanted to live vicariously through someone who had a ring made from a bullet.

Hate that Rocks on the Chest feeling! Maybe you'll get your body back soon, enjoy a few drinks on the weekend, etc?? lol

We didn't meet in Kenya? Crap. My memory's all screwed up!

just keep telling people you met in Kenya ... eventually the scar will appear and you'll have no recollection of how it actually happened ...

I just read a thing today that said that drinking two cups of sage tea per day can help with the rocks-on-the-chest thing. "SAGE tea"?? Sounds revolting. I remember reading long ago that antihistimines were good for that, too, but I'm not sure about that.

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So the Fish Said...

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