so the fish said...
  home links archives about contact

« Madeleines at Starbucks | Main | Talking about my butt again »

The tortoise and the hair

Yesterday, Chris posted a picture of his mullet. Now first, I want you to know that the mullet had left the building before I ever met Chris, or else I can assure you things would have gone very differently between us. Second, I now have a problem. You see, I have been threatening Chris with that mullet picture for years. Whenever we had a fight over something he had done (because obviously, I am the perfect wife in every way) I would tell him I was going to post that picture on the internet. Now that he's gone and done it himself, I need a new bargaining chip.

Third, I hate to be outdone. I don't have anything that can compare to The Mullet, but I did break out my old yearbooks and decided to share with you the Saga of the Bad Perms. Let's begin.

Here we are in seventh grade, a rollicking return to 1987, but pre-hott bangs from the previous picture.

This one really makes me cringe. Who in the hell let me do that to my hair, and who gave me that sweater vest and told me it was cool? This is clearly before I discovered the dual magic of the permanant wave and Aqua Net.

Eighth grade is mysteriously missing from the yearbook pile, you will have to extrapolate based on ninth grade.

This is from my Fluff Period. And also apparently from my fat horizontal stripes period. You have to admit, though, that it is an improvement from the "what died on my head?" bangs of the junior high era, previously documented.

Tenth grade, the fabulous Growing Out My Perm period, and thanks to the vagaries of the universe, a special color shot just for you.

I like how the combination of straight and curly hair gives it a nice two-toned look.

Eleventh grade, the beginning of my "arty" period.

Also apparently my "hair flip" period. That shirt was at least two sizes too big for me, but I loved it and wore it all the time anyway because it had a vaguely asian design including dragons that I thought was totally in keeping with my new, "arty" self. In fact, I think I still have that shirt. I should break it out, it was hot on me.

Finally, senior year.

Why yes, I did cut my bangs myself with a butter knife, why do you ask? This dates from right at the end of my good little girl phase (read, my whole life) and just before I embarked on a year or so of being all wild and crazy and doing super daring things like smoking and drinking some beer (ok, and some dumber stuff that we won't go into). I was wild! I was a rebel! I was, um, still a big dork and just didn't know it. And then I got bored and went back to being (mostly) a good little girl.

And with that, y'all, I have to confess that I am so bored with myself right now that I could just spit. I've just let myself get sucked into this miasma of molars and nearly-constant fussing and pleading with the kid to eat anything at all other than cheerios and now biting just for fun and variety, and I don't see any way out except to keep on trudging through and hope the end is near. Meanwhile, everything I write reads like a shopping list to me and I haven't had a remotely creative thought in weeks. So, I'm going to make you do the work. We'll do that old gag where you leave me questions and next week sometime I will answer them. Of course, being how I am and all, I will give some completely honest and accurate answers and the others I will create out of whole cloth. Get yours in early though, as I reserve the right to sink into a mild depression and stop answering at any point. (I'm kidding, kidding! About the depression, not about the not answering.) Sounds fabulous and super right? I thought so, now go!

Comments (45)

We are the same age so I know just how terrible those middle school bangs were in the 80s.

Freakin 80s!

I try and read your blog daily, as well as chris's. You two are certainly entertaining, its great :) Mia is so beautifull as well. Can't say i have any questions for you to answer, sorry. But I am happy to be the 2nd person to leave a comment cause usually you have atleast 30-40 comments already. Do you read them all? Take care!! Keep up the great entrys.

When are you having baby #2? Isnt that just the BEST question ever? Especially this week?

i need a good story, my days are pretty sad lately. and if you have already written about it, please forgive. how did you and chris meet, and how did he propose?

Yay, I'm glad you posted your yearbook pics. They're all very cute.

The 80's were just a bad, bad decade for hair. I was looking through my old pictures yesterday, and realized that since I just have the snapshots and not the yearbooks, the worst of my mall bangs and frizzy perms are safely hidden at my mother's house. Whew!

Hmm, questions... I'll keep it in the hair theme and ask: Did you ever got into dyeing your hair (either wacky colors or humanly possible) in college?

At any point in your life, have you ever consider tatoos, and if so, what and where?

how is it that you have a smokin' ass? does that come naturally? or do you have to work at it?

heehee to That Girl's question.

Don't worry mine looked pretty bad too. I was into that ratting my bangs till they increased my height by about 5 inches and having spiral perms that looked like I had stuck my hand in the light socket. lol

What do you enjoy most about being a Mom???

Nice photos! I suddenly feel like having a look through my yearbooks...
What's your favourite flavour of ice cream? :)

Kristy McNichol!

i could so swap bad perm pictures with you. i had that same straight bi-level haircut which I took up a notch of horror by getting a perm. WTF?

i have a burning desire to pull out the old yearbooks. but, i'm slightly scared of what i might see.

bangs? check.
perm? check.
growing out perm? check.
horizontal stripes? check.
shirts that were too big? check.
vest? check.

oh my god, beth, we totally would have been best friends!!

If you should ever be so lucky to be in your house alone again, what would you do?

My husband is out of town and the kid spent the night with her grandparents, so yesterday morning I was alone. I didn't have much time, but I did get to enjoy a long shower, uninterrupted breakfast, and got to look in the mirror the whole time I was putting on my makeup. Not to mention the dancing in my panties to the music I blared throught the whole house. I was late to work and it was fabulous. :)

How did you know Chris was the one? (if you believe in the one, if not, why did you decide to marry him?)

My Important Questions: (take pity on me, I am mildly depressed)

1. Will you please come over and clean my apartment?
2. Will you please cook dinner for me?
2 1/2. Will you please wash the dishes afterwards?
3. Will you please run to the store and get diaper wipes for Daya and toilet paper for me, because I'm out of both as of this morning and we're in a heat wave people so going outside is Not Fun......? Oh, I am out of salt, too. If you could pick that up also it would be fabulous.
4. In return for this you can choose one (or more) of the following:
A. I will make out with you for as long as you want and do whatever you want!
B. Take you down to the local firehouse which is just a few blocks away from me...NYC Firefighters!!!
C. Have the NYC Firemen personally deliver a whole gross (144 count) of spf 15 chapsticks to your door!
D. I will clean your bathroom sparkling spotless and not ask any questions about anything. I'll even wash the rugs.

Pretty Please????

Butter knife butchered bangs aside, your senior year picture is beautiful.

Same age here as well and was so inspired by your photo series that I am scanning right now. So scary, those years. Others could learn a lot just by example. Like the photo of me wearing cut-off jean shorts and black tights. Yep.

Aw sweetie! You are just adorable! Between you and Chris I just know that Mia is going to blossom into an even more beautiful girl than she is right now. Is that possible???

These pictures are no where near as bad as Chris' mullet & earring picture. Not even close.

I was wondering is the necklace you are where in the picture with Callie as a kitten the same one you have on in your senior picture? I think Mia will have your eyes.

Why did you choose to live in DC area? Would you ever consider moving; if so, where to?

Someplace I have school pictures of me

Scary what we thought was cool back then.

I like your senior pic the best.

No questions - I'll just keep reading. I'm in one of those vacuums lately too.

Each year was like a whole new person. I mean, how can you have so many drastically different hair styles? I love it.

(My Mom never let me get a perm and I was so mad at her. Now I thank her.)

My question?? Hum...

Let's hear about your first school dance.

(Wait, is that a question? No, it's more of a demand. DO IT, now.)

Shopping list my ass. I read your leaving-Chris-for-firemen rant and hadn't laughed that hard in an age.

Ooh, I get to ask Beth a question!

Do you have anything on your Christmas list yet? If so, what?

Can you tell a story from your short lived rebellious period?

First of all, Christ TOTALLY called your bluff and took away the threat you had been using, so you're going to have to dig really deep and find something even more horrifying than the mullet to gaslight--er-blackmail--I mean--tease him with. (Something worse than ending a sentence in a preposition the way I just did....I know, I's going to be difficult). This is your mission, should you choose the accept it.

Jeebus! Did I just type Christ? I'm SO going to Hell now. I MEANT Chris, of course. *nervously waiting for the lightning strike*

I love the transition from clearly-80s to clearly-90s style in your photos. I'm three years younger than you (based on year of 7th grade), so thankfully I was too young to ever really get into mall bangs, but every other style up there (hair flip, perms, big shirts) was on my list of "OMG IwantIwantIwant!!!!!)

I was so ashamed of my 7th grade picture that I actually pasted a piece of construction paper over it in my yearbook, and now it is lost forever, which is too bad, because objectively speaking, I think 7th grade I probably fit the societal standards of "beauty" more than I ever had at any other point in my life. (Self-loathing is one thing I am GLAD to have outgrown.) So my question: What age are/were you that you felt prettiest/most attractive/most confident, and why so?

You would have been SO popular at my school. Considering the times, I think your styles were the least hideous of the possibilities. Seriously. If my school pictures looked like that, I'd have them permanently posted on my sidebar.

Love the pics! Here's my question since we're talking high school. What did you want to be when you were a senior in high school?

Hey, I think I had that same 11th grade shirt! But mine was black on white. Oh, and I believe it came with matching stirrup pants. I was all asian/graffiti and I was cool, baby! ... ummmm, or not.

That's it. I've got no questions for you today. Love the pics. Thanks for sharing.

Amy :)

hey SHUTUP- my bangs look like that right now! lol.

3 questions: When do you think Mia will have her own blog?

Do you and Chris blog together, like, in the living room? (that's how I picture it!)

How long do you spend reading/writing blogs and comments, etc., per day? And, as a stay-at-home-mom, when do you do it? (I'm trying to figure this all out myself--my computer's in my living room, and I'm thinking I need to totally shut it down during the day--until the Monkey goes to sleep? The internet is addictive!!).

Love the pics and your captions by the way--LOL!

I'm fudging here by giving you five questions that a friend gave me in May:

1. Is it more essential to develop beliefs or gain knowledge?

2. Which vice would you like to indulge in if it carried no risk?

3. Is there only one soul mate for each person?

4. Who are your role models?

5. Would you rather be smart, athletic or good-looking?

How are those?

Want a whole bunch-o-questions to answer? I tagged you. Feel free to join in or completely disregard as you see fit. :)

You graduated in 1993, right? We had almost the same hair issues, and clothing too! It's spooky. Did you wear Esprit shirts and stirrup pants? Maybe I'm alone there...but how horrified are you that the zipper ankle pants are back? I saw some in a store and (almost) had a really bad flashback to my tortured middle school years. Anyway, your hair is hot(t) now, so that's all that matters, right?

Your not-Benjamin story was so evocative, I would love to hear more stories about past loves and past crushes. Oh, wait, that's not a question. I mean, "Other than not-Benjamin, have you had any crushes/loves other than Chris?"

Have you always lived in the NoVA area? If not, where else have you lived? How did you end up choosing MWC to go to college? What was your major? Did meeting Chris destroy your GPA?

How old were you when you lost your virginity and what was the name of the first man you had sex with? And heavy petting doesn't count. :)

I got a perm one time when I was very young that made me look like a poodle. ONG I hated that!

What happened to half of the pictures? I am not brave enough to show on the internet my evolution (or devilution, as some may say).

Post a Comment

Remember personal info?

So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

World's Most Beautiful Child


World's Most Handsome Child


Other Important Things

Clive Owen

Clive Owen
Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend

RSS Syndicate this site (XML)

Design by Emily

© Copyright 2004
All Rights Reserved.