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Boobs!

First, wow, you people have a lot of porn. I don't have any porn and I am starting to feel a little left out.

Second, fine, ok, let's just talk about my boobs and get it over with, and then I think I am going to make it my mission in life to not mention my boobs on the internet for three entire months. I think I can do it, I mean, I used to never write about my boobs. It may be a hard habit to break though, so you will have to keep me honest.

Mia self-weaned a few weeks ago, sadness and woe, hurty leaky boobs making sleeping unpleasant, etc. etc. blah blah blah. Since she stopped nursing, I have noticed some changes. For instance, I no longer eat as much as an entire football team at every meal and my hips/butt combo seems to have shrunk. I don't know what that one has to do with breastfeeding, but I do know that suddenly, I can fit my smokin' ass into Mia's little play chairs.

The other thing is that my boobs are gone. Not that they were ever much to write home about anyway. I had heard all these stories about women who kept their big breastfeeding boobs and other women whose boobs got a lot smaller, so I was curious to see what would happen. At first, I thought I had ended up about where I started, but then I started to think I was maybe a little smaller, and I suppose the truth is that I just don't remember. I mean, it's been nearly two years since I've seen my regular boobs - some of the details have gone a bit blurry.

I asked Chris if he thought my boobs were smaller than they were before I got pregnant, and his mouth said "no" but his eyes said "DANGER! DANGER! MUST NOT BELITTLE THE BOOBS OF THE WOMAN WITH HER KNEE MERE INCHES FROM MY UNPROTECTED GROINAL AREA," so I suspect he may have been lying to me. I'm really curious to know though, just for posterity or something, and it got me to thinking about how I could find out for sure.

This is the part where we talk about the most embarassing thing hidden in the deepest darkest recesses of my closet. Actually, it is the third most embarassing thing. The first two things we have already talked about - my high school yearbook pictures, which I posted, and my huge black binder filled with bad, adolescent poetry and cricket carcasses (and how cool would it be of the plural of 'carcass' was 'carci'). The fact is that I have an excellent resource to determine whether my boobs used to be bigger. In fact, I have photographic (actually, polaroidic) evidence.

Oh come on, like you never. (Well, ok, some of you never, but not all of you.)

I'm not embarassed that the pictures exist (although I have on several occasions tried to determine the best way to destroy them... fire? shredder? warm acid bath?). The thing is that I always blink in pictures, and these are no exception, so not only are they not the type of picture I want to appear on the dust jacket of my first novel, they are just bad pictures to boot. Humiliating. I can't even get naughty polaroids right.

Anyway, I started thinking that I would dig them out and see once and for all if my boobs used to be bigger. And then I realized, I was probably 20 or 21 at the time, and if there is anything I don't need to see at 31, it is myself at 21.

Here endeth the boobage. You should all go index your porn collections, or something. Perverts.

Comments (34)

Wow - so you are saying that I should destroy all those "my bod will never get better looking than this" nudie photos from when I was 20? I always assumed I'd want proof of past pseudo-hottitude.

Ok, I'll settle this again, send me the polaroid and I'll determine if they are bigger/smaller/higher/lower etc.

Actually, pregnancy is very interesting in how it treats women. Well, interesting may not be the best word. I think a man finds his wife more attractive after she gives birth in the following months/years. As guys we like the huge boobs in the 2nd and 3rd trimester ( and isn't that just like hockey! ) but we can't touch them because they are sore and then they go away after a while.

I'm surpised you haven't said if your bra size changed. Oh and look in the polaroid you're going to send me and try to see the height of the nip in relation to the armpit or some fixed point like the sternum. Then, gasp, go meansure yourself in the mirror.

Who knows you may look better.

Glad you can fit in Mia's chair.

~Jef

I'm so impressed that your appetite is less post-breastfeeding. When Raisin weaned, I just kept on eating - until I realized that those extra calories weren't getting used up anymore....

As for the boobs -- I guess you'll just have to get pregnant again (AND TELL THE INTERNET ABOUT IT!). :)

You don't have any bras from more than two years ago hiding in a drawer anywhere? I have some bras that I should have gotten rid of a LONG time ago.

When you mentioned always blinking in pictures, I had a mental picture of
Earl from "My Name is Earl" in his birthday suit - so not cool.

I didn't breastfeed successfully, which I'm still peeved about, but my boobage area is quite different now than it was to begin with. For one, I actually have boobage. And for two, my boobage sags.
At 21 years old, my boobs sag. Thank you, pregnancy gods, for upgrading me from an A to a DD then back to a B in a little over 6 months.

In regards to the naughty photos, I have to admit, I'm REALLY good at em. Then again, I'm a ham. I see a camera, I'm in front of it. I should have gone into porn... but alas, modesty prevents such things. But, I can admit honestly that in those naughty photos, I am SMOKIN. Hahaha, but nevertheless, the will not see the light of day.

um. yes. boobs are gone.

before pregnancy #1: 34D
after nursing baby #3: 32b.

they are gone. but the good news is that they won't ever sag to the floor. and i have mastered the art of pulling off the push up bra, so most people think i've got me a great rack. even though i have nothing of the sort.

I wonder how much money Polaroid lost when digital got popular? The only reason anyone would use a Polaroid in the past 15 years or so was because they didn't want the nieghborhood photo guy looking at naughty pictures. Now that everyone has digital, who needs Polaroid anymore?

Poor Chris. That was definitely a, "just kill me now" question.

I've been wondering the same thing - what's going to happen to The Girls now that we've weaned this week? Time will tell but post-pregnancy they're definitely a bit droopier. :( Doesn't bode well, does it?

Hmmm. Mine are the same size they were before. They did grow during pregnancy and after, but they shrunk right back down to their original size--now they just sit a bit lower.

I would think you would be glad to have those pictures! It means that whoever took them DOESN'T have them!

Boobs? Had some nice pert average ones.
After breastfeeding (quite haphazardly I might add) I now have bigger ones (but they do sag)
Was it worth it? I hope Dean got the best of whatever breastfeeding I could give him. Does my husband think it was worth it? Hell yea. He also says that my brain transferred down to my boobs though. Hhhmmmmm....
I think he is cut off.

Let's just say after BFing 3 kids, "perky" is no longer in my vocabulary. Sad really...

Finally someone else uses words like groinal! (I actually use crotchal, but same sort of idea!

I don't own any porn. Am I supposed to own porn? The closest thing I have to porn is a copy of the Story of O that I read in high school. Is there something wrong with me? Decidedly yes, I realize, but I mean in the no-porn-owning category, specifically.

Mine definitely got smaller. I know because I can no longer get away with wearing my old bras... which could hardly hold a grape anyway. I wonder if they make -A cup :(

Oh my gosh is Chris aware of all this boob talk?

Hmm, went from a 36DD to a 40-they don't make a cup big enough with the first kid. After three babies that nursed for 12-16 months each, I ended up a 38DDD/F but I think that was just because I was fatter in general--definitely less firm though. I've recently lost 30 pounds in just a couple of months...now THAT is a boobage deflator. Oh, and for the record, I never lost a pound in between the initial 'just gave birth' weightloss and weaning.
That said, my naughty pics are all digital! lol

WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S IT? You don't care about your naughty boob pictures but the big thing is YOU ALWAYS BLINK IN PICTURES?? How exactly does that compare to what other folks bared along with their souls! Might I direct your attention to some recently posted pics of you and Mia -all eyes wide open. Twinkling even. Prison time for littering or when you get the menu in a restaurant and you point to it and say 'yes'. That's embarrassing/humiliating.

My boobs were never anything to write home about either. But i do know that they are smaller now than they were before i was pregnant. Even while pregnant and the few weeks i breastfed, they never got huge. (a large B maybe a small C at the most)...So i didnt expect much. I even tried to not lose the last 10lbs of babyfat, so i could keep the boobs. I had real cleavage for once in my life and iwanted to keep it. even if it meant my pants didnt fit. But, having a great metabolism killed it for me. So now i am skinny, but FLAT as hell. So i suppose there's a trade off. I really dont care either way tho. At least i wont ever sag. ;) And as long as you are happy, and chris is happy with them, then its all good.

My boobs are still humungous....But they shrunk a little. And, like you, I'm eating a lot less. It's amazing. And, I don't have the same insane junk-food cravings....

I've never taken naked pictures of myself. No. But, if I did, now is not the time I'd go digging them up! ;)

I have boob pics too, but they are not in the closet. They are on the puter that blew up.

I learned that one should delete boob pics on digital camera before showing any pics that may be on said digital camera. Yeah, that was a hard one to explain to my daughter. She already has plans on putting me in a home somewhere far away.

Hmmm, I wonder if I have a copy of that pic somewhere. I also had a pic of another part of my body, but I won't say which part. Let's just say that it is way south of the boob area. :)

my ass is definitely smaller since I've been breastfeeding. I didn't know anyone else that this happened to, so I wasn't sure it was a cause/effect relationship. Thanks for clearing that up! :)

I'm a little worried that the girls will shrink below pre-pregnancy size when the baby is weaned... more because I don't want saggy boobs than anything else. But at least my husband works for Victoria's Secret and I get a discount!

Go check out your photos, how else will you know for sure. Yeah, you could check your bras, but nothing says evidence like photographs. Oh

Wow, I don't have any porn either.

I feel left out.

i don't have porn or dirty pics of myself. because i can barely stand to look at myself nekkid so why the hell would i want photographic proof of it...

however, i've lost weight over the last few months and instead of leaving my belly where i'd like it to go, it's left the boobs. without the bra, i'm sadly deflated and saggy. thank god for push up bras that make it look like i still have fantastic boobage. not enough can be said for the power of lift and separate...

I agree with Suze; I'm all about the Miracle Bras, but then I always have been.

I know I'm back to the same cup size I was pre-baby, but I've got two extra inches around the ribs, thanks to the extra poundage. *sigh* Couldn't actually go ON the boobies, had to go everywhere else.

Ok, today is all about boobies (you are Chris are neck and neck today)... support boobies at boobiethon.com for Susan G Komen Breast Cancer. On a personal note, I went from a B Cup from 16 to 25 then to a D cup and up to an E cup when pregnant and then down to a C cup after breastfeeding (woohoo). I guess the boobs just need to settle in. The fact that you can fit in Mia's chair? Jealous. I am SOOO jealous.

I wish my 21-year-old self could have seen a picture of my 36-year-old self. Then I totally would have worn the string bikinis I was so afraid of, and I would have worn really cool clothes and I wouldn't have whined about how "fat" I was.

Of course, my 21-year-old self probably would have committed suicide at viewing my 36-year-old self's photo, but that's altogether a different story.

so, are they the same size or not?

I have no idea where my boob size fits. I am currently pregnant with #2. I'm wearing 1 of 3 bras, but none fit quite right. Once this one is done with the breastfeeding, I'm going to go get me one of those fancy bra fittings.

I'm saving money for the bras now!!

oh Beth.
My sister (not Feffie) has had teeny tiny boobies her whole life. Then she breastfed a few babies.
And now?
NOTHING.
I mean it.
NO
BOOBS.
I got lots though

Firstly: if The Girls went back to normal size, consider yourself oh so lucky. I had to give my most favourite shirt EVER to my sister because it can't accomodate The Girls anymore. *WAILS* *SOBS*

Second: I took nudes of myself in college photography. And have often thought about digging them up to compare. Except I think I destroyed them a few years back, so I can't.

Wow, I'm feeling chatty tonight! :) And, you have some of the most "interesting" material of all my favorite blogs.
I can't imagine what my girls are going to do on that some-distant-day when I have a kid. Currently, I'm still trying to figure out why some days I fit perfectly into a C and other days I have to squeeze into a DD! And, being that size, they're already kinda saggy, so whatever. I would consider it a blessing to be a little smaller--at least it would be MUCH easier to find CUTE bras that FIT!

Just wanted to say: yay for boobs!

My wife's got smaller, and I liked them that way. They've not done that again with the second kid. We'll see.

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So the Fish Said...

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