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I hate firemen

Saturday afternoon, we started smelling gas in the house. We checked to make sure I hadn't left the gas running on the stove (we will not discuss how often I do that), but everything was turned off. We did locate the worst of the smell behind the stove, so Chris turned off the gas and we opened all the windows and doors to air it out.

Chris and I react to things a little differently. Chris was of the "abandon the house and all of our belongings immediately and move to another state to avoid the gas leak" school of thought, and I was of the "let's wait until we feel tired or sick" school of thought. In hindsight, I probably should have been closer to Chris's school than to my own, but in my defense the smell was not terribly strong, opening the windows helped a great deal, and we were having guests for dinner.

We finally called the gas company and they agreed to send someone out... eventually. When the second fire truck in 10 minutes pulled onto our street, we put that together with the fact that we had been hearing sirens every couple of minutes for hours and I went over to ask the neighbors if they were possibly having a gas problem. They were, and they weren't. Turned out that the gas company had added too much of whatever they add to make the gas stink and it was making people all over the county abandon their homes and call the fire department.

While I was chatting with the neighbors, one of the firemen (yum, firemen) came out and asked if I was smelling gas too. I said yes, so, ahem, four lovely, yummy, lickable firemen came over to check it out. Yup, you heard me, I had four firemen in full fireman regalia in my living room. Sadly, my husband, daughter, and in-laws were also in my living room, so my make-out opportunities were severely limited.

Anyway, they checked the stove, no gas, and then I headed downstairs with Hot Baldy Fireman so he could check the furnace. Hot Baldy Fireman told me to relax, his big wand thing (which he referred to as "the tool," ahem) wasn't detecting any gas. I said, "That's great news, thanks. And I just won a bet with my husband." Hot Baldy Fireman said, "Oh, you had a bet with your husband?" And then he set off the alarms on his tool (ahem). He claimed that as a man, he has to side with the men.

I was very annoyed and officially do not like firemen anymore.

Except, there is still a faint smell of gas in the kitchen, and I am thinking I would be more comfortable if the firemen came back, just to double check...

Comments (42)

Yeah, try calling them. And specify to them that you do not want them to send the baldy guy. He faked gas on his duty. That should be your reason :) (in case they ask for one)

His "wand"? hehehehehe


Yeah, firemen are crazy delicious.

Perhaps that tool performs other functions? One way to find out....

Of course you are required to report back ASAP!!!

Tried to scoop ice cream with a table knife? Knives are not even remotely scoop shaped! There should be some sort of "I got stitches for a humiliating reason" club, and it would be a toss up for the presidency between your fireman-love-preventing husband and myself.

Come back, firemen! Come back!

Was that lickable or likable?

Oh, definitely you need to call them back! You can never be TOO cautious about home safety! And this time call after clearing everyone else to a safer location. Ahem.

To be fair, I didn't actually call to evacuate the house or move to another state. What I haven't told you is that, whilst driving by the firehouse a few days ago, I spied a hottie firewoman. So, by all means call. Just wait until I get home :-)

Damn, I never get to see hot firemen. They're all old and bald and sometimes fat around here. Now, hot EMS guys? They seem to be the norm in this area. My friend and I keep trying to come up with scenarios to get her introduced to a few, and also for me to just be able to look at a few for a few minutes.

This could be a downer, so you can just skip it if you like.

Recently, a family around this area smelled gas, but it wasn't real strong. They didn't erport it and the next day, their house exploded. A couple people were killed and house debris was found up to 4 blocks away. Was very sad. And preventable. Previous to this, I was more on your side and my husband on Chris's - I've moved to the other side now.

Glad you called. Glad-er it was nothing. Sad the fireman ruined it for you. Stupid fireman. He must be spanked!

oh no.

you should not let one bad experience turn you against hot firemen.

just start visiting the ones in the next town.

there's no shame in that. nope. ;)

Well, if you DO call back, be sure to specifically request that they NOT send that hottie firewoman that Chris claims he saw. Nor baldy.

But you should call them back. If your husband and in-laws are no longer present your make-our opportunities are no longer limited. :-)

One time, my former roommate almost killed me with gas. Not *that* kind. The kind from the stove and furnace. See, we were in the middle of a blizzard (in Oklahoma!) and we lived in the top story of an old home that wasn't very insulated. So while I slept in, cozied under my blankets, my well-meaning roommate lit the furnace AND the oven AND the burners on the stove. Except our oven was a little tricky and sometimes you'd think it was lit when it wasn't and that happened, so the apartment filled with gas and somehow didn't blow up and I woke up so sick that I thought I might die.

No hottie firemen came to my rescue. Fuckers.

Firemen yum yum!

Just swear off the bald ones. The rest are ok.

My grocery store is right by the firehouse, all those firemen are always making food runs.

You want to come grocey shopping with me for some NYC firemen?

what is it with firemen? When I was a Veterinary Technician, we used to open the autoclave machine too fast so the steam would set off the fire alarm about once a week. After a while they started charging the clinic for false alarms. Yum-firemen...

I'm heading over to the firehouse to get Lady's carseat checked...want me to ask if my firemen will come set your fireman straight on how to properly use his tool to make a girl smile?

Wow ... a five way ... unbelievable. My first house smelled of gas all the time. It was old. I learned quickly that unless it knocks you down when you open the door, it's just trapped in the old house. No sense getting anyone to turn it off and wait 5 days for the city to come and inspect it after it's been fixed.

What is it with women and firemen? Put them in clown suits and it's a whole different story.


Aw...don't hate on the firemen. They come in handy. And their tools.

Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off!

definately the firemen should come back. preferably when chris is at work and mia is napping. and no inlaws are to be found. yes. and then you must report on the making out/wand usage that occurs. ;)

Fireman are there to protect and should come back just to make you feel better *wink*

Sounds like it was an interesting day and you got a great story out of it. To bad the guy had to side with the hubby though...boys and their codes LOL :)

You had firemen in your house? As in more than one fireman? You are now my hero. Can I have an autograph?

I think you'll be okay. Hot Baldy Fireman is obviously gay. Think about it - it took a man to set off the alarms on his tool!

My dad's a fireman. I'm officially not allowed to like firemen according to Freud.

Shoot. When I smelled gas (er, oderant, that's what they call it; happened for the same reason yours did) 2 redneck hicks from the gas company came over. Why didn't I get lickable firemen...even if they did side with men?

You've already heard the lecture a couple of times in the previous comments so I won't scold.

Although I wanted to.

Glad it was nothing.

Yes, you absolutely need to call them up again for a double check. For your safety.


Perhaps you could ask for a fireman calendar for Christmas......then you would have one handy at all

I LOVE your blog sight it is so cool... and quite a funny post..... I'll be back.....

And you'll tell him not to show up without his tool. Right? Yeah...that'll sound just right.

That was a delicious story, I hope it was not fiction.

Really, you can't be too careful. Perhaps you should call the firemen back.

My brother just applied for a job with the fire department (he's a volunteer firefighter now). I wonder if that means I have to stop finding firemen hot.

the odorant is called mercaptan. when i worked at the gas company (big interstate pipeline) we used to play with the stuff... a little goes a looooong way. did you know that natural gas (methane) is odor-free? the odorant isn't installed til it reaches the local distribution company. damn, i've just gone and nerded myself out.

i used to collect the scratch-n-sniffs they gave out at school during fire safety week... i love that smell!


i still like 'em...

I think you need to have the firemen sleep over. You know, just in case. If there's not enough room for them to sleep, just send Chris to a hotel or something. ;)

I'm sure Baldy didn't mean to be a prick. He was just into you and all nervous and such.... ;)

What I've come away from this post with, is that you need to get Chris a fireman's uniform ASAP. Giggedygiggedy!!

Did I tell you I'm now a fireman? :-)

The real question here is: who was the crazy guy who screwed up the gas-smell / gas ratio?

'cuz I would have fired his ass by the second call.

I forgot to tell you about the things in the closet. But you've heard enough stories of wild sexual fantasies with (instert food), (insert under 25 year old woman's name) and (insert animated object with more than one wheel).


Even if he sided with Chris, you must admit that that was a good sense of humor. And sense of humor on firemen = yummo. ;-D

LOL! He must have missed a class at the Hotty Fireman Academy. He should have to go back for remedial Hotty Fire Flirtation 101.

Yeah-- that one missed a real opportunity for some good-old-fashioned adoration on men in uniform.

Mmmm... but firemen... lusciously lickable...

to bad you couldn't lick them while your family was around. you know, just to see if they tasted as good as they look. it's for science.

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