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Failure

Mia and I just got back from the pediatrician (fourth time in two weeks, I am so over this guy I cannot even tell you). Mia has a runny nose and a cough, but that is not why we went. No, we went because Mia has a very stupid mommy.

I've been rearranging and cleaning out a closet in the basement, and this morning Mia wanted to play in that room, so I let her wander around while I did some more work on the closet. I didn't really notice that she had wiggled around to stand in front of me until a pile of old video tapes and big, heavy books from the top shelf started falling and landing on her head.

She's ok. She cried for a minute and then jumped off my lap and dragged me back into the room so she could show me what had happened, and then we played with blocks and took our morning walk. She has a couple of nice bruises on her forehead, but is unhurt. I knew she was fine, but took her to the doctor just to be sure.

I'm not ok. I held it together long enough to be sure she was fine and then lost it. Not because she was hurt, because I knew she really wasn't, but because I feel like such a failure. I feel like I should have realized the danger and kept her away, like I should have been smarter than that, like I should have been able to catch everything that fell and stop it from hitting her.

I cannot begin to count the number of times I have banged Mia's head or leg or arm into something, the number of times I have knocked her down or stepped on her or scratched or pinched her. As careful as I try to be with her, it seems like every time my attention wavers for a split second I fail in some minor way to protect her. I am scared that I am never going to get any better at this, that my instincts are never going to be strong enough to see the danger and stop it before it happens, that I will never be able to keep her safe enough, that someday she will be seriously hurt and it will be my fault.

I think I will see those boxes and books falling on her for the rest of my life, and I just wish like hell I knew how to make sure that it will be the worst scene I have to replay in my personal Guilt Cinema, and I am terrified to think that it won't be.

Comments (57)

oh, puh-lease. I've done worse, and my kids are still alive. yeah, I know, that doesn't make you feel better, but just know that while you want to protect her every second of everyday, you can't. The bruises will fade, and so will the memory of it happening.

Hugs for you both.

I know what you mean about wanting to protect her.

Before you know it she'll be grabbing your car keys and running off someplace. Until then, we gotta do the best we can.

I swear my three have a death wish. The boys (age eight and six) even do the whole "but I didn't cry when I had to get stitches thing" with each other. If they ever figure out that you can get a cast signed I'm sure we'll be breaking arms and legs pronto.

Just a clarification... please don't think I'm trying to down play your fears. I had the same ones, but as you become more experienced, you'll see how much they are unfounded. Am I making better sense? Probably not, so I'll just be quiet now.

I bang Rylan on things all the time and I completely understand your fears. He's not crawling yet so I haven't had anything too bad happen, but I'm sure I will. The thought makes me sick. Want to know what makes me sicker? The thought that I have to go back to work in a year and something bad might happen when I'm not there. We can afford for me to be home for 12-18 months max and then I have to throw up a little every day when I leave him at the babysitter's house.

I'm there with you. Lady likes to run around naked as a Jay Bird after her bath, and during one such episode she fell on Sweetie's watch. I felt guilty for not warning him (since I only warned him 100,000 times) and he felt so guilty for watching it happen. She fell and hit her face on the corner of a little floor cabinet, and cried for all of 5 minutes. Sweetie and I, however, cried and fretted for a full hour, and called the pediatrician's office to find out how to make sure she didn't break her cheek bone or suffer any permanent damage.

And then there was the time I watched Lady fall off the bed head first onto the hardwood floor (which we decied I'm over, right?), the time she burned her toungue on Mac n Cheese that I neglected to cool enough for her, the time she fell at the playground and bit her lip hard enough to draw blood....oh my God, the list is so long I can't even stand to think about it too much.

My Mom still hasn't gotten over the time my sister rolled off the changing table. My sister is 33.

And yes, I can spell words correctly, but clearly choose not to.

Beth, I know how you're feeling right now. I have felt that way too with all of my kids at one time or another.

We're mom's...but we're not perfect. We make mistakes in judgment, we miss things when we're busy...it happens. And contray to what we attempt to make everyone believe we can't see and know everything, we don't have super powers.

I could tell you stories for hours about times in my kid's lives where I feel as is I failed and screwed up. Here's a few examples...
The time Dani (my oldest) was dropped. I dropped her entire carier chair...upside down onto the tile basement floor. the carier chair slipped out of my grip while I was attempting to close a door. It flipped over and landed baby side down. Dani was 3-4 weeks old. Thankfully she didn't feel a thing. Her think blanket stayed in place and cushioned her. But I still felt horrible.
OR The time Dani (at 19 months old) put her sister, who was about 2 months old, outside on the front porch and closed the door. While I stepped into the kitchen for more coffee. She decided her sister had to leave. I still to this day thank god that nothing happend to her. (They're 12 and 13 now)

I could go on and on. It's ok to be not-perfect, we all are.. You're still an excellent mom to Mia!!

Oh, Beth! I know exactly how you are feeling. When my step son was 4.5 years old, he fell down the steps at his father's apartment. His dad was upstairs drawing his bath and I was downstairs watching TV. When he stopped crying enough to speak coherently, he looked at me and cried, "why weren't you there to catch me?" Ugh. (because I didn't know you were playing mountain climber and needed a safety net?) It turned out that he broke his collarbone and I felt like the worst dad's girlfriend ever (we had been dating about 2 months at that point). He barely remembers the incident now, so at least he can't hold it over my head. But I'll always remember the sound of his little body tumbling down the stairs.

A few weeks ago, Bennett decided to try and stand up by pulling himself up on the step from our family room to the breakfast nook. Chris and I were so fascinated with his movements that we just stood there to see what he would do. Yeah, he fell mouth-first onto the laminate-floor step. As I was swooping down to pick him up, Chris said, "that exactly what (stepson) did when he was one, on the playground equipment, when he needed stitches!" I was like, you have just earned the bad-parenting award for failing to learn from past mistakes!

It happens to everyone. Kids are pretty resilient, all things considered. Hopefully you aren't like my husband and learn from each situation.

Scary! I freaked out when Ogie ALMOST stepped on the baby. He didn't! She didn't even notice! But I was a wreck.

(((Beth)))

I don't think any of my failures as a mom will make you feel better, but if you want a list I will be happy to provide one. Seriously, with three kids, I have more than my share of bruises, cuts, scrapes and bumps as a result of being distracted or just too slow to stop something from happening. I'd tell you not to worry about it, but I know that ain't gonna happen. The fact that you are so bugged by it is an indicator of what a caring mom you really are.

This is why I don't read. Book are dangerous. Warn your friends now!

oh, Beth, i love your first-time parents mommy guilt and run-to-the-doctor concern :)

kids are sooo resilient. whenever emily fell down or i bumped into her or she get her fingers stuck in the drawers (something all three of my kids just LOVE to do) i would freak out.

now, if isabella slams her fingers in the drawer - i take a look at them - make sure she can bend the fingers, tell her no ma'am, give her a little hug, and send her on her merry way. she's child #3, after all.

you, my dear, are a GREAT mom. stop thinking that you are a failure!!!!

Oh my.... No super hero cape comes with being a mother. I'm sorry it's been a rough start to your day.

(I sent the 6 y/o with the broken arm into the house to fuss. Pass the popcorn and jujubes please....)

But at least none of the tapes were porn, right? Because you don't have porn, and that would totally be even worse.

It's ok. Really. It happens to us all and it will continue to happen until the end of time. Your mom did it too! Honest! Ask her! See how wonderfully you turned out?

It happens. Worse than that happens, I assure you. And it happens in slow motion, as I'm sure you've figured out.

The important thing is that you were there to help her. There when she needed you. You took care of her. There are kids in this world who would have a big heavy pile of books fall on their head and no one would notice.

I'm glad she's OK. And for your sake, I hope she's not a daredevil like my children.

Aw, Beth. I'm glad Mia's okay, and I guess I just want to add my voice to the rest of the supportive folks here. I don't have kids of my own, but I babysit and/or hang out with my friends' and relatives' kids all the time and I still tell everyone about the time, about 15 years ago, when I was babysitting for my professor's baby: She was just starting to pull herself up, holding onto furniture, and taking a few tentative but well-supported steps. I was sticking to her like glue, but she still managed to take a dive just beyond my reach, hitting her upper lip on one of the legs of a rocking chair. She split her lip and there was lots of blood and tears (the blood was hers but I think the tears were mostly mine). I called her parents at their curling team practice (I know - weirdos) and told them I broke their baby. They were the coolest ever, but I won't babysit for anyone until I tell them about the baby I once broke.

Okay, so that was a long story. The bottom line is, you can either tether your child to her bed all day or you can empower her to explore and become independent and be the courageous and curious person she is meant to be. The former means no bumps or bruises, but also a life too sheltered to be meaningful. I think we all know which one you've chosen, and for good reason.

You just might want to buy stock in Johnson & Johnson or one of the other bandage companies.

Okay, now for the famous dog analogy.
When Greta was about eight months old I was taking down boxes from the attic of winter stuff. As I took the wool sweaters from a box some moth balls hit the floor. She did what all puppies do, she ate one! I rushed her to the Vet, they made her puke and life was good.
But I felt like a failure. For a long time I felt like the worst dog Mama in the entire world.
I found every moth ball and threw them out. I cried, & I felt ill.
Greta was fine. She walked around with charcoal stains on her snout for a couple of days, but was none the worse for wear.
(PS: We now use cedar blocks to protect the wool sweaters)
End of dog analogy.
Hugs!!!

Really, really, really too hard on yourself. And if you actually had the super human powers you just described you feel you should have, you'd be off saving lives in an invisible plane with a golden lasso. Mia would be in day care.

I know how you feel. I feel like a failure when my son gets sick - like I should have been protecting him from those nasty germs! He fell at school today and has a scraped up nose and lip and I feel soooooooo bad for him, I want to cry, but I don't want to alarm him.

I would just like to have him walk around with a big plastic bubble that would protect him from harm, mean kids, falling and germs. I'm sure some people would say, "Suck it up" but that's not my personality. I understand how you feel.

I'm glad she is ok, and you will be too! I promise.

ok so things happen. th eone thing tha I have realized esp after having accident prone child number 1, is relax! Seriously, I know that you have gotten some great advice and all, but just relax, not so much that she plays with knives or anything, but shes going to get hurt, whether you want her to or not. Look at it this way, years from now when your nursing her first real breakup, this will all seem so small and irellevent. I probably just made u long for her to remain a child huh? lol sorry! stepping away from the poduim now !LOL

See, here's the thing. Babies aren't very...smart. I mean, they're *smart*; they can sing and play with you and with toys and they know where their noses are and all that amazing stuff. But self-preservation? Not so much. And you could be as vigilant as ~insert some witty metaphor here~, but she's going to get hurt. It sucks, I know. My son once took a header on a concrete pool deck because he pulled away from me and ran (at 18 months). HUGE bruise, bleeding, and I FELT his head hit the ground, through my shoes. But he was fine. They mostly are fine. Sometimes they get seriously injured. It happens. It's no one's fault; it's not like you pulled those books down onto her head yourself. She has to learn, with your help, to be aware of things. At this age, she's not. But she will be someday, and no matter what you do you can't protect her from EVERYthing. I know that's a really, really scary thought, but it's true. Your job is to teach her how to protect herself.

I'm sure you'll do a GREAT job. Turn off the Guilt Cinema.

OOOOH I can beat that... I was such a terible mother... I even dropped HB down the stairs when she was only 6 weeks old.... I used to replay that in my mind over and over... Now I just have to put up with her.. at 15 years old reminding me about it whenever she does something daft... she blames me for dropping her on her head....

Pleeeeeeeeease don't worry about this..... we all want to protect our babies ALL the time.. but we just can't always do that....

We try to see around corners for our little ones, but we can only do so much. It is hard to know that she will fall and she will bump and there isn't a damn things you can do about it. Don't beat yourself up, she will have much bigger complaints about you when she's a teenager!

(HA! I am kidding, please don't cry anymore...)

Recently husband and I bought a new house. While we were been shown around, I placed my [then] 13 month old on the floor to admire the fancy appliances and fixtures in the kitchen. While I was doing that, my son took a tumble off the back steps, head first onto concrete.

Oh man - I put a fridge ahead of my own precious little guy. What was I thinking? He was ok, however, but I know what you mean about Guilt Cinema.

If they counted up all the near-miss collisions we've all had, no one would have kids. :) I know it feels bad, because our job is to protect them. But as long as she still wants you to hold her & follow her around, you know she still loves you and holds nothing against you! You want me to tell you some stories from our all boy house to make you feel better? ;)

Oh Beth, I'm sorry. I'm glad to hear Mia is okay though.

You are not alone in this. It just happens. I'll tell you my worst one, the one that still pains me. When Nata was 3 weeks old, I went to cut her nails. And I'd done this before, on Maya for oh 2 and a half years. So I took my prescious newborny and cute her nails and then sliced open her finger. It bled and bled and she screamed and screamed. The hardest part about hurting them is that they forget in seconds, but we never forget. When I was 3 my mom slammed my hand in the door of the car and then yelled at me, because she thought I was still crying because we'd left the park. She didn't realize it for a minute. She still remembers it.

Just know that no one is perfect and you are doing a great job with her.

DUDE. How about the time I got bug spray in the GBK's eyes? I FELT HORRIBLE. I felt like, obviously I am incapable of taking care of her. And I'm not even her mama! I SUCK! And here I was trying protect her from The West Nile, as we say around here. And how many times I did I bang her head/leg/whole body into doorways? I can't tell you. But she's a tough girl, thank goodness, and is the best at mastering her own spectacular wipe outs.

It's going to be okay. I know you're upset, and I don't blame you for crying. But now you get yourself some ice cream and list all the ways you are a kick ass mama. The list will be very, very long.

I know exactly how you feel, and promise the image will fade. Not go away, but fade:

http://tinyurl.com/r9fyb

Carly

I hate to even tell this story, but you feel bad, and sometimes when people feel bad it helps to know that other people have done worse things.

We bought a new bureau, and put it in the kids' room. Within 5 minutes, our 4-year-old pulled it down onto himself. I don't think I've ever seen anything so terrifying. He was totally, totally okay (bureau was empty, and we were lucky), but I couldn't help but keep thinking about how children get KILLED when furniture falls on them. And how when I was STANDING RIGHT THERE, my child had some furniture fall on him.

It made me feel like I can't protect him from everything. Since that's true, I suppose it's a valuable lesson. That's not how I see it, though. I see it as a way to induce vomiting: all I have to do is think about it, and I feel so so sick.

I totally know how you felt - it was a deep, dark sinking feeling in your gut, right? That's exactly what I felt when I watched my baby girl fall face first onto the floor from the kitchen chair while still safely fastened into her booster seat. Unfortunately, for me and her, the booster seat was not securely fastened to the chair. There was blood. There were tears. I almost took her to the hospital (fearing that they would take her away from me because I'm a BAD MOM) but she was alert, so we didn't suspect concusion. The kicker is that a little voice inside me told me to double check the security belt around the chair to make sure it was done up. I opted not to because I was tired. I still beat myself up for not listening to the wise voice.

I just started telling this story the other day because I heard a story from a family I respect - they didn't take their son in to the hospital for a broken leg for 5 days! They didn't know it was broken - no swelling, no bruising. He was just crying a lot. I couldn't believe they told that story. Out loud. To other people. If it was me, I'd be saying to my man, "Never speak of this again. It never happened."

You know, they are surprisingly resilient, aren't they? You know we all do it? A particular favourite of mine was to very carefully take a sleeping child attached to a breast to lie it down in a cot and then , just as my goal was in reach, to accidentally bang its head on the bedroom door. They love that.

Oh, I know the exact feeling. I set a travel mug filled with just-brewed, scalding-hot coffee down on the coffee table for approximately TWO minutes while I got something for my husband. Two minutes is long enough for a 15-month-old to pull scalding coffee down on himself. He burned his chest through his onsie. There were blisters and screams. It was the most horrible 30 minutes of my life while we tried to get him cooled down, and then the interminable wait at the Urgent Care Center. The guilt was crushing - and I was CERTAIN the doctor, who didn't know me, was going to think I was a terrible, neglectful mother. Oh, the memory is very, very vivid - Harry waving his arms in pain, then pulling at his onsie, at first too shocked to be able to even scream, then crying, crying and nothing I could do for his pain. Even more awful - knowing I was the CAUSE of his pain.

Motherhood hurts.

Darling, you've got to cut yourself some slack or you're never going to make it through the toddler years. You could hover over her every instant and she'll still figure out a way to injure herself. Unless you're giving her steak knives to play with, you are doing your job.

I've been there a thousand times, I know exactly what you mean and I am sending you Internet hugs. Sometimes a bump on the head makes the kids a little more aware of the world and they start to watch out for themselves a bit, making your life a little easier. If you always protect her she will never be able to care for herself, which is the eventual goal.

Beth (may I call you Beth?), bless your heart. I read your blog every day and you are a terrific mother. Accidents happen. Please don't feel bad. She isn't hurt and you do all you can to protect her. :)

Beth, my worst moment as a parent (to date) is burned into my mind. I've told almost NO ONE about (well except the internets) and I still can't talk about it to this day without welling up.
BUT it turned ok.
And? I was reminded about diligence and safety and to hug my boys tight whenever I can.
It sucks that it happened. Kiss her, learn from it and move one. (also? save some wine just for the hell of it).
I also suspect that there will more stellar moments to come...
chin up.
Mia has a GREAT Mommy.

Mia's at that age when she will go a million miles per hour, with no filter. Toddlers' heads MUST be tough -- when my son was her age, he ran down the hallway, fell and hit hit forehead on the corner baseboard, causing a huge goose egg in the middle of his noggin. I was certain he was going to be mentally damaged or worse. Actually, it knocked a chip of wood out of the baseboard, but he was fine. He's almost 21 now, a junior at UNC Chapel Hill, and far more intelligent than I'd ever hoped for.

Moral of the story -- you're a good mommy, and Mia will be fine, despite any bumps, bruises and boo boo's along the way.

We have all had those moments. Each and every one of us. Learn from it, but let it go.

Remember, most of us survived childhood despite no child safety seats (sometimes no seat belts!), no door latches, no socket covers. You are doing a great job with Mia.

Which is not to downplay your feelings, I've been where you are and will be again. We just have to do the best we can. Sometimes that means we do get distracted or forget that a regular playarea is off-limits for the day. Forgive yourself.

You poor thing (well, both of you, really). And I can totally relate. If there were an award for maternal idiocy, I'm pretty sure I'd be a top contender with this one (among others). I hesitate to even tell it, it was dumb. When Maryn was 2, my husband and I were shopping and she got hungry. We were standing by a display and Scott put her in the shopping cart standing up so I could feed her. Somewhere in there, a little voice said, "this is not a good idea," but I ignored it since I was standing right there next to her. Well, it was not a good idea. Scott said something to me and I turned around to reply and BAM. There are not words to describe what it did to me. She cried for less than thirty seconds. I took her to the emergency room where I raised holy hell to have her seen immediately because there had been a bit of blood from her nose (while simultaneously passing out purell to everyone who touched her and insisting upon its use). It turns out it was because she'd had her finger up it at the time of the fall and given herself a minor scratch. Luckily the ER staff and the attending physician were nearly saints they were so patient and didn't even laugh at me once until after I left.

Haven't read the comments so excuse me if I am repeating anyone but try, if you can, to think of the number of times you have caught the blocks falling on her head, prevented a fall, protected her from danger.

I gave some thought to this when my oldest was very small. At first, I wanted to protect her from every little thing. But I can't (= panic). Then I started to think how much more interesting and wise people who have "been through" stuff are. I think of the most wise and interesting people I know and they have experienced a little pain in their lives. So - I still try to protect her from every little thing but now I forgive myself for the eye blinks where I miss something and try to remember it for next time.

And I still panic ;-)

Sadie jumped off the bed while I was in the room with my back to the bed. She was only about 18 months. She landed on her neck, with her head curled up under her body and did a somersault. She was absolutely fine but I couldn't even hold her I was shaking so hard. And crying. Fortunately, Christian was there - he held Sadie and told me that I would be alright and that he loves the way I mother and that Sadie couldn't have asked for a better mother. But I'm still devastated when I think about it.

Oh Beth, what you felt, the guilty, the worry, and such things are all what a mother would feel if something happens to her precious baby. Whether or not it's her fault, she would feel guilty anyway for not being able to protect her.

But, there are things that a mother can't predict and she's only human. She can't be a guardian angel all teh time to be protective.

So, dear, don't give such a hard time to yourself. Your feeling grumpy will affect Mia. Trust me. It's better just to cheer up and spread the joy to her so she won't feel the pain anymore.

I'm a mother, I know how you feel. Been there, done that. But, I believe, there's nothing better than being a happy mom to an injured baby.

Oh C'mon, Dont beat yourself up. How many things will you protect her from, how do you expect to watch her 24/7? She is bound to go and check things for herself. Dont worry, I truly think you are doing an amazing Mommy job.

BTW, are you serious when you say "She's ok. She cried for a minute and then jumped off my lap and dragged me back into the room so she could show me what had happened", cause that would be unbelievably intelligent and cute of her to do that!

I know exactly what you mean... I bang my baby on things all the time. Wow that sounds bad. I don't MEAN to, of course... it just sort of happens. And don't beat yourself up to bad, huh? Things happen. I've been reading your blog since before you were pregnant with Mia, and I honestly think you are an awesome mom and I love reading your site. You make me feel better about my mommy woes quite often actually -- thank you. Mia is precious, smart, and pretty durable I'm sure. =) You're not a failure, you're awesome.

Oh, Beth, I feel so bad that you're feeling this way. I've had moments like this, to be sure. What I do is remind myself that I'm not perfect. I give myself permission to not be perfect, to make mistakes. This helps me deal with them when they arise. You couldn't have foreseen that happening to Mia today. None of us could have -- except an insanely overprotective mom whose overprotection is more of a hindrance than a help. You're a fabulous mom. you LOVE your daughter and are doing your best -- and your best is the best. Feel better, my friend. We're all there....If it's any consolation, Joey bonked her head on the slide in the park -- granted Josh was with her....but, he felt sick and realized he made a terrible mistake. But, we're both relieved she wasn't hurt worse and that we learned not what to look out for in the park. I can give you tons of exampes of my mistakes, but this is the most recent. (*hugs*) don't worry.

I'm sorry you are feeling so guilty. Let's face it though, we are all our own worst critics. We do the best that we can with the knowledge we possess. At the end of the day, Mia won't remember the books falling, bangs or scrapes, she'll remember that you are her mother that loves her and protects her in the best way that she can. :)

Hugs. Motherhood is like anything else - you just do the best you can. And you're doing fine.

Aww, poor Beth. I know how you feel. There is no end to the things that we, as the Mamas, will end up feeling guilty about.

Well I think there are enough comments with the same sentiments to let you know you're not alone :o)

Don't worry about your instincts. HER instincts will get better, and then you'll find yourself saying "Be careful!" "Don't fall!" "Watch out!" 50 times a day, and of course nothing happens, and you think, they kinda know what they're capable of, they're judgement is pretty good, I need to relax. (Of course then they decide it's a good idea to "ride" the automatic garage door.)

I really needed to read this today...I had a bad mommy moment eariler~you can check out my post on my blog if you want.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feel guilty and worse AFTER the incident is over.

If it makes you feel any better, this post made *me* feel better about the thought of having kids - that they will get dinged up now and again, even if I am trying my very hardest to prevent it. And that's just what happens. Even when you're a great mom.

You're a great mom! Don't doubt that.

But I understand how you feel because I sometimes feel the same. Today I had a moment like the one you describe. I turned around for a split second, Tim crabbed a beaker full of water, fall back (head on floor) and got all the water over him. He cried, like Mia, for just a minute. Then he was just fine (but terribly wet LOL). But I felt like a total loser.

Sometime when you get a chance (and if I haven't already mentioned it), take a look at the girls' pics at the top of my blog. Rochelle (middle child - the one with black hair) has a scar on her forehead that will probably be with her forever.

She came racing down a hallway and headlong into an open door.

Rebecca had to have a baby tooth capped. We never did find out how that happened but we think she must have fallen against the bars of her crib.

Elcie ran into something too and barely missed putting her eye out.

I could go on and on about the things that have happened to my kids, grandkids, and now the greats. Kids have accidents in spite of our best efforts.

I'm in no way discounting your fears. My heart is in my mouth everytime one of the girls gets hurt or has a close call. Like you, I do my falling apart later.

There is no way we can protect them from everything or be all seeing and all knowing. We can't raise them in a bubble. All we can do is love them and do the best we can.

I know this feeling. I hate this feeling. All I can do is tell myself that he/she is fine now, and that's all that matters.

Apparently I used to fall down the stairs repeatedly, and yet my parents never put up a gate...
Don't beat yourself up!!

i totally understand this post. While my son does a fine job of injuring himself on things that he shouldnt be able to hurt himself on, i definitely lend him hand sometimes. Just the other night, he was playing in his closet and as i pulled on his arm to give him a hug, he bent over just enough so that he banged the side of his head (specifically his ear) on the door frame. He cried long and hard over that. And that's just the other day. we all do it. we are not superwoman and cant prevent everything. dont beat yourself up.

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