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Dress Beth!

So yesterday, Eric suggested some sort of Dress Beth contest. I think that's a little kinky. I mean honestly, you call a guy sexy one time and he thinks he owns you. Perv.*

However, I decided to do it. What the hell, right? I mean, it's obvious I can't dress myself, so maybe it is time I left it in more capable hands. On Saturday, I'm taking Chris to dinner and possibly a movie to celebrate his birthday (next Tuesday, if you haven't mailed your gifts yet you'd better use FedEx) and you guys get to decide what I wear. I've posted a lovely new photo set on flickr with some options for your perusal. Go there, check it out, and then come back here and vote, ideally, for some sort of top, some sort of bottom, and a shoe. Alternately, you can vote for, say, a top you like but tell me to go back to the drawing board on the bottoms and shoes because everything I've posted sucks. I'll take votes through tomorrow sometime and then put together the winningest outfits and come back for a lightning round.

All items have been carefully inspected to insure they are not torn, frayed, or (noticeably) stained. However, not everything has been checked for still fitting over my enormous pot belly, so there may be some last-minute substitutions in the outfit round tomorrow.

Um, that's it. Ready? Steady. GO!

* Eric actually seems like a pretty decent guy. Except for the perv thing.

Comments (70)

I think that the white dress shirt with the black sweater on over it and the black skirt and the black boots is hot. I'm not sure whether I'd like it with or without black tights.

I love the purple sweater, especially the neckline on it (however I thought it was red). With a pretty necklace. Hmmm, I suppose you need pants or a skirt too? Maybe just some fishnets? Isnt that the hottest new trend thanks to Britney?

Shirt 4 - purple sweater (NO scarf)
Skirt 3 - black floral skirt
Shoe 1 - black boots

Although I think (if you have it) a red (similar to the red blouse) sweater would be better.

(FYI - it has been said I have enough fashion sense to be a gay man... you can ask my wife for confirmation on this)

I really like shirt 2 and skirt 1, but pants 5 are so awesome.

Wear them with shirt 5 and the pointy black heels.

Oh...and my sob story? My sister just turned 30 and is the same size she was when she was 16. since I had a kid and I'm not a pant size 2 petite anymore and the girls got a little bigger, I gave her my all-time favourite pants AND my all-time fav. shirt, and I actually wish I kept the shirt because I miss it so much even though it looks better on her. Now I'm seriously near tears.

Maybe I should have sent it to you instead. Then at least I could have seen a picture of it on the internet.

You are TOO funny! I actually saw the pics on flickr first and then I went "Noooo... OMG YES! She's doing it!"
You rock, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise (not even that so-called potbelly).

I have two possibilities:

Skirt one
Shirt 5
Shoe 2


Shirt 4 (no scarf!)
Shoe 2

I swear Carrissa just stole my idea! Exactly what I was going to say. I think that would be a rocking outfit, and I'm thinking the tights would be cute too. Or even the best shoes of all time with it instead of the boots.

Okay I have two choices, here goes:

1.) Shirt 8
Pants 3
Shoes 2


2.) Shirt 1
Skirt 3
Shoes 1

I hope you enjoy your date no matter what you have on. (Hopefully by the end of the night it won't be on anymore ;-)

I'd wear the black wide leg pants in 2nd to last shot w/ black top with wide sleeves.
Do you have any square toed heels?
No? Wear a spikey heel rather than a chunky one and lots of silver.

You crack my shit up, woman. I decline to dress you as I would probably do a far worse job than you do yourself.

I like the cream sweater with the split neck thing, and the dark brown pants, so long as they are not cords, I can't tell in the pic, with the cream and brown shoe.

This is fun it's kinda like the virtual Barbie Gabby plays with!

Shirt 8
Pants 4
Shoes 1 or 3

Shirt 1
Skirt 2
Shoes 1,2 or 3

Ok, I have had some time to check things out, my friend Karrin and I both discussed it extensively this morning...and we chose...

Shirt 8 (just don't order soup)
with...pants 5 (pants 4 if you just can't get that button) and the pointy shoes.

I say you model what you picked...yes?

I can't believe you have tme to do this. It always seems like I have absolutely no time for the computer when I stay at home with the kids.

I have no fashion sense, so I'm not going to dress you. Can we just make out instead?

Skirt 3 with the boots, but I'm not sure wich top.

shirt 8
shoe 2
pants 5 (most awesome pants. of all time. i need some!)

shirt 6
skirt 3
shoe 1

I would never presume to offer this kind of advice.

Tempting as it is.

The fact that you're doing this at all is hysterical.

How about:

Shirt 2 with Skirt 1 (like pictured) with Shoe 1 (black boots)


Shirt 2 with Skirt 3 and either shoe 1 or 2.

shirt 4-no scarf, pant 5, shoe 2.

I love Shirt 8 and Pants 5, but I'm not sure how they'd be together. It might be a little much, with the soup-dippin' sleeves and the leggy pants. But if they did work together, I'd put them with Shoes 2.

That was fun. It's like you're a paper doll. Only on the Internet. And real.

Ummmm ... do the denim mini skirt, red, white or black shirt in the one pic and a pair of black leggings. Dinner and movie must be formal in Virginia.


CRAP! I forgot the shoes. Whatever you like.


duck, duck, goose! sorry couldn't help myself.

Skirt 3
Shirt 6
Black boots

If your fave pants, No. 5, are black then:

Pants 5
Shirt 8
Shoe 2

this is kind of like playing paper dolls, but better!

(do we get to dress your date, too?)

I say:

Shoe 2 (black, favourite shoes, because you MUST wear your favourite shoes of all time in order to feel fully fabulous)

Skirt 3 (black)
Shirt 10 (black sleeveless thingie?) layered over
Shirt 6 (white)

Have fun!

I'm not sure you want my advice on this, as I am frequently paralyzed by trying to put an outfit together. I usually end up going with something black. Can't go wrong with black!

I so love top 8. Maybe with the flowy black pants and your pretty pointy heels.

White shirt (crisply ironed [I have no idea how to do that - I take mine to the dry cleaners]) with low-rise, flat-front black pants and ... ummm ... stunning, big (red or purple) beads (necklace or earrings - either one but not both)with ummm ... pointy-toed black shoes (although red snakeskin [faux, of course] would be better).

Dang, I can't describe for shit. I'll draw you a picture. Scratch that - I can't draw either.

I can't keep the numbers straight, but here's my idea:

White button down shirt (is it patterned or just wrinkled cuz if it's patterned, then, no) with the short black skirt with flowers and boots.

OR black pants (whichever you feel sexier in) and the shirt with the sleeves that drop in your soup, and pointy heels.

I have a Holiday party to go to Saturday night after I throw a baby shower for my sis in law in the afternoon. I have to find TWO outfits! Can you come over and help?

Couple of thoughts:

Pants 3 with Shirt 3 and Shoe 2

or for a dressier look:

Skirt 3 with Shirt 1 and either Shoe 1 or Shoe 2...if you do the boots go with dark tights, however if you do the heels go with sheer stocking (maybe even thigh highs) ;-)

Shirt 4, Pants 5, Shoe 2.

Alternatively, substitute shirt 5, but the pants and shoes are favorites, and that's what you should wear.

jean skirt, black tights, black v-neck, black boots - jewelry that is NOT black

I'm not so sure how I feel about the sexy slit pants! hmm....

However I'm girly girl and like skirts so I'm thinking black cashmere shirt, black skirt with flowers, and black knee boots. Add tights and scarf if it's chilly.

Ok, I'm gonna say red shirt #7 with black pants #5, and either black boots or black heels. If pants aren't comfy these days, pants #4. Same shoes. Black shirt #8 would be great as well but soup probably isn't your best accessory so go with what's safe- or bring rubberbands. (Hey, if guys can tuck their ties into their shirt buttons, we can hogtie our shirtsleeves).
Best of luck!

Shirt 4 (NO scarf), Skirt 3, and Shoes 1 or 2.

Shirt 2 with pants 1 (fix the button) shoe 5 - BUT we need to see them on you.

*Shoves many pics aside*

Black / white flowy top
Black boots (are the heels high enough?)
Need a pair of jeans that accentuate the smokin' ass
Need a killer set of earrings
Clutch purse
Perfume that makes him swoon

...and keys to a hotel room

I LOVE shirt 8 even if you do drop sleeves in soup. I like this with pant 5 but if they are too tight (been there) then pant 4 looks great too. And I love strappy shoes so either 2 or 3 would look great with this outfit. Good luck!!

You will look pretty in anything you wear I am sure. I did like shoe 3 myself. I also liked the black and gray skirt up front but not the sweater shown with it. You wear anything you want to wear but by all means take a picture of yourself in your outfit so we can all see what you chose. :)

While I do like flowy pants 5 (or 4 in a pinch) with flowy shirt 8, if you go that route I'd encourage you to wear shoe 1 (the boots, people, the BOOTS!). It's really the only right choice for that outfit.

But here's a really fabulous alternative that's just a little cuter, a little kickier:
Shirt 11 (I mean the sleeveless white turtleneck) with skirt 3 (the black one with flowers) and shoe 2 (your favorite pointy black pumps). Bare legs or sheer hose. Mmm mmm mmm.

Do you remember Colorforms? This is just like that.

Oh, and I demand pictures. Maybe we could vote on photos of the top three vote-getting outfits?

The cool morticia addams top with the sexy slit pants (if they fit).

I like the long black shirt and the black skirt with the flowers but mabye not together....

Since it was my idea, I suppose I should put in my $.02 ...

Since you didn't give us too many rules, I'll follow the trend and place two votes (cause hey, its more fun that way) I will join Liz and Shelley and vote for:

Pants 5 (slit sides - fast tomorrow if you need too, Shelley's idea of 4 as backup is great)
Shirt 8 (awesome sleeves - skip the soup, get the salad instead)
Shoe 1 (Because yes, it is all about the boots)

However, the practical side of me kicked in, and while it is VA, it is still December. I just checked the weather for you, and Saturday night the temp will be heading down to 31 degrees (high near 50 during the day), though it should be clear. So while that may seem normal for us Northerners, you Southerners might get a little chilly under such conditions, so something warm may be in order ...

Starting from the bottom:
Shoe 5 - Brown Boots
Pants 3 - Khaki - a quick spritz of Static Guard should do the trick ...
Shirt 4 - Purple w/o Scarf

Though not pictured, feel free to accessorize with a fabulous colorful chunky necklace ...

And from you, I take the Perv ref. as a compliment ;-)

I'm partial to the Nikon, frankly. When you wear a camera, you almost don't need anything else.

Great self-portrait technique. I'm still working on mine: it isn't always easy to hand-hold the SLR without the left hand to brace the lens.

Oops, sorry for photo-geeking out there. I'm sure you'll look lovely whatever you choose.

Shirt 8, jean skirt, and black boots. I'm a jeans person though, the jean skirt will be comfy and the boots and fancy sleeves will dress it up a bit.

I would do the denim skirt, green jacket, black tank under it, and black boots.

I know you wont choose my vote unless it is in majority, but just to make me happy do this(irrespective of whether I win or not) : TRY my combo on and tell me how you like it

Suggestion 1: Highly recommended : Shirt 4, Pants 2(static-y) and Shoe 4

If the static is something you totally wanna avoid, only then avert to this 2nd combo

Suggestion 2: Secondary: Shirt 4, Pants 5 and Shoe 2

Do tell me what you think! I'm very sure the 1st combo will be super HOT!

I adore that skirt with the big flowers on it. ALSO, I love Pants 5, but I am not in favor of you wearing them, or even trying them, because dude, if they don't fit? You'll feel crappy, and it ain't worth it, particularly before a sexy date night.

Besides, dude, you're totally hot no matter what.

Okay, I'm going with the turquoise top and light khaki-colored pants. Of course, if one of those tops is HIS favorites, I'd stick with that one!

I like the black and white flowy shirt with the black pants that were kind of flowy (I think I overused the word flowy). But, it's supposed to be really cold sat. night so that might not work.

I'm voting cashmere sweater, skirt 3 and your favorite shoes. Love the floaty shirt but completely agree about the sleeves-in-the-soup thing.

chris will want to see your cleave (it's his birthday) (yes, i know, he's married) (but he still wants to see his girl's girls) (so show him!), so wear the Shirt 3 (blue, purty with your eyes and stuff), Pants 3 (grey, great with that hottie-hot blue), and Shoe 2 (your all-time favorites, which keep you happy while he's lookin' at the cleave). just sayin', is all. (try it all on...i bet he loves it.)

Shirt 1 - cashmere
Skirt 2 - denim
Shoe 1 - black boots


Shirt 4 - purple with optional scarf -- no scarf
Pants 2 - khaki, prone to static
Shoe 5 - brown boots

Lovin the slit black pants with the black & white top that gets in the soup....with your fave heels. Or, a smokin' ass pair of jeans instead of the slit pants...

Where is the pot belly? I agree with someone above, or two, that the black flowered skirt (3), white blouse (6) and black sleeveless top (12?)over it with black boots is a good choice. I guess I like white shirts, and black skirts and black boots. However, if it were me, it would be the black cashmere top and denim skirt, because I hate ironing.

duck duck duck
How's it working for ya, anyway? Less Spam? Also, I love how you get two days worth of posts on this subject heh.

Brown boots(maybe the black), denim skirt, white button shirt.....comfortable and attractive :)

Shirt 8
Pants 5 (sorry, but they are beautiful)

The rounded toe black shoes.

I like the black heels you say are your favourite and the short black skirt with the white pattern on it. It's too hard to pick a top so I trust your judegement to know what goes best.

Do you have a plain black skirt? If so, I vote for shirt 8 with a black skirt and your favorite black pointy-toed heels.

If not, I vote for skirt 3 with shirt 1, unless shirt 1 is actually grey not black, and then the favorite black pointy-toed heels.

I'm also leaning toward shirt 8 with pants 5, if the blacks go well together. I'm not sure what kind of shoes to put with smokin' pants like that, so whatever you'd usually wear.

Shirt 1, skirt 3, black boots if it's chilly, favorite pointy shoes if it's warmer.

May I just say that I think Eric has fabulous taste, even if he is a perv? ;-*

Shirt 4 or 8, Skirt 2, and the black boots. Skirts with tall boots is hott. My husband LOVES when I wear skirts on dates, but it hardly ever happens.

given this a lot of thought.
black sweater (the first one. cahsmere) 100% the second black and white skirt. the one in the picture with the jeans skirt and the tall black boots.


supposed to say cashmere...

I vote for the light khaki pants and the cream colored thick sweater with brown boots. Ooh! I dont know if you showed this skirt, but I know you have a black pencil cut skirt (Mia's 1st birthday party I think?) and that would look great with the sweater and your black boots.

Shirt #2 (white top)
Skirt #3 (black w/flowers)
Boots #1 (tall black)

I'm currently hiring people to vote for the worst outfit possible. (Do you have any spandex or stretch-pants? What about seaquins? And can we vote for 80's hair? You know you miss it...)

I love the black shirt with the white flowers (?) with the fancy black pants and black shoes.

sorry I missed this one! But, I voted above (today). :) Great idea! And, you look GORJ! :)

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
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