Mia and I went to the toddler play area at a local mall today, and this really old guy was totally hitting on me. He was at least 70, there with what I hope were his grandsons, and spent at least half an hour following me around talking to me, asking me questions, and telling me I was pretty. At first, I thought he was just being friendly, but then it became a little too friendly, and not in a good way. I finally just got Mia and left.
Later this afternoon as we were walking to the playground, a man from my neighborhood stopped to talk to me, and it was the same thing. Too nice, too friendly, too creepy for me and I got away as soon as I could. I started thinking I must be putting out some crazy pheromones today and made a mental note to make Chris sleep on the couch so I didn't end up pregnant or anything.
Then, as I was making dinner, Chris noticed something that explained a lot about my day. My jeans, my jeans that a wear a lot, my jeans that I had been wearing all day with a thong (which I mention only because it is important to the story, I assure you), my jeans have two large holes in the ass. I've been flashing the suburbs for who knows how long.
I told you I'm hot.