Mia: Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!
Me: What, babe?
Mia: Look! There's some crusty old banana mashed onto the door right there!
Me: Why yes there is. I wonder who threw her banana at the door and got it there?
Mia: And look! Look! There's some here on the floor too.
Me: I see that.
Mia: And a raisin! And some dried coffee. And look, here's a little piece of hair. Let me bring it to you. It's a gift, because I love you. Hey, when was the last time you washed this floor anyway?
Me: You know, I think children who keep their mothers up until 3 AM should keep their mouths shut about the housekeeping.
Mia: You could have washed the floor last night instead of trying to force me to go back to sleep. I would have helped! Hey, didn't you think it was funny how I cried for Dada for three hours and then when you finally woke him up I screamed for you the second he touched me?
Me: Funny? No. Mama doesn't find much funny at 2 AM.
Mia: You're crazy. That was comedy gold, lady. And then wasn't it funny how I finally went to sleep but insisted on having my toes jammed up your nose for the next four hours?
Mia: I knew you would think so. Hey! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!
Me: What, babe?
Mia: Look at this piece of fuzz I found on the stairs! And this lint! And this scrap from the roll of toilet paper I tore apart and used to decorate the house yesterday!
Me: Yes, dear, those are very nice.
Mia: Wait, when was the last time you vacuumed?
Ok, this was funnier in my head while I was mopping the kitchen floor. Actually, on three hours of sleep it's still pretty funny. You should try it that way.