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How it sounds in my head

Mia: Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!
Me: What, babe?
Mia: Look! There's some crusty old banana mashed onto the door right there!
Me: Why yes there is. I wonder who threw her banana at the door and got it there?
Mia: And look! Look! There's some here on the floor too.
Me: I see that.
Mia: And a raisin! And some dried coffee. And look, here's a little piece of hair. Let me bring it to you. It's a gift, because I love you. Hey, when was the last time you washed this floor anyway?
Me: You know, I think children who keep their mothers up until 3 AM should keep their mouths shut about the housekeeping.
Mia: You could have washed the floor last night instead of trying to force me to go back to sleep. I would have helped! Hey, didn't you think it was funny how I cried for Dada for three hours and then when you finally woke him up I screamed for you the second he touched me?
Me: Funny? No. Mama doesn't find much funny at 2 AM.
Mia: You're crazy. That was comedy gold, lady. And then wasn't it funny how I finally went to sleep but insisted on having my toes jammed up your nose for the next four hours?
Me: Hilarious.
Mia: I knew you would think so. Hey! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!
Me: What, babe?
Mia: Look at this piece of fuzz I found on the stairs! And this lint! And this scrap from the roll of toilet paper I tore apart and used to decorate the house yesterday!
Me: Yes, dear, those are very nice.
Mia: Wait, when was the last time you vacuumed?

Ok, this was funnier in my head while I was mopping the kitchen floor. Actually, on three hours of sleep it's still pretty funny. You should try it that way.

Comments (38)

no really, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you..what, you're not laughing? Impressive how you keep your sense of humor!

I am afraid that if I laugh, karma will come and bite me in the ass.

But it was still funny, even if I am just rocking back and forth and snorting.

I found it funny....only because I have been there and the child is stil alive!

Oh, but I DID read it that way.

And yes, hilarious.

I find it rather entertaining dahling!

I'm reading it on four hours of sleep...I think the effect is about the same ;-)
This is a very funny entry, Miss Beth. I think maybe Mia's Christmas present to you (Psst...hey Chris!) should be a visit from the cleaning lady. I know it's not in the budget long-term, but maybe just as a treat? That might be nice. Me no know. Just suggesting. :-)

OK- I am laughing... for sure with you. You really should think about writing a childrens book or something along those lines...
I hope you get more sleep tonight

One time someone I know was bragging about how "you could eat off his floors." I said you could eat off mine, too, and when he said "Oh, really?" I said "Sure, there's plenty of stuff down there to choose from." He was horrified. I was amused. You can't be vacuuming ALL the time!


My favourite "gift" was a piece of dried catpuke hairball that I never knew was there until a certain Little Person brought it to me.


She's a chatty one, that Mia.

And it WAS funny!

I think Mia and my son are in cahoots. He finds every tiny piece of fuzz and string and dog hair on my floor and brings it to me. Then there's the whole keeping me up half the night thing that I don't even want to talk about.

You don't like sleeping with toes up your nose?

This sounds like my house. I am laughing and shaking my head at the same time. What's the point in mopping if she's just going to throw more banana? Really.

That sounds oh so familiar.

Mine goes more like this:

Jamie: Mommy! I'm awake and I want to play! I don't care that it's 3am, PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY!! I just finished that lovely bottle you made for me, and then puked it up all over you. That was fun, wasn't it? Huh mommy? MOMMY!

Me: Sngnxnngnwx

i don't know how or where you come up with these things. hilarious story. honestly, your such a good writer, and your storys are just so funny, well, not that you were up most of the night with a screaming toddler, but the whole dialouge was great :) hope tonights a better night, as is the weekend!!!

interesting. i didn't find it at all funny and i had those same three hours of sleep last night...because my baby was up all night screaming (not for daddy or mommy, but for Dora and backpack...can ya feel the love!)

so...let's just say i know how you're feeling today!

I laughed until I cried.

And then I just cried.

So familiar, so familiar.

"That was comedy gold, lady." ha! :) I hope you have a restful weekend.

They sure do learn that I want the other parent game fast!

My MIL was so thrilled that the girls liked to pick up stuff and hand it to her, she thought it was some cleaning trait she somehow passed to them. Hello lady, they are adopted but sure, what ever makes you feel important.

My kids are noticing all changes, any thing out of place or new and then I have to give the detailed report of why its where it is. They NEED to know how it got there and if it was bought, who bought it, when and where. Drives me insane!!!

Oh-I hear you! It is funny in an ironic sleep-deprived way.

lol oh you poor dear, at least you're not awake enough to be really annoyed with the little fingers finding every scrap of dirt in your house. :)

Any food that needs to be mopped is overrated ... if it can't be broom cleaned, who needs it ... and I am loving lizgwiz's response ... I may be borrowing that in the future, if she doesn't mind, of course ...

It's very funny in my head - and I had a nap this afternoon.

P.S. I'm truly not trying to rub my sleeping utopia in your face. I hope you get some good sleep soon, again.

Here's the problem. It's funny, except that most of that my kids would actually say. Over and over agin. All. the. time. Just wait until Mia talks, it will be oh so fun. ;)

I do love the words, I really do and the conversations and I remember how frustrating it was when they couldn't talk, especially at Mia's age. But now that they never stop talking, I pray for a few moments of silence that never comes.

Ha ha ha ha...I'm laughing because I'm RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!

Oh no, you poor thing! I hope you get some sleep soon.

HA! It's funny because it's true. And I know it's true because we have the same "conversations" around here.

You know, eventually she'll be bringing you her projects from school, and those will just make you crumble into a big sniffly mass of snotty tears, and you'll wish she'd still bring you the toilet paper and carpet fuzz.

Very creative....the voices :) I feel your pain--one of my twins has decided that he doesn't like to sleep on school nights, so we have been doing this dance for a couple of weeks now. Stop the insanity! Where is the calgon when you need it? ;)

three hours sleep? yep, it's funny.

I found your blog through another - hope you don't mind my popping in. HYSTERICAL conversation between you and your daughter. The things you do to get you through it.

Laughing pretty hard, actually. Especially the part about the toes in the nose. Been there.

LOL (great, I just sprayed diet coke all over my desk while reading this!)

Now my daughter is 7, she can say those things and more - luckily she no longer holds the 2am timeslot - so while you gain some sleep, you also gain a more vocal critic!

Glad you can still see the humour.

Oh, I've sooo been there. I feel for you. I wish you sleep!

I think it's kind of funny on a full nights sleep.

HILARIOUS! Isn't it funny how they give us stuff they find on the floor? I think it's great because I'd rather she give it to me than put it in her mouth.... I.e., kibble. She's been giving me the kibble bits instead of eating them. It's a good thing....

This was a really great post. I was so entertained. Loved it. :)

Yup, it was hilarious. I could just picture the way my toddlers would bring me any little thing. Scraps and lint included.

I've had 1 hour of sleep, but mine is by choice since I choose to work these god forsaken hours. I hope you got more sleep last night.

Ha! I'm laughing because I totally understand! Wait until she picks her nose and hands you the boogies. That's always a real treat.

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So the Fish Said...

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