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Dudes, I just noticed I've posted pretty much nothing but pictures for the past week. This is either because I have such fabulous pictures to share with you that I simply cannot control myself, or because I haven't been able to wrap my brain around a coherent thought in at least that long.

The kid, you see, the kid is driving me bonkers. She's been awake from midnight to 3 AM every night for over a week, she wants me to sing the alphabet song for her at a constant rate and bursts into howls if I so much as pause to breathe, it takes us 30 minutes to leave the house because she insists on putting her shoes on herself and she is not capable of putting her shoes on herself but if I try to help her you would think I had unleashed a herd of sharks upon her precious little baby toes.

Hey, herd of sharks? School? Flock? I like flock, make that flock of sharks.

So now you are going to tell me that she is just a pretty normal toddler and is probably teething and to that I say that you can all kiss my (smokin') ass because I knew that already but holy shit is it driving me up the everloving wall.

Hey, did I mention how Chris has barely been home the last two days, which may have the slightest little something to do with this? And how sometimes I wish I could be the parent who can just say "oh, I'm going to be late, bummer" instead of the parent who has to make sure the kid is clean, clothed, fed, watered, rested and entertained before I can so much as pee?

Actually, most of the time I don't wish that. Most of the time I am thrilled that I get to be the parent that stays here and does all that stuff, and I don't mind Chris being late because somebody around here has to work and make some money, but hot damn, sometimes it would be nice to just go be somewhere else for a while and not have to worry or explain or ask or give instructions or coordinate with naptime or lunchtime or clingy-need-my-mommytime.

And I don't really mean a word of that, not most of the time. Just today, though, well today I could use a break.

Comments (39)

Those were the days...thanks (er, I think) for the reminder! Here's hoping it passes soon...well, except for that shoe thing. That's gonna go on for a good long time!

I hope mia decides that midnight to three am is a good time for sleeping really soon.

Oh, ick. That sounds horrible. Truly horrible. And I don't think you have to qualify it-- even those of us who really love our jobs get cranky under those conditions.

Benevolent dictator. That's what she is.

I definitely think you should call your mama and say those exact words -"I need a break." I'm sure she would be thrilled to come deal with Mia the Not So Benevolent Dictator.

Sending you hugs, or just nice pats on the back. I'm not sure how you feel about hugs. :)

Sounds like you need Captain Benedryl. And then Captain Morgan for yourself.


That was TOTALLY my week last week! I then accidentally had a fit and yelled at my husband for going to holiday parties in limos and then getting mad that I ate his pudding. I NEEDED PUDDING DAMMIT.

I so wish you lived closer. I would give you a break. My boys would love playing with Mia and you could get some away time.

Yeah, I was gonna mention that it's been all pictures all the time this week and where the hell is an actual post. But then I was busy cootchie-cooing over the pictures and I completely forgot to bitch about the lack of words.

Um, what were you saying?

Do you ever go anywhere by yourself when Chris is home? Even if it is just to the grocery store or to run a quick errand or maybe a mani/pedi, it seems like it might be a good time to recharge. Could it be possible that you might want to miss Mia a little bit? Thanks for this post today.

I totally relate. My dear daughter turned 2 this month and is clingy and defiant a lot of the time now. Also, my dear husband has been going out to parties and working late a lot lately leaving me to feed and bathe her after an aggravating day at work. Love her to death but sometimes I wish I could just take a 2-week myself. But when she leans in to give me a kiss, that rat fink, she pulls me right back in for more.

I have been/am been there. I wish I could be the one to just walk out of the house to do something outside without having to tell someone first, or the one who gets to go on all the business trips with dinners out in cool fancy restaurants.

It must be in the water. Michael has been all kinds of terrible twos and Doug wasn't home 3 nights in a row. Michael threw himself on the ground screaming more Daddy!

I'd reccomend vacation. Sans Mia, we are leaving tommorow!

That's it. I'm coming over and bringing some wine as reinforcements!

I shall cross my fingers that you get a break soon.

I so feel your pain. We just went through the wanting to be awake all night phase and now are in the "NO!" phase. Every little thing is a struggle. At least he isn't trying to put on his own shoes yet! But, I still wouldn't trade it for the world.

it is OKAY for mommy to take a break.
you do not have to sing the alphabet song, or dance, or play peek a boo when you have been up for three hours in the middle of the night.
you seem to have one of the smartest children on the planet. Look her in the eye and explain mommie's tired because of being up during sleep time and refuse.
She's smart, on some level she will start to relate some of this. Don't underestimate her. Yes she's a toddler, but an exceptional one, right?
Buy her some flippin shoes she can work. No matter how ugly they are....velcro, spandex, whatever....putting her own shoes Give her that accomplishment.
We, and I speak for your four million daily readers, think you're doing a great job. We visit every day for your honesty, your wit, your sleeplessness and most importantly the mia pictures.
That and your smokin' ass hanging out of your ripped pants.

I know how you feel on the days when Button refuses to nap and then gets grumpy because she's sleepy but howls like a banshee if I go near the crib with her so she's grumpy and clingy all evening and fusses when I hold her but screams when I don't and all I want to do is run away but I can't because she follows me around like she's attached to my leg with rope, just whining, whining, whining and eventually I can't handle it anymore and my head explodes into itty bitty messy pieces and I call J and tell him he's coming home early today because I'm JUST DONE.

heh heh. Wait until there's a shoe choice, and god forbid you pick up the WRONG pair when, clearly, the other pair was the desired pair.


I know what you mean even if I...zzzzzzzzzz.

Um, what? Huh? Where am I? Better question- where was the sleep I was supposed to get last night?!

We're with you. This too shall pass.

(You know that with the zzz's I'm not trying to suggest that you are boring, right? In fact, you may be the only thing keeping me awake right now.)

See, here is where I would say, "bring Mia on over and you take a break, my kids would love to entertain her and play with her!" Which in fact, you can do if you are willing to make the 10 hour drive to my house. :( I know so well what it is like to need a break. I know so well the agony of waiting on a toddler to do something they will ultimately not be able to do. Every mom needs a break - Wish I could offer that to you. Hang in there.

Hugs. Sorry you're so frazzled. And hope Mia sleeps for you soon so you can rest up too. Sounds like there should be some Mia/Daddy bonding this weekend - while you go shoe shopping.

You are human - every mother needs a little time away - why do you think mother birds push their bambinos over the edge of the nest, hm?

I know that it is winter and horrible up there, but do you folk have playgroups? Because sometimes nothing is better for both toddler and mother to be with other toddlers and mothers - then the toddlers can mangle the alphabet song together and compare mother-maddening techniques, and the mothers can all have coffee and collectively 90% nap (10% each mother on alert = about a whole mother)...

*hug* I'd come babysit for you if I could.

Can you imagine doing it with two? Yeah neither can I but I guarantee you its much worse. Oh and the me do it mind set...miss G is obsessed with doing everything herself and I hate to be the bearer of evil news but it started with the shoes and progressed to everything...clothes, lights, toilets, food, and most she can do now but it takes FOREVER and if she cant do it then watch out cause the gates of hell will open up and swallow us. Its so much fun isnt it?

Today I talked to my best friend who is at home with her 7-week-old twins. Both of whom have reflux. I just try to remind her that this stage is simply about survival... no need to tell her that days like you are having (and I have on a regular basis) will recur continually, because... why scare her? I figure, let's just let her think that when they start sleeping through the night there will be nothing but roses and dancing and little birdies landing on her finger for the rest of her mothering days. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!

I'm in the trenches beside you: Girl Twin is not napping and not wanting to sleep at night, and Boy Twin is having screaming thrashing tantrums if things don't go his way. Toddlerhood, my god. I don't want to hear "just wait 'til they're teenagers." They should BE so lucky.

Have you talked to Annie in the Kingdom of Perpetual Motion? She's a real-life friend, and I just got off the phone with her - she's having the same week you are. You two should talk. And drink wine together.

Sometimes it just sucks to be human. Like, why can't I have a better attitude about this and why oh why do I feel the nearly irrepressible urge to speak back to my son at the same volume he is screaming at me?

Hope it gets easier for you soon. Hang in there and, hey, I love the photos! So no need to apologize for that.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a break once in a while. After all, you have a 24-7 job with no pay! Take Mia to one of the grandparents' houses and do something nice for yourself - even something as simple as going back home to take a nap. You're worth it!

So the shoe thing isn't going to get better for a while. Sorry. Now is the time to buy only slip on shoes (or easy velcro) and to stop caring if they are on the correct feet. If she's going to insist on doing, make sure it's easy.

And I am so with you. Except my mom lives with me and babysits another little girl, so when I have to have a break I can get it, even if it is just going to the bathroom by myself. I know you hate me now.

Girl, I've been there.

Does it get better? Some days.

Does it get worse? Some days.

Do you deserve a break today (or any other day)? Hell yea. See what you can do soon. We all need a day (or an hour) to ourselves right?

I wish I had some sage advice for you, but seeing as how my ovaries defy me I don't have mommy experience.

I think the only thing I can possibly suggest is calling in a grandparent for some relief. Then make sure Santa knows he ought to bring you a day at a spa REAL SOON.

Best of luck you you Beth, hopefully you'll get a break sooner rather than later.

Yeah, I feel that way often. It's great when they are sweet, but they can turn on a dime. Someone I worked with told me her mother described being at home with the under 3's as being like living with insane people. It sort of is! Needless to say, she was too frightened to have kids.

I really wish kids came with a "pause" button. Maybe with two settings: one for ten minutes so you could shower (or just breathe) and one for 8 hours so everyone could get some sleep.

I hope it gets better for you soon. (And I see nothing wrong with posting pictures, especially when you're having a week like this. Mia is beautiful, and we certainly understand about cranky kids.)

I hope your weekend is better than your week has been. There are some really good suggestions up there (calling in parents and buying Mia some shoes she can figure out herself).

Some of it comes with having a incredibly smart child who is independent and just trying to do things herself. It means you are doing a great job as a parent.

I hear ya. The husband has been working until 9 or 10 every night. Somewhere around 6PM I shut down and stop caring just how dirty The Baby gets.

Hey - Rylan is only 7 1/2 months old and has been waking up for 1-2 hours in the depth of night to "play." Are you telling me it's not going to stop?

I'm commenting a little late...but I hope that you're feeling a little better.


Dude-I had this same week. We should meet up for mojitos and snacks someplace. Hope you get some rest this weekend.

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So the Fish Said...

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