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Not that there's anything wrong with that

Hey, did you guys know that a thing of tape flags can entertain a toddler for like 20 minutes? I recommend you all get yourselves to an office supply store post haste. However, I do not recommend handing over the staple remover unless you are a fan of puncture wounds.

We watched a lot of Elmo while Mia was sick, because it was the only thing that made her life seem worth living. Since then, she asks for Elmo by name ("Lala," as in la la la la, la la la la, Elmo's World) all the live-long day. Yesterday at 4:00 I decided to sit her in front of the tv for 10 minutes to I could clean up the breakfast dishes before Chris got home. However, since another second of Elmo would have caused me to pluck my own eyes out with the staple remover, I put on Teletubbies instead. When Mia realized it was not her beloved Elmo she broke down into 20 minutes of bereft weeping. Fuck you, Elmo, and your goldfish too.

Finally, if you read me via RSS you will have noticed that I've switched from a full feed to an excerpt. Sorry, I know that is sort of annoying, but a couple of days ago I found a piece of a recent post on a gay porn site. I have nothing against gay porn, mind you, but I do object to the juxtaposition of gay porn and my kid. So you guys are just going to have to click through from now on.

(Y'all, Technorati tipped me to the link, I wasn't surfing for gay porn. I mean, who has time for that with a toddler?)

Whoops, we just ran out of tape flags. Later, gators.

Comments (35)

Try little Einsteins, on disney. Michael loves it and asks for "rocket," and it's a little less annoying then Elmo. And they teach about art and music.

Dare I ask what you were doing an a gay porn site?

Not that I'm too worried (as I have a rather small readership of mostly family & friends), but how did you find yourself in such a predicament? Google yourself? Or do you have fancy schmancy software that helps you?

wait..what? you DON'T read gay porn?? i'm shocked!

i kid. i kid.

Wasn't Clive Owen involved in gay porn RSS feeds at one time?

~Jef

What every mom doesn't have a little time for gay porn every day?

wow.

And here I was all ready to make fun of you for looking a gay porn.

Consider my bubble duly bursted.

denial ain't just a river in Egypt...

I found a piece of a post on a porn site too!!! How does limiting the feed help? Can't they just go to the site and take it? I am slow with computer stuff.

I came to let you know that you had (I presumed) accidentally switched it to the preview mode.

If instead you wanted to keep it in full feed mode and stick it to the man (heh, that was totally unintended) at the same time, there is a plugin you can get that adds a copyright message at the end of each post in the feed(s).

I discovered post-it notes long ago as a child-entertainment-device. Who needs the expensive toys?

Even if you were surfing for gay porn, we still love you.

those flags sound like an exceptional way to entertain a toddler.

I bet post-its would be fun too.

I just went back to full feed a little while ago. Maybe I should rethink it.

My oldest called Elmo "Lala" too. Now she's five and has figured out his real name although I would have called him "Lala" forever because it was so cute.

What about the Backyardigans?
Maggie loveloveLOVES the Backyardigans. I have even caught myself humming the theme. Your back yard friends, the backyard... oh wait. There I go again...

Hey, this way I actually have to click and come say hi! So, hi!

I hope the gay porn didn't involve Elmo.

That sucks. I'd be pissed too.

Also... I'm an RSS reader and very disappointed! Now everyone can see I'm not working, instead I'm surfing the internet for people apparently writing about fish.

No, hon. She's asking for me. Although how she figured out that one of my best friends calls me Lala is a mystery. Still, I'm sticking with it. The child just needs me.

Hi. I found you through gay porn, and I totally love your site.

Also? This morning I left a comment on Amalah involving rim jobs given to Elmo. It fit, in context.

That context being making fun of pretentious moms.

Not that there is anything wrong with being a pretentious mom. Pretent! I'm all for it!

although I do not think you are pretentious. At. All. I think you are cool.

Ducking head and shutting up now.

I was so excited about the new Google Reader, and I found it so sad that you've switched to excerpts, but I admit that it is not the end of the world, and I am being flexible. Besides. It just means that I need to show up and view your happy purple site. :o)

You are spooking me out. My son rifles thru my desk drawer constantly in an attempt to annoy me until I stop messing about on the computer. Just yesterday he realized all my flags could be pulled out and used to cover his legs and every other thing in the house.
The next day, you write a post about it. Spooky.

Please tell me that Jef is kidding about Clive Owen.

Aah, office supplies make usefull toys. Tim loves post-it's!

Scotch tape dispensers can also be quite entertaining I've found.

Not doing the TV thing yet, which means I can feel rather tortured since that means I can't just plunk MF in front of it. My friend's little boy, though, watched just two (two!) episodes of Noddy and now begs for it constantly: 'Noddy! Noddy! Noddy!' So I think I'll wait a little longer.

A Happy De-Lurking week to you just before the week is up.

Oh, and I have an idea for a worthy cause for your other place. I'll send you a message about it. Is that cryptic enough?

Thanks for the tape flag tip, I've been running out of sharp object to give Boo Bear.

Elmo's World is the best trick ever. It's how my husband get out of the house every morning. It's so mesmerizing she doesn't even notice us slip out. And how wonderful it is on those annoying highway trips. We went from high-pitched squeals and head explosions to sedated, hypnotized toddler. While I used to feel guilty, I'd feel worse if she was screaming. Constantly. For hours.

My spawn used masking tape around the kitchen counters today so that Garfield would not eat them.

Don't rent "Garfield and Friends" from the libray.

The stapler is out of reach. We don't own a stapler remover, but thanks anyway!

you think Elmos is bad? What til she discovers Disney or Nick Jr with all of those shows. Elmos quickly went down the drain fast. She wanted nothing to do with PBS anymore.

I hate Elmo so, so much. Well, not Elmo personally, but the Elmo's World segment of Sesame Street. I don't like Journey to Ernie, either. Sesame Street used to be way better. It's still not as bad as Barney, though: the children on that show make me want to rip off my face.

While Mia is singing Lalalalala, somewhere in Toronto, a little monkey is singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep," all the live long day....

Tape flags, huh.... Gay porn!? Wow! That's nuts (oops. pun..., not intended).

That's awful. I'm so sorry...my comment will be in typical Aquarian form: I love humanity, it's people I can't stand. (Especially people who do stuff like that.)

HOWEVER, that first pic of Mia is AH-dorable!

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


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