Last week, I told Sarah that I wouldn't be going to Blogher this year because I am shy. I later realized that I had told her a lie. It is true that I will not be going to Blogher for a multitude of other reasons (Reason #1: Don't Want To, Can't Make Me), but shyness is not among them. I am not shy. Or, to be more accurate, I am no longer shy. Introverted, reticent, reserved and aloof, sure, not not shy.
For a while, I was so scared of talking to people that with everyone other than immediate family I would feel like I was floating up near the ceiling somewhere watching myself talk. I much preferred to just not speak and did that whenever possible. Oddly, I could get up in front of 300 people and do just about anything without a problem.
I am no longer scared to talk to anyone, although frequently I am just not interested. That's snobbery though, not shyness. I don't know if it is age and maturity or the effect of carting a kid around with me wherever I go and being too focused on that to worry about myself, but shyness just isn't a factor anymore. In fact, I'd just as soon sit on your lap and give you a noogie while telling you my life story as look at you, so consider yourselves warned.
I mention this because I suspect that blogging has had something to do with this change, with bringing me a little more out of my own head and making it so that I am no longer afraid that everyone will think anything I say is stupid and meaningless. So thanks for that, I truly appreciate it.
(Also, hey, I wrote up the thrilling saga of teaching Mia to sign over at Playgroup Dropout today,. so if you are one of the people who have asked about that, or one of the people who has been too shy to ask but your burning desire to know has been keeping you up nights, then by all means click on over and read all about it.)