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Round two of stuff you never wanted to know

Although technically, at least one of you wanted to know, or I wouldn't be doing this. So, let's dig in a little more, shall we?

Karly asked: "Did you ever have sex on your parents' bed? And, if so, do your parents read this blog? And if they do are they going to totally freak out when they find out?"

Um, I don't think I ever even had sex in my parents' house.

Pam asked: "Now that Clive is MY pretend celebrity boyfriend...who will you replace him with? Johnny Depp? (sorry, he's mine too)"

Well alright, you greedy bitch. I do not acknowledge your claim to Clive, but lately have been thinking I might eventually replace him with that guy from Deadwood. You know, the main guy with the hardware store? We've been watching the first season on DVD. Does anybody know if he's gay? Oh, or what his name is?

Brad asked: "Do you, or have you ever watched porn with Chris? Was it hot or weird?"

I wasn't going to answer this one, but then Sarah did so now it's like a game of Internet Chicken. I have, although not in a long time. College, maybe? I am the worst person in the world to watch porn with, because I feel I have to critique the production values, but sweet jeebus, after about three minutes it's just so boring I want to go read a book instead.

Ali asked: "do you fart in front of each other?? what about pee?"

It cracks me up that there are nearly as many fart questions as sex questions. Regarding question one, I am a delicate flower. Regarding question two, I have a toddler. I haven't been permitted to shut the bathroom door in at least nine months.

Linda asked: "I believe I remember reading at Chris' site that he carrys around a bottlecap you told him to keep forever, do you have anything you hang on to and plan to forever?"

You know, I haven't seen that bottlecap in ages. I'll bet he lost it, in which case he is so in the dog house. Thanks, Linda!

Oh - nope. Not very into things. I mean, there's some stuff I would hate to lose, but nothing I couldn't live without.

More later, maybe, if you all aren't bored yet.

Comments (12)

It's because farts are funny.

This is fascinating stuff. Bored? As if. We want more. You did ask after all.

His real name is Timothy Olyphant (I don't know if I spelled it right, but he is pretty cute) and I don't know anything about his sexual orientation.

I'm still pissed that they cancelled "Deadwood" I loved those cocksuckers.

heh a delicate flower, huh? One of my guy friends insists that women don't fart, so we're seriously considering getting his bride-to-be (hypothetical, he's single) to dutch oven him the morning after their wedding night.

I'm not bored. Keep going, please.

I don't have a blog. Should I still answer?

hilarious side story:
when my sister feffie was in highschool, my chris gave her a pop tab from a can of pop and told her to keep it forever. so stuck a piece of twine through it and wore it around her neck. within 6 months most of her highschool was wearing them around thier necks.

delicate flower, eh? wouldn't have pegged you for one of those :)

okay...i'm off to answer 'em, yeah, thanks for that...

More! More! Not bored!

the fun never ends! keep it coming! you know you want to answer them all.

I am not bored! You are so brave to answer these questions. And just because I feel like sharing, re: have you ever had sex in your parents bed?

When I went off to college, at some point, my dad started sleeping in my bed, and then I just told my parents to use my bed as it was newer and nicer than theirs. I didn't need a queen sized bed in the places I lived post college, until I got hitched - and got my bed back. So yeah, kinda. But it was mine first!

I love reading stuff like this.

More please.

I love that guy from Deadwood. And he looks really good when he's not old fashioned hair hardware store guy too, although at first you don't recognize him.

I wish they hadn't cancelled that show.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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