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Some (more) things you don't know about me

I'm late, but nap time was abbreviated and the furnace was broken and it is hard to type with cold fingers and also I had to clean the whole house before the furnace guy got here, because I am sick. And then there was a dinner thing so I had to do hair and makeup and hair (for Mia). However, I am now approximately 1.5 sheets to the proverbial wind, and therefore likely answering far more of these questions than I otherwise would have, which is good for some of us and bad for others, depends how much you really wanted to know.

Sarah asked: Where were you when you lost your virginity?

A waterbed under a black light. It was, well, it could have been worse. The far more interesting story is how the last time I saw that guy was in Paris. (OK, the last time I saw him was in Customs, but saying it was Paris is much more fun.)


Leah asked: "List the things you have done that are illegal. Hee."

Just drugs, mainly, although also a bit of underage drinking and quite a bit of underage smoking. Oh, and maybe driving when I oughtn't have, but we were all young and stupid once, right?


Carol-anne asked: "Have you ever thought of Clive Owen when you've been doing the dirty with Mr Cactus?"

The dirty what? Dishes? Laundry? Oh, that. Nope, can't say that I have.


Wicked H asked: "You are on a deserted island. During one of your foraging episodes you find that Clive, Hotty Pediatrician and Wish He Would Take Off His Damn Shirt Bank Teller are also on the Island with you. Besides the obvious, how would the 4 of you pass time?"

Well, I've always really liked Bridge.


Statia asked: "Do you prefer carpets or hardwoods? And I don't mean on your floors."

I've been into redecorating lately. You know, stay-at-home-mom and all that, have to do something to combat the boredom.


Hannah asked: "What was your favorite sex position while you were pregnant?"

We usually went with the "don't fucking touch me, you miserable bastard."


Jessica asked: "If you found out, irrefuteably, that Mr. Cactus was having an affair, would you stay or would you go?"

Why, what have you heard?

At one point, I would have said that no question I would have kicked his ass to the curb before he knew what hit him, but having a kid makes it less of a black and white question. It would depend on the circumstances, I suppose.


Fauve asked: "If you found out there had been a mix up at the hospital and Mia was not your biological child, would you give her back or fight to keep her?"

You mean if she was swapped for the other infant with the jet black mohawk and her ankles up around here ears? Fight to keep her, no question. I think the far more difficult question is, what of that theoretical other child who I gestated but have never known? I think biology is the least important part of family, and while I am sure it would keep me up nights the rest of my life, I think it would be best to stay with the families we have made and have a really stunning story to tell at parties.


Tuesday asked: "When will Mia get a sibling?"

I dunno - do they sell them at Target?


Shelley asked: "What if it turned out Mia was a (*gasp*) carnivore? Would you disown her? Try to convert her? Show her the error of her ways?

Also, do you ever secretly eat non-vegetarian things, and if so, what are you most likely to go for when you "slip"?"

Mia can eat what she likes, in fact, I have asked my parents to serve her meat at every opportunity. It is her decision to make, once she is older.

I eat fish, mainly sushi because it is the yumminess, but have not knowingly eaten meat in 6 or 7 years.


Jen asked: "If Chris wanted to undergo a sex change operation to become the woman he always wanted to be, would you stay married to him and share your sexy yoga pants?"

I'm sure that Chris and I would remain very good friends, and I may even loan him my yoga pants, but I really prefer the people I sleep with to have a penis, so the marriage would definitely be over.


Um, yeah, am far too drunk to continue, but will be back this weekend to answer more of these fabulous questions (and, I suppose, even more of the pervy ones). In the meantime, I tag everyone who asked a question and insist that you answer your own question along with four others from the comments on the last post. Get to it, don't make me call you by name.

Comments (22)

ROFLOL!
Thanks for your honesty. It made for good reading. Although I sure hope Mr. Cactus stays that way and doesn't have an operation planned. Although have you seen All My Children lately? They actually have a trans-gendered character. And the weird thing is.....I like him/her.
I think I should stop now. Perhaps I have had too much pain medication...LOL

I love drunk Beth. Can our next "playdate" (I hate that word) have liquor please?

you mean only people's whose questions you've answered? Not everyone who left a question, right? right?

Aw, man! It was fun reading your answers...but I don't wanna have to answer my own!

This was the most awesome post ever! Please answer more. I will not be asking or answering cause I'm too chicken. And my mom reads my blog.

Nice. Very, uh, frank. ;-)

I'm going to start using "I prefer the people I sleep with the have a penis." Just randomly when I want people to pay attention to me, not in context or anything.

DONE! However, I wasn't as bold and brave as you are. Thanks for the fun!

I think if they sold babies at Target they'd be REALLY AWESOME and SUPER CUTE for about 6 months, then they'd break.

I participated even though you didn't answer my question. My answers are up. Jerk.

"don't fucking touch me, you miserable bastard"...just fell off my chair laughing. is it bad that that "position" happens around here even though I'm NOT currently pregnant?

"We usually went with the "don't fucking touch me, you miserable bastard."

HAHA.. uhm, yeah, what Danell said!

That was hilarious.

Ok, I know I am a day late, but I have a good question for you: If your house was about to catch on fire and you had 5 minutes to safely save some of your posessions (family members and pets excluded) what would you save and why? (FYI, I am asking this question because I experienced this situation at 3am this morning when our heater blew up in our attic and smoke filled my house, but there were no flames yet so I had a few minutes to safely gather stuff, child and hubby safely outside in car.(FFYI, thank God the flames were contained in the metal unit and didn't spread throughout the house.)Here is my list of what I grabbed in "Panic" mode:
my camera,photoDVD's,purse,diaperbag,picture of my family...and now for the completely random stuff...a pair of my husband's dirty underwear, one sock, my bra (no shirt or pants though), my childhood cabbage patch doll and a fist full of plastic walmart bags...???

Fun stuff.

And CJ's random stuff had me LOL. Glad you're okay, CJ.

dammit beth! i knew that was too good to be true. i'll post mine tomorrow.

you only answered one of my q's, so I'll only answer one. HA.

Would I stay or would I go?

I left.

I won't answer my own question because it was about Mia possibly turning into an omnivore, and (no offense but) as a semi-random onlooker, I'm really not too concerned about it either way. Instead, I'll answer the virginity one: In a hotel room in Baltimore.

Fascinating, no?

Hee. That was my favorite sex position during pregnancy, too.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


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