Wow, you cocksuckers sure do have a lot to say on the subject of vacuums. Speaking of which, I haven't vacuumed anything yet today, must get right on that.
Yesterday, Mia and I went to a library storytime in a neighborhood about 20 minutes from mine and even snottier. See, lots of the cocksuckers who live in my neighborhood have lots of money and work hard to give you the impression that they crap hundred dollar bills. This other neighborhood, it's five hundred dollar bills. However, it was out and socialization and all that crap, so we went. It lasted 15 minutes. 15. That's like six songs and one story and then see ya, get your stamp at the door. I felt totally gypped, so I called the librarian a cocksucker on the way out.
Then, as we were trying to leave, I was more than halfway out of my parking space when some bitch in a minivan going entirely too fast decided that she didn't want to stop to let me get out of the way, so she just kept driving as fast as she could and blasted her horn at me. So I called her a cocksucker. I mean, once she parked I pulled up behind her, rolled down my window, waited for her to get out of the car, and yelled "cocksucker" at the top of my lungs and then drove away giggling.
Hey, remember that diet I was on where I had to measure crap? It was a cocksucker, I quit. The measuring pissed me off, although I did rather enjoy entering everything into my handy excel spreadsheet. I'm still dieting though, just more of the low fat, low carb, low sugar, no wine (cocksucker!), all the baby carrots you can eat variety. I've lost five and a half pounds in a little more than a week, because I'm a cocksucker, but you can't tell at all, because my chubby thighs and flabby belly are also cocksuckers. I've also been working out like a cocksucker, so give me credit for that at least. Oh, and I just ate three girl scout cookies that Chris left sitting next to the computer. Cocksucker.
That's all for now, cocksuckers, I have to go clean the cocksucker shower before the cocksucker mold achieves sentience and kills me in my cocksucker sleep. Cocksucker.