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I swear I live in a nice neighborhood

There's an apparently used condom in my front yard.

We have to move. There's no other option.

Comments (65)

i agree, put it on the market tomorrow, better yet, call the real estate agent tonight! who found said item? chris? u? hopefully not mia......that'd be bad.

Obviously the White Trash Neighbors are back.

that is awesome

Maybe when trash was collected it fell out of someone's trash can and landed right in your yard.

Mine eyes! Mine eyes! I can hardly stand the grossness.

Ew. Shiver.

Oh. My. Goodness. Disgusting.

ha ha ha ha ha!!!

sheesh, first the vibrator and now this?

Interesting and Eww all at the same time!

The real question: did you somehow (and don't tell me how) pick it up and dispose of it? or did you take the "modern" (for lack of a better term) approach and sling it haphazardly into the road and/or neighbor's yard?

Um... Ew.

Of course, I used to be a housekeeper for a bed-and-breakfast popular with honeymooners. Do I really need to finish this story?

Wanna sell me your house, cheap? It looks like we may be moving to the area...

Are the PWT neighbors back? Did they do a ride by? OMG, time to sell!

sweet cheese on a cracker...that's just putrid

Not to downplay the grossness (did I just make up a word?) of finding a used condom in your yard, but remember....there are horny teenagers no matter where you live.

I do hate finding stuff like that (saw one in the parking lot of a park we go to the other day) when you have a curious toddler who loves to pick up trash to throw away.

But selling the house will be difficult with that thing in the yard.

That's appalling. I mean, it's not even biodegradable.

Ew. Just ew. I saw and smelled "evidence" in a women's bathroom in downtown Vancouver once - and it was late at night, on what's apparently "the gayest street in Vancouver" and I know gay sex shouldn't skeeve me out more than straight sex, but just was pretty grossed out - but I guess no one was using the WOMEN'S bathroom for anything else!! (you should've seen the clubs around us.)

When I still lived at home with my parents, someone once hung a condom on our front door (no, it wasn't used). Strangest thing...

There is always the possibility that someone tossed it out the window while driving by, right? I'm not sure how that makes it better, either ...

Ewwww....who is having sex in your yard?

Sorry, I knew I forgot something.... hee hee!

Yeah, that's gross. I'd be installing motion detectors and video cameras on the front of the house to catch the perps.

ewww...who's been having sex in your yard?

So nice. Is this the same neighborhood where someone found a battery operated device on their way to a car? Sounds like you guys live in a really wild neighborhood.

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! If it's any consolation, I found the end of a joint in front of my garage (a "roach", if you will...). Not quite as bad, but....

Ew.

Oh my God! I live in a nice neighbourhood too, and when my son and I went for a walk on Monday afternoon, what did we see on the sidewalk? A used condom. So...I feel your pain.

Is there any shame left in the world? Gross.

Well, at least they used a condom, so the idiot who threw it in your yard won't be reproducing anytime soon! This is a very good thing!

Not to make it any grosser, or make you ponder it even more, but at first glance it made me think whoever was wearing said condom must have a teeny weenie b/c that thing's not even unrolled all the way!! And to try to make you feel better I worked in a hotel doing laundry and my first day cleaning rooms I found a purple, bunny rabbit shaped vibrator. Eww-to-the-max.

Like I wasn't feeling icky enough this morning...

Disgusting...but on the other hand...at least protection was used, ya know, if your gonna do something like that in someones front yard an all.

wow..I feel so bad for you I want to come help you pack. Although, it did give me a nice morning chuckle.

See, now this would be a picture that could get put up on porn sites.

Ewww.

You're just covering your tracks because you were making out with the UPS guy again, weren't you?

Ewwww.....

Well, being an optimist, my friends and I as teens would throw away old condoms found in the bottom of our purses by squirting lotion in it and tossing it somewhere. I feel bad about it now, but you could hope for teen prank instead of grossness.

Ha ha ha. I just pictured you strolling out to the mailbox, spotting the condom, running back to the house to grab the camera and then squatting down to take a picture of it. What must your neighbors think?

Ugh, that is gross.

gag!!!!!

Just think about how the bird that was building the nest felt, when thinking he/she'd found fabulous building material, dragged that condom home, only to find it really wasn't nest-building worthy! And that icky, rubber-y smell would have made the nest reek! Damn birds!

I've been a lurker for the last couple of days, but I just had to say that this post made me laugh. I'm sorry, but you're funny! And eww, pack fast!

The trouble with moving due to a renegade condom in your yard is that you may end up in a worse situation. I mean, at least the used condom wasn't still attached to its user...

Grossness! Oh well, at least it's one less pregnant teenager. Unless it was old people.

*snicker* That's disgusting, although I've grown accustomed to seenig that stuff at the dumpster of our apartment complex.

I'm with the person who said what's with the vibrator and now this? Is someone parking in your driveway to get their groove on? Which... is just disturbing when you think of all the other places you could do that in private....

YUCK!!!!! We live in a nice area too, but on a busy street & I can't tell you the crap I've found in our front yard. My FAV was the water bottle half-filled with a yellow liquid I can only assume was piss!!!

Hey, didnt Chris find a vibrator by a car too?

It's always great fun explaining them to your kids.

OMG! That's the funniest thing ever.
Do you suppose there was someone actually having sex on your front lawn?
Cause that's FABULOUS, imagine if you lawn looks THAT inviting that people cannot help put DO IT right then and there on YOUR LAWN.
HAHAHAHAHA. You need a motion light, catch em in the act.

Is it yours?

~Jef

I remember the day camp I went to in the town park behind that was located behind the house I grew up in ... there was one year in particular that there were just used condoms everywhere ... I guess the park really DIDN'T close after sunset like the signs said.

Are you going to play rock-paper-scissors to see who has to pick it up? :-)

Wow.

51 comments ranging from wow to ewww.

All I can say is if that was my front yard, I'd be sitting in the window at night with a flashlight, video camera and tazer.

Which one would I use depends on how I feel.

:)

I'm sure your neighborhood is still nice... it was probably just a drive by shooting. ;)

Ewwwww!

So, I guess no sibling for Mia this week?

We used to find them in our dinky little front yard all the time. I went to an urban university and rented a craphole in a bad neighborhood with three other roommates. It could have been my oversexed gay roommate but more than likely it was the same people who broke into our cars to steal cigarettes.

It's amazing that you can find solidarity in used condom lawn ornaments.

Ha ha! we found one stuck on our hedge once! It was our old house that was on the market at the time! it was right there about two feet from the For Sale sign! I could have died! We had already moved out thankfully!

on the other hand... they aren't procreating. and that has to be a relief.

Take it as a compliment. Your house/yard was hospitable and inviting enough for some hot and sweaty couple to Get It On.

Dutch at Sweet Juniper was on a walk with Juniper and found a used butt plug. Does that help?

Wretch. Um hopefully they werent using it while parked in a vehicle outside your house peering through your curtains or even worse standing outside your windows. Shiver. Creepy. Move. Whats next a needle?

EWWWWWWWWW!

GAAAAAAHHHHH! Reminds me of the condom landfill out behind the parking lot of my high school. GAH.

Ewww! Only a blogger would take a picture of it :))

Ha! I found a condom AND an empty bottle of vodka in my front yard. My neighbors party hearty.

I wonder if the woman who mows the lawn over at GoonsquadSarah's place has a different technique when it comes to you lawn. Probably I should use anothe word than comes. Oh well...

Umm... used condoms are gross. But you only need to sell if
1. You find a used syringe
2. You know where it came from
3. The cops won't shut the place down...

Better safe sex than no sex though...

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