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Sick, bastards

So, um, I'm still wearing the triumphant french braid from last night. This would be fine if I had spent the day lounging around the house, but no. I went to Mia's gym, storytime at the library, the bank (fortunately it was Cute But Gay Not That There's Anything Wrong With That McBanktellersons and not Hotty McBanktellersons), the cleaners, and two grocery stores. Contrary to what you may be thinking, I did not leave the braid in because I was still so enamored with my hair-styling victory of last night. My excuses are that a) I'm sick, b) when I first left the house this morning it was still almost an acceptable hairstyle and c) I just don't give a hot damn. Am thinking of leaving it in for my blogger playdate tomorrow (if I am not banished due to germs), just so they can tell you all how much I rocked the two day old falling out french braid look.

Also, after four strong days full of willpower and protein, I just cheated on my diet. I ate four Teddy Grahams that were sitting next to the computer. And they were so good that I went downstairs and got myself a little handful. Then those were so good that I went downstairs and got myself a bigger handful. My excuses are a) I'm sick, and b) fuck off. Also, I did a total face plant on the stairs coming back up with the second handful, so I think I've suffered enough.

Swear to god I am not going to turn into one of those people who talks about dieting all the time, but you know what isn't half bad? Canned tuna with that hideously awful fat-free sliced cheddar melted on top wrapped up in a lettuce leaf. I mean, it's not good by any stretch of the imagination, but if your standards are significantly lowered, as mine are, by nearly four solid days of dieting, then I recommend that you give it a try.

Comments (33)

Aw, you poor thing! I hope you feel better soon.

Okay, so it looks like the internet ate my first comment, so I'll try again?
It went something like this: Aww, you poor thing! get better soon!
(And imagine that, thirty seconds later, I still mean it!)

For years I was hearing/reading about Teddy Grahams and graham crackers and so one day I looked them up.

Teddy grahams are the Australian equivalent of Tiny Teddies and graham crackers are digestive biscuits which we'd eat coated with chocolate on one side and call them Chocolate Wheatens.

It bugged me for so long.

If teddy grahams taste as good as tiny teddies then I can understand the lapse :D

I understand what you mean about the lowering of your food standards. When I was doing South Beach, and discovered I could have Coke Zero, and if I drank it really fast I couldn't taste it so much? But at least I got my carbonated fix? Yes, that was sad.

I so proud of your french braiding abilities. My mom never knew how to french braid, either, and so I would beg a certain babysitter to do it for me. One time I put a shower cap over it, so I could sleep on it and wear it to school. How sad is that?

Hugs to you to get better soon. I say keep the french braid in until you get better.

I, myself, am the master of french braiding. My mom used to do mine in two, or one, or an upside down one (yeah, fancy, huh?) or many to sleep in and wake up with fluffy, crimped type hair. Ahhhh...the eighties. Alas, my french braiding skills will be wasted on my son.

If it makes you feel better, I cheated too. I was doing GREAT today until I opened the pantry to see what we needed to get at the store, and there was this huge box of soft, chewy chocolate chip cookies that my coworker gave me for my birthday. And they were YELLING at me, "If you don't eat us now, we'll be hard and yucky by tomorrow..."

Alas, I am weak. Especially under pressure.

I love you for cheating, but I love you even more for the face plant.

Yeah, I know all about lowering standards. On my last diet I ate tuna, with lemon juice, on lettuce with cherry tomatoes and those toasted almonds you can buy to put on salads. I tried to pretend it was gourmet but pretty much it was plain tuna on lettuce. *sigh* I really should be there again to get rid of this baby weight. You however look fantastic. Keep up the good work! (it's ok to cheat every once and awhile, if you didn't, you'd go insane and the diet would probably fail)

I have been eating healthier for the past few weeks. I went to the doctor earlier this week and weighed in at exactly the same amount as 6 months ago. Apparently what I eat makes no difference. I'm actually going to have to work out if I want to take off a few pounds. I hope your diet goes much better. I also hope you get to feeling better soon. Seems like you need a break.

My hair is way too slippery to french braid myself. I'm imressed you managed it. It looks like it was done well enough that it should have lasted a second day acceptably. French braiding someone else's hair is way easier.

My hair is in a perpetual ponytail or bun these days because my boy is sick. I was so, so grateful it was the other night when he managed to vomit all over me twice.

Maybe being sick will help with your diet? I can hear the pounds dropping off.

Teddy Grahams aren't too bad. Not as bad as a chocolate sundae.

Hope you feel better soon.

I can't french braid at all ~ I can't do anything to my own hair without getting a weird cramp in my arms from holding them up or in bizzare positions for too long.

Teddy Grahams are addictive little buggers ~ especially the chocolate chip ones...but we try to stick to the regular old honey ones these days. :)

Hope you're feeling better soon ... sick ain't no fun. If it makes you feel any better about your faceplant, I almost did a total face plant off the front steps this afternoon while holding MsMiss. Somehow I managed to stay upright after missing the step, and step down the three steps all at once in the process. Thereby not dropping MsMiss on the concrete walkway - which would have been a Bad Thing.

Oh yeah, and diets suck. I have tried in the past (and though there is much weight to lose) I will not try again. Nature will take its course, and that's life.

You're looking fabulous by the way (for a sick person, that is) ... just think ... being sick usually takes a few pounds off you ... and you get to take credit for that!

mmm...teddy grahams...
it's a slippery slope...from one...to four...to handfuls...it's the story of my life!

I thought teddy grahams were actually fairly healthy,.. so maybe it's kinda like feeling guilty for eating a vitamin that tastes like candy.

Besides, you need a bit of extra energy to get better soon:0) (Wasn't that a smooth way of slipping that in? I'm fairly proud of myself here...)

The teddy graham slip and face plant just let us know you're human and one of us. Hoping you feel better soon :-)

Teddy Grahams aren't so bad for you. It's just when you dip them in cans of frosting that they become unhealthy. (According to me.)

sadly, i think my standards ARE that lowered. i'm on day 8. not a jujube has passed my lips.

i want a medal from God, though, for this...i'm not sure fat-free cheese is going to cut it. perhaps i will make a medal out of the cheese, since i apparently am badly in need of a life AND some sense of reward.

as for the French braid, dude, leave it in all week and tell people you're trying for dreadlocks.

I just added Teddy Grahams to my grocery list.

I manage two perfect weeks (and I mean perfect - I didn't even lick my fingers when I made cookies with my cub scouts)on South Beach Phase 1 and then a pretty good week on Phase 2 and then it's been zingers and chocolate and all sorts of bad stuff. I lost 14 pounds in the fist two weeks. I suppose I'd have more incentive to get back on the wagon if I'd put any of that weight back on, but alas, down another 1/2 pound. Every morning I wake up ready to start phase 1 again and then the chocolate chips start calling my name and . . . well you know how it goes after that.

I'm sick too. It's really really sucks. That's all I have to say.

Oh, dieting. I have, with my "maturing metabolism" come to realize that even with the strictest diet and exercise that what I can hope for is not to gain weight.

Le sigh.

I'm with Jen here. Enjoy the teddy grahams and feel better!

Blogger playdate?

Man, I'm jealous!!

I love your excuses. I think I'll keep them to use at a future date.

Heh. I sometimes eat tuna straight out of the can when I'm at work. I can't even begin to imagine the greatness of tuna with cheese and lettuce...and I'm sure my co-workers can't even begin to imagine the greatness of me not eating tuna straight out of the can.

I know this may sound like a commercial, its not meant to be, honest. I am on my 54th week of weight watchers and those teddy grahams are okay! Anything is okay, if you count it! Weight watchers will teach you portion control and make you aware of what foods are just NOT worth it. I follow the flex plan because I still like some junk food in my diet, but they also have the core plan that allows you to eat very healthy unprocessed foods. You might like it being a sorta vegetarian. Anyway I have lost 126lbs doing WW and it does work if you work the program. Online is very reasonable costwise. Ummm...now I really am sounding like a commercial. Just remember when you are dieting to forgive yourself those little slips and get right back to following the program. Goodluck.!

i can not believe that you are dieting -- you totally do not appear to need to (unless you've photoshopped your photos!). seriously, you looked amazing and so skinny - what gives with the dieting?

I've succomb to the sickness today. Thank God Little-E is napping. I think my body is about to implode.

Hope you're feeling better!

I'm convinced fat free cheddar is nothing but pretty rubber warmed over.

And yeah, lettuce leaves rock.

Love(d) the braid. I can't do it - just regular boring braids for me!

Good luck on that dieting thing. Phewy!

Eat Less Diet. That's what my husband is trying out. We are pretty much eating the same amount of food for many meals which is starting to scare me. I'm 100 lbs. and Brandon is 215 lbs., and eating MY portion size!?! What the?

I believe in portion size and stocking up on snacky stuff you don't really like. I LOVE Cheezit, so instead I bought Trader Joe's 100 calorie pack cheese crackers because I don't like it as much so I won't eat it all. Yet my salt/cheese craving is satisfied. Heh.

Also, if you keep the braid in for a long time -- spray it with water before bed -- your hair will come out curly in the morning! You'll love it!

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So the Fish Said...

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