This is gross. Don't ever say I didn't warn you.
Sometimes, after Mia has finished eating and I have cleaned her up as best I can (child refuses to wear a bib, don't you know, I mean tears and terror refuses) I will find a little scrap of shredded cheese or a cheerio or half a slice of pear adhering somewhere to her clothing. And sometimes, if the meal was very recent and the item in question fairly pristine and I am in the middle of a rousing game of buckle and far from the sink or trash can I just... well... sometimes I just grab whatever it is and eat it. Just to be expeditious, you understand, and so as not to upset my moody toddler by OH MY GOD LEAVING THE ROOM MUST SCREAM AND SPOUT TEARS THAT ACTUALLY FLY FROM THE SIDE OF MY FACE LIKE IN SOME CARTOON, which sometimes gets Mia a little cranky. Yeah, it's little gross, but not nearly as gross as a poopy diaper explosion, which we had yesterday for the first time in probably a year and boy howdy, I had forgotten how much fun it is to get a squirmy kid out of a poopy onesie without getting poop in her hair. Good times, good times.
Anyway, yesterday, right after lunch, Mia was playing in the living room and eating grapes while I cleaned up the kitchen, and when I went out to join her I noticed that she had a skinless bit of grape stuck to her shirt, so I went to grab it and yes, most likely to just eat it as well because, as we have established, I'm nasty like that. And then realized just in the very nick of time before my fingers made contact and began the automatic journey to my mouth that I may or may not have been able to stop in time that it was not, in truth, a bit of grape. Oh no, it was a big, post-sneeze glob of snot.
Oh yeah, I'm hott. You want me.