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Things making me giggle

1) The people who felt the need to chastise me for yesterday's post. If you don't like it, fine, don't read it, but lecturing an adult about swearing? Get over yourself.

2) The older guy at the gym last night who asked me to read something off the treadmill to him. See, I think he was hitting on me a little bit. Oooohhhh baby, I'm so turned on by men who need bifocals.

2b) But hey, that was the first time I've been hit on, even a little bit, in a long time. So, um, I'll take it.

3) That Mia has decided she loves grapes, but only the first bite. She bites off a chunk, eats it happily, and then drops the grape and it is forevermore dead to her. Anybody want a bunch of half-eaten grapes? I can let you have some, cheap.

Comments (27)

Maybe if we combined Mia's half eaten grapes with Miss A's half eaten bananas we could come up with a whole toddler friendly fruit salad. :)

I got hit on today too! A very non-English speaking gentleman asked me if he could tell me something about my eyes...I said sure...he told me they were britty. I'm hoping he meant "pretty". I'll pass on those grapes, but thanks Cocksucker!

One time a guy was hitting on me and trying to impress me by telling me he was a freshman at Kent State during - well, Kent State. (You know the anti-Vietnam War, cops beating the crap out of the students part.)

I was doing the math in my head and I decided he could be my Dad.

Dude, you rock, you actually got hit on? All I get is blank stares anymore... or disgusted looks. And yesterdays post? Comedy gold! Also, the half eaten grape situation... does she do it with grapes cut in half? Shepherd will only eat a grape cut in half.

#1 wouldn't make me giggle, it would make me crabby and pissed. You TOTALLY SAID you were going to do a post featuring that word, and I don't remember you tying down ANYONE and forcing them to read it. Unless you did, and I just didn't see it. Because THAT would be wrong. Not letting me see it, I mean.

I guess getting hit on is similar to getting carded at the liquor store for men?

My booger has an controllable taste for bread.
She can't seem to get enough.
I am worried, but not too much.
She feels the same way about bananas.

TV

oh-my-gosh Haleigh does that with the grapes, and everything else! We have told her so many times to take "little bites" that she is afraid to take more than that first small bite. I find bowls of half-eaten cherry tomatoes, grapes, french fries, tater tots... too funny!

That grape thing is hilarious! Reminds me of the time in kidergarden when we were planning a Thanksgiving celebration. One boy in my class helped to make the fruit salad. He asked how big to make the oragne slices and my teacher said "bite sized pieces" sooooo. . .he took bites of the oranges and spit them in the salad. Doing exactly what she "told" him to do!

My mom told me this story when I got older because my teacher told the parents. Now it's just too cute!

1) Fuck the cocksuckers if they can't take a joke.

Freedom of speech, Cocksuckers :)

Did you call them cocksuckers? Because I would love you even more than I already do if you did!!

We know he was hitting on you because you're hott and have a smokin' ass. Don't need bifocals to see that!!

Hey, how about cutting all the grapes in half? Maybe Mia could be tricked. ;)

At least Mia limits it to grapes. My little cocksucker daughter (that sounds really really bad) (I should go back and delete that) (I'm not gonna) only eats one bite of every freakin' thing we give her. French fries, green beans, slices of cheese...you name it.

people lectured you? Wow, Beth that's some new level of blogging I'd say you've reached.

Con-fucking-gratu-cocksucking-lations.

It's not quite the same, but when my brother was very small, he would blow his nose and then throw the tissue over his shoulder and go on about his business. I sort of picture Mia biting grapes in half and spitting the leftovers over her shoulder like that.

I can't believe people chastised you.

Oh gee Beth, I hope you aren't pissed at me. I was only joking with you yesterday about the cocksucker thing. I thought it was hilarious because my hubby says I talk like a truck driver all the time (they probably don't talk near as dirty as me).
If I am the one who pissed you off, then I am really sorry. Honest.

Omg.. I'm just imagining all the people reading your blog yesterday and their heads exploding everytime you said the word cocksucker! haha!! *falls over laughing*

Geez, it's not like your reader's are all under the age of 15! Although my children love the pretty fish, I'm pretty sure they didn't even notice all the cocksuckers!

So does this mean that there is going to be an addition to your already full lineup of Hotty Pediatrician and Hotty McBanktellersons?

Perhaps we should name him Grody McBifocalsons?

You make me giggle, my friend -- like, all the time! Thanks for it! :)

I think I got checked out by two guys in a moving truck the other day. I'm with you, I'll take it.

And my best friend's daughter used to chew up the grapes and spit out the skins. Wherever she happened to be standing.

I had a guy (and young one, who was kinda hot!) in Mexico tell me that my gray hair was just beautiful. I had a Spanish speaker with me and she confirmed. I was rather confused.

Now my hair is red.

Someone's taking you to task for swearing? Obviously someone who doesn't stay home with little kids. I'm just saying.

In regards to #1, feel free to abuse the disclaimer I recently came up with after getting some interesting judgment on a recent post.

Warning: The following is my opinion about _______ or (cocksuckers, in your case), by reading this you may experience one or more of the listed symptoms: diarrhea, because--let's be honest, they all have this as a side effect, vomiting, headache, anger, laughter, tears, agreement, disagreement, your own opinion, and/or an intense desire to bash the writer over the head.

Hee hee :D

#1 Fuck 'em if they take life too seriously.

#2 Did you have a tear in your workout clothes? ;-)

now look here, cocksucker ...

(Um, that's all. I just wanted to say, 'cocksucker'. heh heh heh)

First place, it's your blog.
Second place, it's your blog.

I could go on but I'd be repeating myself.

I hope it's okay to wish my Elcie a happy 14th here because I just did.

Have a great weekend, y'all.

those arseholes need to lighten the fuck up. for reals...

was he a hot older guy? or are we talking dentures and bow legs kinda old?!

Awww, c'mon give those poor people a break that felt they needed to chastise you... they were only looking out for your best interests. I mean after that post, do you think you have ANY chance of working on... say... John Edwards campaign team without that cocksucker William Donohue screaming for your being fired? ;)

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So the Fish Said...

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