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Where I get a little ranty

Ok first, Ali tagged me for this music meme thing where you are supposed to list seven songs that you are into right now. And since I love Ali in a slightly inappropriate manner, I'll do it. My playlist these days goes something like this:

1. The Wheels on the Bus
2. Choo-Choo-Choo-Choo Up the Railroad Track
3. Baby Shark
4. Itsy-Bitsy Spider
5. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
6. When I'm 64 (Mia loves The Beatles)
7. Frog Went A'Wooing

Now actually, maybe you guys can help me out with that last one. Mia loves the song, and I like it too. They play it at her gym and I would love to find a recording but have no idea who sings it and of course will never bring myself to just ask. I've been googling like crazy and found lots of recordings, but none that seem to be the exceedingly child-friendly version I am looking for. (I don't think the Dylan version will be quite the same.) Anyway, it may be under another title, but some of the lyrics are:

Frog went walking on a summer's day, uh-huh
Frog went walking on a summer's day, uh-huh
Frog went walking on a summer's day
He met Miss Mousy on the way
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Can you name that tune? I would be much obliged.


Second, Ali (again) and Jodi and Multi-Tasking Mommy all tagged me for a "Real Moms Meme." Stolen straight from Jodi's site, "Here are the rules, put up a post 'Real Moms [insert what you do here]', followed by an explanation, a picture, and a 'Real Moms. Making ....'. Then tag five people."

Now, these three women are all lovely and amazing and I want to make out with them on a regular basis, so this is nothing at all against them, but the more I thought about this meme the more it pissed me off. I mean, I assume the point is to say something I do, thereby identifying myself as a "real mom." In contrast to what, exactly? Fake moms? Pretend moms? Moms with whose parenting styles or philosophies I disagree, thereby making myself a better mother and morally superior by claiming that "real moms" do it my way? Fuck no.

When I was a newborn, some horrible neighbor lady told my mother that she would never know what it was like to be a real mom because I was born via cesarean. My mom wanted to know why the hell my "real mom" wasn't pitching in with the 4 AM feedings. I know people who have been told that they are not "real moms" because their babies were born thanks to assisted reproduction or via gestational surrogates or to other people entirely, and I call bullshit on all of that. I've also heard you are not a "real mom" if you don't stay home to "raise your kids" or that you aren't a "real mom" if you give up your own career and ambitions to be at home. Bullshit again.

Moms are moms, and sometimes dads are moms or grandmas are moms or friends are moms or total strangers become moms. Some kids have lots of moms and some have one or none, but mothering is mothering and most of us are just trying to do the best we can and don't need to hear that because we don't do what "real moms" do we aren't doing it right. I won't do it. I may not agree with how you mother the children you mother, but I will do my damnedest to never cut you down for how you mother, and I would appreciate the hell out of it if you did the same for me.


Finally, I have a confession. I hate memes. I don't like to do them, I almost never read them when somebody else does them, and I cringe every time I see that I have been tagged. So I'm going on the record. If you like memes, more power to you, and I sincerely thank you for thinking of me, but please don't tag me, because I'm not going to do it. There, I said it, and I feel so much better now.

Comments (51)

I had the same struggle with the Real Mom meme. I could see what it was SUPPOSED to be, but it seemed like the execution of the idea required making divisions, and saying that if you DON'T do this thing, you AREN'T a real mom.

I only like memes if they aren't 50 billion questions long - most of them go on forever!

While I had never seen the meme and have no real problem with it, I've lived the real mom question first hand.

Two of my children entered our family through adoption. The real mom question is peppered to me and my children now and then. I normally go through the nice education answer and explain about birth moms and yada yada, but ulitmately here is the answer for adoptive moms and birth moms-

We are both the real mom. It's not a competition.

I am not a big meme-person myself - but I got tagged for the Real Mom meme (from Jodi as a matter of fact), and I did it.

But I tagged all the non-Moms who read my blog. Because I figure there are two sides to the equation really, and anybody's opinion as to what a "real mom" constitutes is equally valid.

We may not all be moms, but we were all somebody's kid once...

I always thought it was "froggy went a walking". You can't find it under that title? maybe you're looking for a specific person singing it?

I'm not sure I like the direction in which the frog song is heading; out for a walk, meets Miss Mouse, woo-ing ensues, heavy petting, unplanned pregnancy, shotgun wedding, trailer park livin'....

It all seems so complicated for a childrens' song.

Does Jack Johnson sing a cover of the froggie song? I didn't google it so I don't know. Lately, I keep hearing about his kids cd's so I thought maybe he might.
As for being a real mom, I agree 100% with you, but there were months back there in the beginning when I wondered if I was a "real" mom because I have birth the Sydney by C Section. And I wish more women would post the topic as you did to inspire conversation. (But not in meme format) This stuff needs to be said.

I know the Froggy song, though the one that immediately comes to mind seems to be the Dylan version. I think my sister and I might have had it on a children's record when we were very young, I've put in a call to my parents and I'll let you know what I find out. Sadly, I'm a geek with this kind of stuff and can tell you it's an English folk song that dates back to Scotland in the 16th century, but I'm pretty sure that's not the information Mia was hoping for.

note taken. no more tags for Beth ;)

but now i will totally make out with you since you hate memes and still did mine! you're awesome.

I think its originally called Frog Went A'Courtin or something like that. Here's the wikipedia entry so you can know more than I'm sure you ever wanted to: The end mentions a Burl Ives kid-friendly recording. Hope that helped a little!

Well-I tried finding that song but there are soooo many versions. I did find this: WEBSITE which lists a bunch of versions. It might be helpful because it lists artist, year, genre the song falls into, cds it might be on...At the bottom of the list is a ton of kids/baby cds that have the song on it. Maybe you could ask the gym if they have any of those cds? Sorry I couldn't REALLY help.

The Wiggles have a song called "A Frog Went Walking" on iTunes. The 30 second clip sounded really nice. I had no idea there were so many different versions of this song.

Of course my mom called me back as soon as I hit post on that last comment. I was right, I had it on record as a kid. It's on an album called "Burl Ives Sings Little White Duck (And Other Children's Favorites)" originally released in the 1950s, and is available on CD from Amazon- complete with audio samples so you might be able to see if it's what you're looking for. Hope this helps.

Froggy went a-courtin'. We have it on a nice little cd that came from a set by (I'm running out to my car to see who makes it) Sunny Day Studios. It's a 4-pack called "Sing-Along Songs and Stories for Kids." When I got it, I was very very afraid to listen for the first time, but I actually really like it- the "Farm Songs" cd especially.

And this? This is why I love you so much Beth and why I keep coming back here everyday.

Also, I'm fond of the Baby Shark song myself.

Laurie Berkner has a version of Frog Went A Courtin' on one of her cd's too... My girls really love it.

Hi Beth
What about Burl Ives? He did a lot of kids songs and voice overs for kids shows back in the day. I think his official title was Mr. Froggie went a courtin'

I'm pretty sure it's "Froggy Went a'courtin'"

Sorry, didn't know!

Well-I tried finding that song but there are soooo many versions. I did find this: WEBSITE which lists a bunch of versions. It might be helpful because it lists artist, year, genre the song falls into, cds it might be on...At the bottom of the list is a ton of kids/baby cds that have the song on it. Maybe you could ask the gym if they have any of those cds? Sorry I couldn't REALLY help.

I actually despise the word meme, so I certainly would never fill one out. For some reason, it's one of those words, acronymns, what have you, that simply rub me the wrong way. Kind of like the phrase "tooling" as in "we were tooling around the park". WTF were you doing in the park??!! The words...they just make me want to slap people.

Froggy went-a-courtin- Bob Dylan
Woodie Guthrie also did a version of it.

A popular children's singer Laurie Berkner does a cute rendition of it. In fact, her whole album is kinda cute, and Mia would probably love a song called "Skakin Down the Sugar" that she does. I bought my copy here:

I wish I could help you with the frog song. I don't really like memes either.

I think I love you. No, wait...yup, that's what I thought...I totally do. *smooch!*


It is "Froggy went a courting" and Laurie Berkner does have a version out.

I was just outside singing "the wheels on the bus" my 1 yr old looked at me cross eyed but my 2 1/2 yr old joined in, sure all my neighbors were loving that.

I just wanted to post a thank you to you. I found your blog yesterday through Sundry's. I just finished reading all of the archives and am up-to-date. You are a wonderful writer and Mia is adorable, and I'm so glad I found your site. Certainly gave me something to do last night; damn insomnia.

Somebody may have mentioned this already, but I think that tune is actually "Froggy Went a'Courtin'." I haven't searched, but there's probably quite a few versions available. That's a good'un.

Look up Pete Seeger's version of Froggie Went a Courtin'. My son loves just about anything by him.

don't know if that link will work, but give it a try

also Bruce Springsteen does a mean version of Froggie Went a Courtin' on the Seeger Sessions.

(I hate memes too)

If you want to hear the Laurie Berkner version, check out the URL I entered. :)

o, 'cept it didn't like my URL. sad. try this: Berkner-Froggie Went A-Courtin'.wma

I didn't do MeMe for the same reason with yours, but I don't know why I feel like I like it.

Here's my Real Moms Meme

I cried when I read this post. What Mom hasn't questioned whether she is a "real mom" because (Insert insecurity here). So, I wondered if there was at least one thing that Mom's all do. And what I came up with was...



When Moms stop judging each other or cutting each other down, imagine what we could do with the time.
We could rule the world!

I highly recommend the Laurie Berkner version of "Froggy Went A Courtin'" because I always sort of bristled at the original version's antifeminist message (Froggy shows up at Miss Mousy's house banging on the door and calling for her, she's just sitting inside spinning, and he immediately proposes. Her response is only "Without my Uncle Rat's consent, I would not marry the president"- does she have no input regarding getting married?!) Laurie reworked some of the lyrics, and I like them much better. Also, the CD I have it on ("Victor Vito")has some other great tunes.

The idea, I think, is that we, as moms, are trying to show that every mom IS a real mom, and that this meme is a way of showing that we all have different ideas of what a "real" mom is. It's a way to celebrate our differences and still have something in common.

Thank you for this...

I am neutral on meme's in general I suppose but I DO tend to harbor deep searing hatred for the phrase 'real [insert whatever]'. Aside from the philisophical discussions (What is real?) that could go on all day, it just smacks of 'I'm better than you because...'

Further, to have you, who seems to have 'done it right', rant out in support of those of us who have done things 'outside the norm' really made my day.

Thanks again...

I really only do memes if I like them, or if I am completely out of things to write about and am desperate for content.

And I love the Baby Shark song! It's always a hit with little kids, and fun to do because it's so exaggerated. Speaking of kids' songs, I just ordered a CD by Elizabeth Mitchell - she's awesome. Someone made me a mix CD with her version of "Three Little Birds" and I couldn't stop singing it. It's really good and not annoying at all.

Stacie beat me to it. Burl Ives has done some children's records which have been copied to cd. I grew up with them and they probably drove my mom nuts. I've been running over his lyrics in my head and I can't think of anything objectionable except for "sword and a pistol by his side".

And someone else beat me to Pete Seeger. I'm really showing my age.

It was definitely Froggy Went A Courtin.

I've stayed away from the "real moms" meme because I didn't know what to say.

Am I a mom because I do everything connected with the job with the girls? Of course I am to my kids but the youngest is 34 and the oldest 50. Still, we never stop being mom. And I agree, grandmas and great-grandmas (me) can be moms. Thanks for pointing that out.

I post memes from time to time and I usually answer them when I'm tagged. I never tag anyone though. Just say anyone who wants to join in, feel free.

I think the spirit of the meme was to show that moms are real people. They're not some fictional perfect "MOM", but a human. as well as being a mom of some sort or another.

That said, I haven't done it, because I can't think of anything original.

I was sure "Jesus Loves Me" or "Michael Row the Boat Ashore" was going to be on that list.


I remember the "froggy went a courtin and he did ride a sword and pistol by his side uh-huh!" oh and the "what will the wedding supper be something something and a black eyed pea uh-huh" Ok so not much help but I do love the song

I remember the Sword and Pistal version too, He rode up to Ms. Mousy's door where he had often been before, makes me think they had a long relaionship. :) he did, however sit her on his knee and say, "Ms. Mousy, will you marry, me" uh huh, uh hoo oo, lol too funny.

I hear you on the rant ... but would only offer that if you meant that a SAHD was doing the mom thing ... then I would disagree with you on principle ... its just being a parent ... that special mix of caregiver with parental love. Each person brings there own special personality to the job ... I'd venture to say that gender has less to do with it than basic personality. Basic job tasks like wiping noses and hugging? That anyone can master ... but the intangible stuff that you bring to the mix is what makes being a stay-at-home-Parent a rewarding experiance. Of course, if you had something else in mind, I'm happy to stand corrected ...

Now, in honesty, I have seen a number of mom's participating in that meme. I really didn't take notice of it but I have to say how right you are.

I am adopted. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked if I was going to try and find my "real mother." I have always replied "Find her? I know exactly where she is, why would I need to find her?"

While I guess I owe a certain debt of gratitude to my biological link that gave me life, she certainly isn't MY MOM.

I'm sure it's already been said..but I think it's Froggy went a Courtin'.

Am I retarded for admitting that I like to read memes?? I think it's a good way to get to know a person better.

(Hangs head in shame.)

My mom and I listen to Burl Ives' version of froggy went ' courtin

My mom and I listen to Burl Ives' version of froggy went ' courtin

I didn't read all comments thoroghly, but skimmed. Sorry if I'm repeating...

While I agree totally on memes and tagging and all that (not that I've ever been tagged or would even know how it's done because no one reads my blog but my nosy mother-in-law and she's pretty irritated that I haven't posted about her only grandchild since November [gulp]) because tagging always reminds me of high school and slam books and showing off how many friends you have and how cool you are. Not that anyone who has done it is like that. Don't mean to offend anyone at all. But, still. Come on, it reeks of cliqueiness.

Anyhow, on to the point of my comment: I didn't read the "real moms ____" as being opposed to other mothers who are somehow less than real. I read it as celebrating motherhood as it is in reality, as opposed to what media would have us believe it is, and strive for. Think Deborah Barone. She is thin, cute, always in clean clothes that fit well, always wearing makeup and always talking with her husband, laundry basket on her hip, with no children in sight. And her house is clean and there are no boogers on her couch.

Or the woman in the skinny black pants showing me how to do post-natal yoga in the photo spread of Parenting Magazine. 6 weeks after giving birth is apparently when you should get your abs toned. Sorry, but f@#k her.

So I say, for me, "Real moms brush the crumbs off the newborn's head and onto the couch when she marathon breastfeeds and renourishes with a freshly baked box mix chocolate cake that she made her husband make because I-have-a-baby-stuck-to-my-tit-again, damnit!"

It is called "Froggie went a courtin'" and the Bob Dylan version on GOOD AS I BEEN TO YOU is very kid friendly methinks :) Bruce Springsteen just did a version on his Pete Seeger Tribute album called WE SHALL OVERCOME, which is just a great album anyways. There's some great stuff on the Grisman/Garcia album called NOT FOR KIDS ONLY too, in particular SALLY JENKINS, which has the same kinds of motif going on.

Lil' piece of cornbread laying on a shelf uh-huh
Lil' piece of cornbread laying on a shelf uh-huh
Lil' piece of cornbread laying on a shelf
If you want any more, you can sing it yourself
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh ...

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So the Fish Said...

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