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Great big dorky Sunday

On Sunday morning, I went running. I haven't gone running in over 5 years, and when I used to run it was on an indoor track with one of those big digital clocks on the wall so I would spend the whole time obsessing about running a nine minute mile and at the end of the mile I would fall down and die. The farthest I ever managed to run at once was a mile and a half, or maybe just maybe and only the once two miles.

So I went running on Sunday, and about five minutes in started thinking about how I should stop. But then I couldn't figure out why I should stop - I could still breathe, nothing really hurt, I was doing ok except for this idea that I should stop. I ended up literally talking myself through it, and I mean it was a total Loser Soliloquy. Things like "you can do it, Beth!" and "you are doing great, Beth!" and "wow, you are totally rocking this running thing!" And oh yes, every bit of this was out loud, because doing it in my head just wasn't cutting it. I was like my own personal cheering section peopled entirely with massive dorks.

However, I ran for 34 minutes, 2.62 miles, and at the end didn't even feel like I needed to lie down and vomit. And yes, that means I was doing 13 minute miles which means that you can probably walk a mile faster than I can run it. I'm slow, and I'm dorky, but I still think I totally rocked the running thing. I even got a blister, of which I am incredibly proud.

And then (although after a shower, of course) we went to dinner at Sarah's and Gabe made us this fabulous pasta that didn't even come out of a box, and I didn't know people actually did that, and Claudia had an entire conversation with me which was the highlight of my week because it is my goal in life to get that kid to like me, and I was still in dork mode and kept right on dorking out. I was all OMG! I love you shoes! And I love your dishes! And I love your forks! And I love your wine! And hey, gimme some more of that wine and I'll probably start gushing about how much I love your dishwasher and your outlet covers! And they were totally nice about how much cooler than us they are and didn't let on at all that they secretly thought they were slumming with the dorks. Oh, and Claudia called Mia "Mia Bean," which is what I call her roughly 99.98% or the time so it's obvious how she picked that up but I thought it was just about the cutest thing ever heard anywhere in the history of time and you have to admit I'm probably pretty close to right about that.

Ok, enough dorkiness. I'm going to go back to admiring my leg muscles. Granted, they are entirely covered by a layer of flab, but if you poke around enough you can find them. Hey, maybe that's how I got all these bruises.

Comments (30)

This is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. I run, or try to, most mornings. This despite my very large thighs and larger, expanding belly. I'm pregnant and big and not-as-embarrassed-as-I-should-be-to-be-seen-in-shorts. But? I feel so much better afterward. And on days I run, I'm much less likely to nag my husband about something stupid. So what I'm saying is, you are totally not a dork because HEY! you ran for 34 minutes!

All you were missing was the big group of cheerleaders waving their pom-poms and screaming "Go Beth! Give me a B-E-T-H! Go Beth!" It would have made you run faster just to get away from them.

When you start humming the "Rocky" theme in time with your steps, you'll know you've achieved dork nirvana.


Good job you! Nothing wrong with running 34 minutes. So what if you're slow? Not everyone can take the same pace. Your stride, length of legs etc. come into play. Pay less attention to the number of minutes it takes to run a mile and focus on just running. Or walking fast. Either should be fine.

Soooo, you gonna get one of those cute running strollers and start taking Mia with you?

You almost ran a 5K on your first try! Way to go! I am super jealous as I was only able to run about four minutes straight my first try. Even now the most I have ever run at a time was 5 miles with my husband and the baby in the car driving beside me (sshhhhh don't tell anyone what dorks we are) and also that was after training for about four months. Anyway, congratulations! Be proud of yourself.

You totally rocked that running thing! When I first start a running plan, I run for about 10 seconds and then sit down on the side of the road for 10 minutes, and then another 10 seconds of running and 10 minutes of sitting, and so on. And then I go home and eat half a gallon of ice cream to cool down.

Good for you. I used to run. That was back inthe days when I still had knees and hips that didn't hurt all the time. I even ran 2 10 k road races and I finished without dying! Now I am old and I think watching is fun!

Go you! It's hard to get out there and run, so you've done a fine job. Eventually you'll get faster, but I wouldn't worry about that right now!

I probably couldn't run 34 minutes if my life depended on it ;-)

I love pasta. What was in the dish?

That's awesome! You should be really proud of yourself! Why don't you sign up for a 5K for some charity you support that will inspire you to keep running? then you're helping yourself and others at the same time.... Small Change and all that : )

Good for you! I was very proud of myself that one time when I ran for 34 seconds.

That's great. I'm getting back into this running thing too after having K.

Are you kidding? You brought wine. That is all we ask for in life.

Well, and some beer maybe.

Way to go, Beth! You made my knees hurt just reading that! I'd love to run (or so I think), but I just can't. Did you ever get the new running shoes you were looking at when you had your "spend it on myself $100"?

you mean that's not her name?
mia bean cactus-fish?

You DO totally rock, Beth! That is awesome. What I hate when I run is the full body tingle with all that blood rushing through my system - and I'm itchy - and I just want to QUIT! So I think that 34 minutes is dang good.

I am jealous that you got to go out with adults and have dinner and wine and adult conversation.

Oh, and I am sure I couldn't run that 2.62 miles as fast as you. I hate running.

See, I can only run for three minutes in a row before I fall down and die. So you? You totally rock the running thing. Way to go you!!!

Hey, good job with the running! I always say I'm going to, but it seems like an awfully big thing to start.

That's fantastic news on the running! You use the same techniques as me to get you through. I always tell myself there is no need to stop and if I do it will just mean the run will be even longer time-wise. Wll done to you!

I HATE running.... But, it's a great way to lose weight fast. Wow 34 mins. SO impressive. Make sure you're stretching and wearing good shoes so you don't get what I ALWAYS get from running (well, erm, walking fast): shin splints. Keep it up!

I've run two miles.

In ten years combined. Yeah, you kick ass.

I'm very impressed. Especially about the blister. You kept running even with a blister?

Two words for the blister: Moleskin. word.

Wow! I think running a 13 minute mile is great! Good for you!

I totally get your whole "I think I should stop running but I have no idea why" thing. I run every day (although lately I have been talking myself out of even beginning to run each day!) and every day I do what you did...I cheer for myself in my head. If you are a dork, I am a dork too. Want to go running together? I mean I guess we'd need to be in the same state first, but whatever. Those are just minor details.

Congratulations on the run, it's something to be very proud of!

THAT? Totally rocks! You are my running goddess...I'll never tell how much I can or cannot run...But you sure do rock...

Ok, so you're running now and you're all thin and gorgeous and all, but what I really want to know is if you're back to the drinking of the wine yet....

(And also - don't you just love how I disappear for a week or more and then come back and comment on all the posts I missed in one fell swooop? No?)

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