You know how that one time you just run into the grocery store in your stinky yoga pants when you haven't brushed your teeth all day or your hair in three and you had toddler snot caked on your shoulder and that is the time you run into someone you know? Yeah, that always happens to me. Well, this morning I had to run out to the store for wrapping paper and a card for a baby shower I attended today (I'm so well prepared, just like a boy scout) and I ran into one of the VPs I used to work for. But! I was dressed in fancy clothes and had my hair done and was wearing sexy heels and except for having no makeup on I was totally all dolled up, AND I have just recently lost 10 entire pounds. I am more pleased than I likely should be that, should my former VP mention to anyone that he saw me, which he certainly will mention at least to his wife, who I also know, he will probably say "Hey, I ran into Beth and she was looking pretty good."
I mean, not that I care really, but it's better than "Hey, I ran into Beth and goodness but someone has been pounding on her with the ugly stick."
And then, as if that wasn't good enough, I was chatting with the woman hosting the baby shower and we had this conversation:
Her: So, you're married and have kids?
Me: Well, one kid.
Her: You don't look old enough for that.
Her: You must have been a young mom.
Me: Not really, I was 30 when Mia was born.
Her: Huh. Good genes.
(Hey, maybe this week we'll play "How Old Do I Look?" And don't worry, you don't have to tell me I look 17 because I spent all of my 20s looking 17 and it got old. I think I would really like to look my age for once. I mean, maybe not at 50, but I don't see anything so bad about looking 32.)
Finally, since I promised, I did go to the bank on Friday and I did see Hotty McBanktellersons and he was wearing a short sleeved polo shirt and that man does have far and away the sexiest arms to ever exist anywhere in the universe. I mean, my god people, it's a thing of beauty. And big and burly is so entirely nowhere near my type, but I would really like, at some point, the opportunity to just sort of gently squeeze his forearm and possibly lick it just the tiniest bit, because I think that would be an entirely enjoyable experience.