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Happymaking things

You know how that one time you just run into the grocery store in your stinky yoga pants when you haven't brushed your teeth all day or your hair in three and you had toddler snot caked on your shoulder and that is the time you run into someone you know? Yeah, that always happens to me. Well, this morning I had to run out to the store for wrapping paper and a card for a baby shower I attended today (I'm so well prepared, just like a boy scout) and I ran into one of the VPs I used to work for. But! I was dressed in fancy clothes and had my hair done and was wearing sexy heels and except for having no makeup on I was totally all dolled up, AND I have just recently lost 10 entire pounds. I am more pleased than I likely should be that, should my former VP mention to anyone that he saw me, which he certainly will mention at least to his wife, who I also know, he will probably say "Hey, I ran into Beth and she was looking pretty good."

I mean, not that I care really, but it's better than "Hey, I ran into Beth and goodness but someone has been pounding on her with the ugly stick."

And then, as if that wasn't good enough, I was chatting with the woman hosting the baby shower and we had this conversation:

Her: So, you're married and have kids?
Me: Well, one kid.
Her: You don't look old enough for that.
Me: Thanks.
Her: You must have been a young mom.
Me: Not really, I was 30 when Mia was born.
Her: Huh. Good genes.

(Hey, maybe this week we'll play "How Old Do I Look?" And don't worry, you don't have to tell me I look 17 because I spent all of my 20s looking 17 and it got old. I think I would really like to look my age for once. I mean, maybe not at 50, but I don't see anything so bad about looking 32.)

Finally, since I promised, I did go to the bank on Friday and I did see Hotty McBanktellersons and he was wearing a short sleeved polo shirt and that man does have far and away the sexiest arms to ever exist anywhere in the universe. I mean, my god people, it's a thing of beauty. And big and burly is so entirely nowhere near my type, but I would really like, at some point, the opportunity to just sort of gently squeeze his forearm and possibly lick it just the tiniest bit, because I think that would be an entirely enjoyable experience.

Comments (18)

I wanted to be the first comment, I have nothing much too say...I am so pathetic but I am first!!! ;-)

Great luck in being dolled up and seeing someone from your former life! Most excellent!!!

I have that same feeling when people ask..."Is this your daughter?" (she is age 30) and I say "yes" and they simply can't believe I am old enough to be her mother. Love it!
Of course I was only a child when she was born! LOL

I'm fully put together every time I leave the house. Hair, makeup, not a thing amiss.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
And I'm not sure we can continue to be friends.

(dang NABBIT. I left the wrong URL in that other comment.)

Dude, you crack my shit up.

Always way better to run into exes when you're all dolled up - even if they're ex-bosses. I think you probably look around 26-27 or so. :-)

Mmm licking forearms sounds like fun

Duh. You can't tell people how old you are and then make them guess. Everyone will lie.

Bet, you look like you are 8.

This is why I have to wear long sleeves everywhere.

It's a curse.

Hooray for looking FINE when you bump into people!

Hotty McBankTellerson and his bulging arms. I know you have a cell phone capable of taking pictures. If I tell you you don't look a day over 26 will you at least post a pic of the forearm?

You are resourceful, you'll figure out a covert way.

I thank you in advance.

OMG! I am soooo with you on the arms thing. Yesterday was my daughter's wedding. The groom had quite a few friends attend, several of them fellow Marines. The entire wedding was perfect, but the icing on the cake for me was dancing with the 6'7" Marine in his dress blue uniform. I admit I squeezed his arm just a little more than was proper. *sigh* But, he told my daughter "your mom has a great rack," soooo he wins the impropriety award, I think!
Glad you ran into someone while lookin' gooood! That's always a nice thing. Congrats on the WHOLE 10 pounds too!

i thoroughly enjoy it when people think i'm 16. but then they think there's something wrong with me because i have a 6 year old. and a 4 year old. and a toddler. :)

Girl, I hear you about the 17 part. The boys are 9, 8 & almost 5. Now, since it's starting to be obvious I am pregnant again, people stare like I am 17 or something. Maybe when I'm 54 like my mom I will appreciate when people say "You are just too young to have 5 grandchildren!" But right now, it's so annoying. Like they think I'm going to tell them, "yes, I had my first when I was 15" or something. I just really thought once I passed 30 that I would actually stop looking like I was 17. Sometimes I want a t-shirt that says, "I am 32 (really!), happily married for 12 years (to the same man, even!), and yes, I know how babies are made (and I enjoy that part very much!)" or something. Totally annoying.

But one day, I'm sure it won't be. Maybe it won't be when I'm 70 ;)

I totally think you need to take a clandestine picture of the arms and post it so the rest of us can drool too. Or I suppose you could just ask him to pose and tell him it's for your blog...

"but I would really like, at some point, the opportunity to just sort of gently squeeze his forearm and possibly lick it just the tiniest bit, because I think that would be an entirely enjoyable experience."

*LOL* and JPG! JPG!!

Actually I was surprised when you mentioned the other day tht you were 32. I had thought you were like 25 or 26. Good genes indeed. You'll also be happy to know that under US Rowing definitions, you are now a lightweight.

Burly, muscled forearms! Yum! Those are wonderful things, for sure.

Um, not that I would know anything about that (**whistles innocently**).

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So the Fish Said...

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