so the fish said...
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The wrong thing to say

Chris: Are you still dieting?
Me: I've been slacking lately, but planning to go back hardcore on Monday to get ready for the beach.
Chris: Cool. Have you kept the weight off?
Me: Yeah, seven pounds!
Chris: I thought you had lost ten.
Me: Nope [you jackass], just seven [cocksucker].
Chris: Oh.
Me: [Waiting expectantly for "well you look good" or "seven is great" or "nice ass."]
Chris: [Silence.]

So, what? I'm thinking no sex for a week? Two?

Comments (24)

Punishment depends in part on the intent of his original question. If he was saying it because he had a big bag of something delicious and wanted to know if it would be okay to surprise you with it, then his only crime is in his follow-ups, and one week sounds adequate. If he brought up the topic for pretty much any other reason, two weeks. If he brought up the topic while you were eating a non-diet food, as if to remind you of what you should be doing, indefinite suspension of privileges.


A week? That's like every week around here. I'd say a month, or two.

A week seems like cruel and unusal punishment.

I don't deny the sex because then I'm just hurting myself as well.....if it were me, because I'm mean like this...ahahha - in a couple of days casually mention his love handles or weight gain...even if there is are just as self conscious as woman about weight.

I say one week for each pound he was off, so three weeks.

*Bear suddenly realizes why he hasn't had sex since, like, 2002*


I would mention that thinning spot on the back of his head (the spot that he can't see even with a mirror)...even if his hair is NOT thinning! That'll teach 'em.
Especially since you can always shed more weight but fleeting hair is not so easy to UNSHED.

I'm thinking 10 days for that "I though you had lost 10" comment. Sounds fair.

At least a week!

(In other news, I added you to my Myspace. I feel like I'm 15 again!)

No sex for a week and definitely throw in a comment about his "bald spot" or "starting to receed" hairline!

I made one tiny comment about my husbands eyebrows and he spent 3 days checking them in the mirror/plucking and trimming!

I found it humorous! haha

Ooh Chris is so in the doghouse!! Boys are just so dense sometimes :P

I thought men knew not to mention weight unless there is a really good compliment behind it. When will he learn?

Yeah at least a week, and after that, make him beg!

I'm just glad mine isn't the only husband who is such an ass at times. Guess I can quit the "suspension of priviledges" at my house :)

What an ASS. I mean, I like Chris and all but that's rude.

Maybe he meant it as "Wow, well you LOOK ten pounds smaller, I never would have guessed!"

I find life is easier if I interpret it to my advantage.

Nice ass!

I vote for three weeks.

To be fair, perhaps he thinks you look so good you maust have lost 10 pounds. And you do look nice and skinny in your Easter photo. :)

You guys have sex every week? Live it up, you silly 1-kid parents! ;)

You know I read Chris and I think what a awesome guy, loving dad, good husband.........then I read this and I remember one very important thing.

He's a man.

I think you should pleasure yourself for the next ten days in FRONT of him while looking at a picture of Clive Owen and tell him NO touching.

Hee -- you said cocksucker again! Hee! And, men have NO CLUE when it comes to weight....cocksuckers! ;) I say no sex at least until he tells you how awesome you look and that "you never needed to diet in the first place," or something sensitive like that. ;)

Yeah, well MY husband said to me a few weeks ago: "You're squishy in all the right places." Meaning, he told me afterwards, that I'm curvy where it counts.

Yeah right. Nice try pal.

So I say Bryan and Chris should be stranded together on an island somewhere until they can write poetry about how skinny we are. Sound good?

sexercise - make him help you with the loss of those three pounds.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
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