Chris: Are you still dieting?
Me: I've been slacking lately, but planning to go back hardcore on Monday to get ready for the beach.
Chris: Cool. Have you kept the weight off?
Me: Yeah, seven pounds!
Chris: I thought you had lost ten.
Me: Nope [you jackass], just seven [cocksucker].
Me: [Waiting expectantly for "well you look good" or "seven is great" or "nice ass."]
So, what? I'm thinking no sex for a week? Two?