Hey, you know what I did last night? I left Mia in the capable hands of her father and went out to dinner with a friend. You know how many times I have done that in the past two years? Once. Well, twice now, but it was only once before last night. It was lovely. No actually, it was fantastic. Sure, we spent most of the time talking about our kids, but that's a huge and welcome change from spending a meal talking about your kids while trying to get said kids to eat their grilled cheese and stop throwing ice cubes at the waitress.
So dinner was great, but it really drove home the point that oh my god I need some sort of childcare. I adore my kid, you know I do, but I also take her literally everywhere that I go, and it starts to drive you straight up the fucking wall after a while.
In other news, today is Haircut Day. Come on, when you have had as little hair removed from your head as I have in the past two years, it deserves to be capitalized. Those of you who have been playing along at home will be aware that the only reason I have let my hair get so out of control is that I have been planning to donate it to charity before it goes gray. (My parents both started going gray by 30, so I'm living on borrowed time.) So thanks for all the gentle suggestions and kind brow beatings, but I assure you that I am right there with you, no need to go on.
For the purposes of posterity and what not, I humbly offer these "before" shots, to be followed by "after" shots as soon as I leave the "oh my god, I hate my hair, I look disgusting with short hair, why did I ever cut my hair, I can't leave the house for a year until it grows out" phase, which I calculate should last a week at the outside. Anyway, before:
(The above is the only shot out of 15 or so where I managed to keep my eyes open. And now you know why I never post pictures of myself.)
I would like to take this opportunity to invite each of you to compose a stirring, deeply moving Ode to My Hair on the Occasion of Its Imminent Demise. (Dudes, was that the right its/it's? I can never remember and am too lazy to check.) I invited Chris to craft his own Ode, and his efforts left quite a bit to be desired. (Answer to everyone who asked "but won't Chris freak out if you cut your hair?": No.) I couldn't even get a decent haiku out of the guy, but the only thing he ever really notices about my appearance is whether or not I am currently naked, so I wasn't all that surprised. Those of you who don't care to draft an Ode to My Hair can just, well, for all I care you can, you know, just go ahead and go on about your lives with no skin whatsoever off my nose and my hearty congratulations for not being quite that bored and hard up for entertainment today. Naturally, those of you who are that bored and get your Odes on will thrill my shriveled little soul.