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Return of the boob talk

I am shocked, positively shocked, by the number of you who claimed you were unaware that we had boundaries. People, there is so much that I don't tell you, and I can assure you that we are all much happier that way. However, I do tend to talk about my breasts a lot, so I don't really see any reason to stop now. So, here's the tale of How Beth Got Her Boobs to Stop Feeling Like they had been Run Over Repeatedly by a Mac Truck, also known as, How I Am Stupid.

When I was pregnant with Mia, sore boobs was by far my first symptom. Well, sore and big (at least for me, which means not really big at all, just less small). I had to go buy new bras when I was about 4 minutes pregnant. This time, no so much. Not at all, in fact. Here I was all knocked up and stuff, and my boobs were stubbornly remaining just my regular old (rather small, a bit flattened from a year of nursing, and frankly also slightly uneven) boobs. (And hey, don't you all totally want to sweet talk me out of my shirt now? I know you do.)

It was actually a little worrisome. Ok, it was a lot worrisome. Early on, I had a week or so of mild nausea, and then nothing for about two weeks. I felt fine, great actually. No nausea, wasn't especially tired, no gas (the other major first trimester issue of my first pregnancy) and decidedly un-sore boobs. It was worrisome to the point that I basically convinced myself, based strictly on my boobs, that the parasite was dead. I wish I was exaggerating, but not in the slightest. I was pretty firmly convinced for a while there, to the point that I sort of gently told Chris about it, just so that he wouldn't be too shocked when we got the news.

And then the nausea came back, and I decided that maybe the baby-thing wasn't so dead after all, and that was good, but I never really shook the feeling until my next OB appointment and sonogram showed little arm buds and leg buds and a cheerfully beating heart. It was a long 5 weeks.

And then this week, at long last and rather suddenly, my boobs hurt like crazy. Constantly, no relief possible, and it was the exact opposite of helpful that I have a two year old who always manages to elbow or head butt or plain old punch me right in the melons, and oh man, I was just in agony. I was kicking myself for being so eager to have sore boobs early on, because I was clearly getting my comeuppance.

And then on Wednesday night, I noticed something. In the shower, which for some reason is slightly more information than I am truly comfortable sharing, but which is also I suppose the most appropriate place to make such a discovery and I don't want you walking around thinking that I just fondle myself at random times throughout the day. Not that I don't, I'm just trying to provide a logical explanation so that you don't have to have that picture in your head if you don't want it. (Um, if you do want that picture in your head, let's not tell me about it, ok?) Anyway, I discovered in the shower on Wednesday night that, in the past no more than a week or so, I have added about a cup size. And of course, I had been cramming my suddenly bodacious (again, for me, and therefore not at all for anyone else) ta-tas into my same old bras, and presto ta-da! Searing boob pain. Which was gone, entirely gone, by Thursday courtesy of a bigger bra.

And let's see... yes. Yes, I do think that is definitely enough information about my boobs to hold all of us for several more months. I'll be sure to keep you up to speed on any fascinating updates, but otherwise let's just move on to other subjects until it is time for me to start bitching about how much the first few days of breastfeeding really fucking hurt a fucking lot like a fucking big fucking dog. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that too.

Comments (38)

My boobs hurt SO much for a couple of weeks that I really prayed they'd fall off (no, really). I remember driving on a road trip about 3 weeks back and distinctly thinking that I could FEEL them growing. I think I might have been right. At 14 weeks, they are a FULL size bigger...and still growing.

Needless to say...husband (MD) is not upset over this. Not at all.

I don't think you talk nearly enough about your boobs.

Now I can sleep, Beth. I've been so concxerned about those boobs of yours!

I remember in my first trimester with my daughter, I literally had to hold my boobs to go up steps, down steps, over bumps in the car, or if I stood up too fast. They hurt that badly. So, yeah, I basically cupped myself for three months.

And I never got any bigger. Eff that, man. :)

The boob thing is frightening for us small boobed people. My enlarged ta-tas have given me a whole new respect for the "full figured" woman. These things hurt, flop around, get in the way, and are extremely distracting for the male in the household. However, getting the right size bra does help with the pain.

Also, my fear of breastfeeding is growing daily. Please, do not scare the first time mother any more than necessary.

My boobs also hurt like crazy...my first symptom for sure. But they never GREW! Now that just seems unfair to me. *sigh*

Sorry about the boobs....thanks for the chuckle! I love how you write!

I love boob talk ...


~Jef

hey are you wearing your sports bras...you know the ones you were wearing when you were running...all those months ago, running .....
ha.
so.long.ago.

anyway. The sports bras always helped me through the "don't even look at my freakin' boobs they hurt like hell and I'm not kidding" stage.

Heh, I was totally right. After 4 times I really actually do know a thing or two about pregnancy. Amazing. Sometimes I surprise me.

Oh the sore boobs...hubby thought the growing part was fabulous except for the fact that there was no way on God's green earth that he was getting anywhere near them in the first three months. Can we keep the early breastfeeding pain talk to a minimum though? I am so not looking forward to that new experience in a few weeks!!

Glad you're not so sore anymore though!!

Oh the sore boobs...hubby thought the growing part was fabulous except for the fact that there was no way on God's green earth that he was getting anywhere near them in the first three months. Can we keep the early breastfeeding pain talk to a minimum though? I am so not looking forward to that new experience in a few weeks!!

Glad you're not so sore anymore though!!

I think it's hilarious that you didn't notice until you were in the shower. You'd think you'd have noticed when you were cramming them into your old bra...lol. I am one of those rare people whose pregnant belly never stuck out past my huge boobs; it amazes me how much they can grow in just a few weeks! Enjoy the new bras!

yeah yeah yeah, but how is the carpal tunnel?

I'm not looking forward to breatfeeding. If one more lactation expert tells me it's "not supposed to hurt if I'm doing it right," I'm going to bean her over the head with the closest available object.

poor chris

:)

only kidding...erm...mostly.

We.All.Have.Boobs... or know someone who does! It's ok to talk about them! lol

Hope you're having a happy, pain-free boob day!

Boobs. Ha.

If this is within what you're willing to put on the Internet, then your boundaries are clearly in the right place.

Ah, the first few days of breastfeeding. Hurts like cr*p every time the baby latches on and because he's learning too, he does that about 43 times every feed. Wouldn't have missed it for the world. (And Kelly? You are right. It hurts at first even when you do it right and don't let them tell you otherwise!)

As a person with small boobs, I just have to say that I think that is the single most exciting aspect of pregnancy for me thus far. Not that I am pregnant, but I don't mind the idea of putting up with everything else if my boobs get a little bit bigger in the process :)

I'm trying to remember but didn't you once draw us a diagram of your boobs and this spot (which ended up being a blocked duct or something I think) I thought it was totally hilarious, so much so that I am still thinking about it to this day! That's sad! LOL

My boobs (normally already on the large size) just got really REALLY itchy. It was 12 weeks before I realized that I might be pregnant. Maybe a heating pad will work?

And again, you choose THIS post to not provide pictures. What's up with that?

I'm almost 35 weeks preggers now, and my boobs are HUMONGOUS and HURT LIKE CRAZY. This whole pregnancy they hurt hurt hurt! Then again, my WHOLE body hurts from chasing around my cheaty little monkey. Congrats on the new boobage! :)

When I breastfed my first baby it really hurt a fucking lot, but with the second it was not nearly as bad. Since I also have small and frankly also slightly uneven boobs, maybe the same thing will happen to you.

OK, I'm done sharing now.

You had me at boobs fish, you had me at boobs.

I feel your pain. Literally, from the soreness to the toddler thinking they are balls and can be kicked.

oh my goodness, you ARE funny, you bodaciously-boobed momma.
;)

Just wait until you get a toddler elbow to your engorged, blocked duct new nursing breasts. It makes natural childbirth seem painless.

My bra went up, and i am not pregnant. and not happy about it. minimizers are freakin expensive.

Glad you're feeling better, though!

During my first trimester, my happiest clothing-related discovery has been that bra-extending straps still exist (I thought only my grandma used them) and can be purchased at Target. I've been able to convince my boobs that they still fit into my favorite pricey VS bras!

Yes it took a while for my boobs to hurt the second time around as well. In fact my whole entire second pregnancy was completely different from my first, yet I continued to compare them the entire time. It's what we humans do I guess! And fear not, for some unknown reason my boobies didn't hurt as bad when I started nursing the second time around either. The thing that hurt the most was the after birth pains/cramps whenever I breastfed, but the boobs seemed fine.

Yes it took a while for my boobs to hurt the second time around as well. In fact my whole entire second pregnancy was completely different from my first, yet I continued to compare them the entire time. It's what we humans do I guess! And fear not, for some unknown reason my boobies didn't hurt as bad when I started nursing the second time around either. The thing that hurt the most was the after birth pains/cramps whenever I breastfed, but the boobs seemed fine.

For what it's worth, breastfeeding was a lot easier the 2nd time around for me, although my milk actually took several days LONGER to come in than the first time so we did supplement w/formula a little bit.

Breast feeding was 10 million percent easier the 2nd time around.(and 3rd and 4th time) Of course, I now only have about 10% feeling in one nipple and maybe 50% feeling in the other nipple. (How is that for sharing more boobie info than was needed?)

AW, the internet...where I can get my fill of boob talk. AWESOME!

My boobs never hurt from breastfeeding. It was Jesus' gift to me. This was in return for my boobies becoming ultra saggy now that I'm done breastfeeding.

I'm not sure it was a fair trade.

And the cramping that comes with that breastfeeding the second time around is OH SO FUN. Congratulations on your second one! Hope your pregnancy goes as quickly (and labor and delivery too) as mine did.

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So the Fish Said...

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