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Asscrack

We're naming the baby over here today, for those who are interested.

I have exactly one pair of non-maternity pants that are not unbuttonably too small and exactly one pair of maternity pants that are not fall to my ankles-ly too big. So, I alternate, and naturally both pairs are always covered in peanut butter and toddler snot. The problem is that neither pair are capable of remaining in a remotely appropriate or modest location and I spend all day trying to remember to hike them northward before I frighten any children that may be in the area. It means that the entire population of the DC Metro area gets a daily status update on the precise nature and color of my underwear. I've been feeling bad that you are all left out of this excitement, so I'll just clue you in that today is a white thong. There, now you feel like part of the club.

This type of classy behavior may be what led to the conversation we had at dinner the other night.

Mia: Mia baby.
Me: No, Mia is a little girl.
Mia: Mia little girl. Dada little girl.
Me: No, Dada is a big boy.
Mia: Mama big boy.
Chris: No, Mama is a MILF.

Great thing to be teaching our kid, no?

Comments (25)

Who says romance is dead?

It must be such a relief to be able to title something "asscrack", and talk about thongs and milfs.

And you seem so wholesome on Club Mom! :-)

I have a feeling that it was the only safe thing he could say, as stating that 'Mama is a big girl' probably wouldn't have been the most prudent reply under the circumstances.

That Chris is a smart one!

I really have to stop reading you & your huz while drinking my mt dew!! It's rough on the sinuses! And I feel so much better now knowing the status of your undergarments today! lol

btw, I helped w/ the baby naming post too ;)

Ahh ~ what is it about being preggo that makes husbands more in tune to the MILF in us? Then again...maybe I just noticed it more when I was pregnant.

Do they make maternity thongs? I always had the big honking ones that covered my entire belly. I still have them. Time to clean out the underware drawer. UGH.

awesome.

That's awesome :-)

I think we're in for problems at our household. My daughter doesn't want to be a little/big girl. She wants to stay the baby, even though there's a new baby on the way. At least I can rest easy knowing that she calls Dada a boy!

As an aside, did you guys make a change to the RSS feed? It's only showing excerpts now, so I have to come to the site to see the full post....

Chris is just so smooth with that sweet talk ;-) I'm thinkin this is how you got knocked up in the first place :P

don't worry, she'll repeat it in only the most embarrassing of situations. kids are great like that :)

Aw! See, I think that's sweet:-) Bryan sent me an e-card a few weeks ago that said:

"You're going to be such a great MILF"

Way to go with the smooth talk Chris! :-)

Okay, forget every other name I've suggest. You have to name the kid Ben because when I came here to read the post, the only thing that loaded for the first 30 seconds was a ginormous ad for Uncle Ben's rice and it made me laugh unnecessarily loud. I'm waiting for your site and all I see is a giant picture of Uncle Ben.

So, did you put out, as Chris was clearly hoping you would?

I'm laughing uncontrollably!! That's fantastic!!

A thong whilst pregnant? You are braver then I am.
Chris should get some reward for that, no?

Isn't that what got you with fetus in the first place?

Men....they always know what to say LOL

What a stinker! Hey it's great that your a MILF instead of a MIDLF! LMAO

Chris should be a childhood educator :)

I don't know what I did to Typepad, but I seriously cannot comment on am Typepad account. I already told Chris, but I am voting for Wednesday. I mean, you have Mia Monday, so why not Wednesday Wednesday?
And that is my final offer. :)

He's so romantic.

She's gotta learn sometime.

You have to LOVE those husband related inappropriate comments! I often wonder will that scar my child?! Mostly I just laugh and HOPE that he won't repeat whatever daddy just said!

And at least you know he thinks you look great!!! (Or else he is trying to score MAJOR points ;)

Now, why am I not surprised...?

You wear a thong while pregnant? Are you into personal torture?

May I suggest this http://www.ingridandisabel.com/bellaband.html to help hold up your pants and avoid that whole asscrack thing.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
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