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Automatic incline and everything

I recently bought myself a treadmill, and I've been feeling pretty grumbly about it. Oh my, poor little me who has a big pile of money to spend on it and a brand new house big enough to hold it and hasn't had anything approaching a real job in over two years. I have a hard life. But I bought the treadmill so that I could stop trying to make it to the gym, and I love the gym. I mean sure, the gym sucks donkey balls, but going to the gym keeps my ass from expanding to the size of Cleveland and regular exercise is the difference between Angry, Bitchy, Mean Beth and Content, Sometimes Nice, Not Quite as Bitchy Beth. (Hey, can't fight nature.)

Going to the gym is the single time in my life when I'm not Mommy, when I'm not in someway responsible for my child. Sure, she sleeps and even sometimes plays on her own for minutes at a time, but even if I am not directly involved, if Mia and I are in the same place, I am responsible. I can tell from the noises coming from the playroom whether she is happily playing with her trains or getting ready to parachute from the top of the bookshelves. I can sleep straight through Chris's alarm clock, but a change in her breathing pattern wakes me from a dead sleep. I am always the Mommy, most weeks I go nowhere at all without her, and I was pretty bitter that I couldn't manage to leave the house on my own for three or four hours a week. But I couldn't do it. It just wasn't happening, and when we moved her bedtime from 7:00 to 8:00 I knew it would likely never happen again. So I bought the treadmill and pretended like I thought it was really cool but secretly, I was pretty much just bitter and angry about it.

But then, you know what I did at naptime yesterday? 45 minutes on the treadmill with the baby monitor in the cup holder. And no, it wasn't exactly what I wanted, it wasn't my first choice, but it also wasn't continuing to sacrifice myself for my Mommy-ness. I'm learning, very slowly, how to compromise. How to be the mommy I want to be and still be the person I want to be. And if that means spending every naptime on the treadmill, at least it beats cleaning the bathrooms.

Comments (26)

You sure you don't want to drive an hour to come to my gym? It has fabulous childcare.

We have an elliptical, but I still got the gym unless Michael is sick or I can't get there for some reason. I like the classes.

Now if only I could make myself go to the gym.
I am so very lazy.

Hmmmm. Maybe I should just cave and get one of these, too. And one of those weighted vests. And a stationary bike.

Or just keep thinking about it cause I'm being a lazy toad.

I'm impressed, really, I am.

As someone who is in the planning stages as far as children go and STILL doesnt get to the gym i'm very impressed with your determination!
Pol x

Wow, you're pregnant and exercising. Do you know how often I would use that as an excuse to do nothing more than sit on my ass?

Pretty impressive.

My wife partakes in the childcare at the YMCA 3-4 times a week so she can get a workout and let Violet stay occupied without worry.

Recently, she's been doing the "Mommy's Morning Out" that they also offer, where she drops our daughter off at the same gym nursery for 3 hours every Friday morning for $15, and she can go do whatever she wants for a few hours. She says it has made a world of difference in her mental state to get that little time away to do what she wants to do (even if what she wants to do is something as droll as painting the nursery).

Good for you! I've recently rediscovered our excercise bike -- it really isn't a clothes rack after all. Surprisingly, my HUSband even chose to ride for a while last night... imagine what a happy world it would be if we were all in a slightly better state of mind.

It's a start and if it works, go with it!

I've been doing something similar. In the (way to freaking early) AM I get up and get on the stationary bike before everyone else gets up. It's nice not having to worry about whose getting into what, why and how.

I'm impressed that you figured this out so quickly. It took me almost seven years!

So since my daughter is only 1, does the mean I can just bitch and moan for another year before I have to grow up and hop the tread mill I bought? Because I would be okay with that. I moved in June and it hasn't been plugged in yet. Pretty sad...

oooooooh, maybe you can figure out how to read and use the treadmill at the same time? It might involve borrowing "large type" editions of books from the library, but just maybe it's a possibility?

Middle age finds Hubby and I sharing high cholesterol and Hubby with type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. Yeah, that was such a fun doctor's visit this week! Anyway, we've decided to rejoin the health club and get walking every day. Also I have to change my cooking. Now that sucks. I love to cook. Now I have to cook crappy tasteless stuff, so Hubby can eat it!

I'm sorry, exercise bike is great and all but I can't get past the fact that going to the gym was your one break from the Land of Mom. Beth, you need more time away and you need more cake involved! I mean honestly, the gym? This is all very hard for me to understand :)

Um, I'm pretty sure you're a better mom than I am, but I won't hold it against you.

oh Beth, I can sympathize. Lately, Lady has started to hint that she can do away with her nap and I just can't let that happen. You see, there is a brief window of about 35-40 minuutes during the day when Lady's naptime overlaps with Mister's naptime, and I get to be Not Mommy for those glorious 35-40 minutes. I will fight tooth and nail to hang onto that Not Mommy time with every fiber of my being, and have become very good about doing only things that I cannot otherwise do when the two of them are awake, like decorate my front door for Fall. Or read. Or sit down and finish my cup of coffee. God, that used to just be something I took for granted.


I'm happy you got your treadmill though, because balance is really important, and you should definitely have something that's just for you during your day.

Is there a Lifetime fitness near you? We use the day care there- our son loves his playtime with other kids. He's not in daycare, so it gives him some time to see what the cool kids are into- ha!

One of the many reasons I don't ever want another child is that I can still maintain some semblance of a life of my own and keep it in balance-- even while raising the kid and taking care of everything 100% on my own. My own time is just a requirement for me, and while I sometimes do miss the total freedom of being childless, of being able to go to the gym after work, I think I do keep a pretty good balance. I'd go crazy otherwise and I wouldn't enjoy being a mom as much.

This is exactly what I do during Piper's afternoon nap... it really helps keep me sane.

I am so entirely impressed. I am not a good worker-outer in the home. In fact, I'm best in classes or with a personal trainer. I tend to need others to motivate my booty into action. So anyone who is able to turn their home into their gym is nothing short of amazing in my book.

p.s. I also love the gym because I can leave the bear w/ qualified professionals and just Ahhhhhhh.....

Hey i just got a treadmill last Monday.I have to endure "mom can I have a turn???Can I???Please???"from a whiney 4 and 6 year old while I exercise!Cant wait for school to start again!

Just look at it this way: all the 45 minute nap times spent on the dreaded treadmill will just make it that much easier to lose 'Wally-weight' when he arrives. At least I think so.

The nice thing about the treadmill is it's boring, mind numbing, you can zone out for 20 minutes and not realize it. And when you have a newborn, the noise puts them to sleep!

At least you use it. My elliptical sits in the guest room taunting me.

And P.S. congrats on all the grown-up compromise shit.

Yep, that's what it's been for me too. I am Dadda. That is who I am and who I want to be. But I can't help that my dreams often lead me away from my family as if escaping the bind that ties. I think we are just human to struggle with individuality. I am by far happiest when I am with my kids. I miss them when I'm gone, but only if I've got time to think about them... when I'm not skydiving and swimming with sharks, and racing cars, and crossing the country on a motorcycle... in my dreams.

Pregnant on a treadmill! I am impressed. Do a few extra rounds for me.

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