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Bitch!

Just lost an entry because my fucking laptop's fucking battery lasts all of four fucking minutes and I stupidly plugged it into the outlet controlled by the wall switch and didn't flip the fucking switch. Dummy. It was whiny as all hell anyway, probably best that you missed it.

Hey, have you noticed the new ads I have over on the left? Yeah, I hate them too. God, they are so ugly. But you know what, I'm making money from them. Like, enough to pay for preschool money (not that Mia is starting preschool until next year, but still) so I'm afraid they are staying. Sorry about that, just ignore them as best you can.

I have a fabulous new design in the works that will distract you from my hideous ads anyway, so stay tuned for that. And I can assure you that it is truly fabulous because I am having nothing to do with it whatsoever. And oh my god, did you know that if you get an actual designer to design your website it can actually look good, instead of looking like the shit you threw up four years ago and then could never change because everything just made it look even worse? It's a total fucking revelation, let me tell you.

(And since someone will ask, I'm not paying for the new design. It's being done by a friend of mine who is doing the redesign for me in exchange for me installing MT for her, and I've already told her she got the raw end of that deal but she's doing it anyway.)

Also hey, these new ad things stick links at the bottom to other people running their ads, but they can't link to a post if it has bad words in the title, so I'm thinking I'll title all my posts with just a single nasty word from now on. Not that I object to the linkage, I just like to be a kink in the works.

Oh! Can anybody explain to me why, at my local grocery store yesterday, there was a large man sitting on this random metal frame thing that had no other discernible purpose talking to four cops? For half an hour? In handcuffs? (The large man was in handcuffs, not the four cops.) It was entirely odd - I mean, they were all out there just shooting the shit except that one of them appeared to have the right to remain silent. Is this, like, common suburban cop practice or something? Cuff the purp and then hang out in front of the Safeway talking about the local football team? Cause they never do that on Law and Order.

Ok, I feel much better now, thank you. Overuse of the f-bomb is far more therapeutic than being a whiny little baby on your website, just in case you were wondering. You should try it next time and let me know if it works as well for you.

(And, for those of you playing along at home, we've had three naps and two full nights in the big girl bed without a hitch. But hey, this kid didn't sleep through the night until 21 months, so I think I deserve this one.)

Comments (23)

It's probably just me, but I don't see any ads. So your website looks as lovely as ever.

I'm totally envious about the re-design, because I really want one and don't know how to do it either. So I'll live with my ugly Typepad blog, and try not to give a shit. Or try to find a book that explains it. Or not. I dunno.

Fuck me that is a lot of swearing. Feels good doesn't it?

I'm very excited about the new design! And the links are not bad at all.

your ads are paying for preschool? I have the same ads and haven't seen a cent. Did you find a really cheap preschool?

Thanks for getting me all stressed out about preschool again.

Hook me up on the good ads. I've got two in preschool.

Oh wait, you mean the BlogHer ads?

I already have those. They DO pay well, but I keep buying wine with that money.

Shit!

That seriously stinks when you write so much and put so much into it and then poof it's gone. I've had that happen before and I abandoned the topic I had been posting about and never looked back...okay maybe once I looked back, but it was only to curse it for losing itself!!!

I love a good swear! I do it all the time to and from the ride to work. My husband's hates me for it but I always way fucking better ;)

Ah, as for the sleep thing - I am glad it is easy! That totally rocks especially since like you my child did not sleep through the night well until like last month (so that is what 28 months old??) I say this while pounding my hands on any wood I can find so as NOT to jinx myself.

Oh yeah and just so you know (any one reading your comments...) he woke up at 2 am last night but at least NOW he goes back to sleep quickly (once again pounding loudly!)

Hey... those ads are totally worth it. (although I'm not making nearly enough to pay for preschool... more people better start visiting and clicking!)

Can't wait to see the new blog design. It seems like everyone is getting cool new looks.

Wow, you have some fascinating encounters at your grocery store. First the fireman, then the dude in handcuffs. Where do you shop?

I started Blogher ads too on my site, but have no idea how much I am earning. How do you find this stuff out? My head hurts!

Fucking hell- I need ads that pay for preschool! Though I'm guessing that you have to actually have readers for those things to work...

Paying for preschool is good! Maybe if we refresh a gazillion times, we can help you pay for college too ;-)

I can't wait to see the redesign. Hooray.

Every once in a while, you just have to do it.
The Safeway story intrigues me. Mmmm!

I'm good with the ads - but I have to make sure my browser is opened large enough or they overlap your text. The fact that they pay for preschool? I'll deal :D

Semi-delurking for The Great Mofo Delurk 2007.

You did drop some f-bombs there, Beth. You sound like, well, me.

And congrats on the move to the big girl bed. Nice when things go easily when you're just certain they're going to be ISSUES. Ahh...the relief.

So much going on this post! I'm fascinated and enjoyed it thoroughly. But now I can't remember all of the brilliant things I wanted to say here :)

The ads only work if you get some good traffic to your site, and I'm not sure I'd like to see the ads I'd get with all of my dirty talk between kid posts.

Oh yes, I'm trying to promote the great mofo delurk as well, with inspiration of course from schmutzie at www.schmutzie.com!

Saying fuck a thousand times is very cheap therapy.
My older sister (got a degree in web design, but I know that's not what it's called if she saw me write that would totally correct me) redesigned my blog. She hated the puke green background I had so viola'. Brand new look. :)

Fuckity McFuckenheimer, two full nights?!?!? She's practically in high school! Next thing you know she'll be dating the quarterback, and we both know what an idiot that kid is.

Oh. I let it all out on the blog before I read this. Live and learn. ;)

I bet there's a flaw with this designer. I bet they're slow as hell, huh? :P

Well, now I feel really stupid. I signed up for the Blogher ads 'cause I thought they were pretty. You mean I'll get paid for them? Because seven people come to my blog? If I save my pennies, maybe I can buy some two-buck chuck. I know I'll never make enough to afford the expensive, excessive amount of wine Sarah drinks.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


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