Many of you already know that I hate horses. And by "hate" I mean "curl up in a ball and sob like a little girl in terror." And please for the love of chocolate do not give me a lecture about how horses are magnificent creatures and you looooove them and I should too because it will just piss me off and I will delete it and hate you just a little bit forevermore. Horses are not my thing. I don't like to be around them. I don't like to see them in movies. I don't like to see pictures. A couple of days ago, Chris drew a picture of a horse at Mia's request and it was a horrible picture, looked nothing at all like a horse, and I still had to go lie down and breathe deeply for a few minutes to recover. Horses = evil, end of discussion.
On Thursday, Mia was playing with her little stuffed horse (gasp, shudder, given to her by my own traitorous mother) and told me, apropos of nothing, that she wanted to ride a big horse. And I? Died. And then, because I am goddamned mother of the goddamned year, I took her to ride a horse. I'll be waiting over here for my trophy. Keening softly and eating my own hair in great, heaping handfuls.

Comments (56)
You are the epitome of Great Motherness.
Posted by JuJuBee | October 22, 2007 9:11 AM
WOW! I can't believe you took Mia to ride a horse when you are so afraid of them.
I used to ride horses until I got thrown off and messed up my back.
Cute pictures! She looks so happy!
I am deathly afraid of spiders and you wouldn't see me standing next to Eric while he held a tarantula!!
Posted by Eric's Mommy | October 22, 2007 9:13 AM
You are officially the best mother EVAR.
Posted by Leah | October 22, 2007 9:22 AM
I am duly impressed. Mia and Isabel are living parallel lives. Isabel rode her first real horse this weekend, Little Stony, and that is all we have heard about since. But being sensible I sent her father to do it, since I thought it would be too traumatic for me to see my little baby riding around on a horse.
Posted by stacie | October 22, 2007 9:26 AM
Aww, nice mommy! You even managed to not look terrified.
You did treat yourself to something nice afterwards, right?
Posted by Diane | October 22, 2007 9:30 AM
Truly, you ARE mother of the year! You know what I love most about these photos? You are smiling! Clearly, Mia happy = Beth smiling through the terror! Well done, Mama!
Posted by Susan | October 22, 2007 9:30 AM
Seriously big high fives for you. Sorry I don't have a trophy handy at the moment.
Posted by Missy | October 22, 2007 9:32 AM
Wow, that's amazing, and Mia looks so pleased.
I feel the same way about dogs as you do about horses.
Posted by Katherine | October 22, 2007 9:35 AM
At least you're sticking to your own hair and not eating any horse hair. Do you feel the same way about unicorns?
Posted by patois | October 22, 2007 9:35 AM
WOW! You reall ARE mother of the year! I'm seriously impressed! And you're pregnant! Already uncomfortable and also confronting worst fear imaginable...can I be like you when I grow up?
Posted by the wife | October 22, 2007 9:35 AM
Did a horse piss in your cheerios once or something? I have to know WHY. You leave us hanging like that. (also, it should be noted, that I'm just too damn lazy to go through your archives)
Posted by statia | October 22, 2007 9:40 AM
I nominate you for "Mother Of The Year"!!! I am so proud of you!!!
Great Mia shots.
Posted by Maribeth | October 22, 2007 9:42 AM
Seriously, if you are horse-phobic you are doing a SMASHING job of not showing it! And add me to the list of those super-impressed...phobias are AWFUL to have to overcome even if you aren't smiling and pregnant while you're doing it!
Also, should I feel bad that your description of your terror makes me laugh out loud? (The word "keening" alone makes me snicker...)
Posted by Danell | October 22, 2007 9:48 AM
Well, I don't seem to have any trophies on hand, but I do have some Winnie The Pooh stickers! What a big girl you were! I must say, that for someone who is so afraid of horses, you looked rather comfortable around them, but hey, if you won't lecture me on what wonderful creatures snakes are, I won't lecture you about horses. No I will not.
Posted by Suzy | October 22, 2007 9:55 AM
you need a medal.
i hope you use this as leverage when mia's older!
Posted by ali | October 22, 2007 9:59 AM
Wow! I think most kids that age would at least look a little unsure on a horse, if not scared, and she's all like "Hey, I was born to ride!" Her face in that third picture makes me think you'll be paying for horse riding lessons for years and years.
I'm afraid of horses too. I was on a horse that decided it wanted to be free one time, and the owner used a whip to get it to stop before it went over the ranch's fence. Haven't been on one or very near one since. But I sometimes think we are destined to have loved ones who push us right into our fears.
Posted by Sandy | October 22, 2007 10:07 AM
Good, now I can be bitchy the rest of the year since Mother of the Year has clearly found its winner in you.
Posted by Shelly | October 22, 2007 10:08 AM
What a great mom :) Mia looks beautiful in these pics - she looks thrilled! But I can't believe you posted all these pictures with you in them and not one of them shows us your belly! ;)
Posted by Melissa | October 22, 2007 10:14 AM
Wow! Not only are you mother of the year, but I think that your first miracle (or maybe two) for sainthood have been waived!
Great pictures! Mia sure is lucky to have such a great Mommy!
Posted by Maggie | October 22, 2007 10:16 AM
Wow, you totally took one for the team there! And you've got photographic evidence you can show Mia later on.
Posted by Fraulein N | October 22, 2007 10:46 AM
Wow! You're awesome! :D I'm proud of you!
Posted by Manda | October 22, 2007 10:51 AM
Beth, it's ok, that's not a horse it's a pony!
(And I think it's wonderful and adorable but you don't have to and I respect that)
Seriously, congratulations. Be proud of yourself for not denying your daughter something she wants based on your own feelings.
YAY!
Posted by jessica | October 22, 2007 11:07 AM
Big GOLD STAR for you!! Being a good parent is not passing your fears onto your children...
Look how happy she looks!!!
I can tell you what... if my child someday wants to feed seagulls, I am going to have to do some major overcoming myself....
INTERNET HUG OF SUPPORT!!
Posted by Stephanie | October 22, 2007 11:07 AM
Bravo, brave soul!
Posted by Gwen | October 22, 2007 11:11 AM
Yowzers woman. That would be like me taking Sully swimming (except I would never do that because I don't know how and would never want his life in danger), or taking him to see some spiders or bees.
And I'm not sure I could have done it. That was an amazing feat you did.
Posted by Phoenix | October 22, 2007 11:14 AM
I'm soooo proud of you!
Posted by sue | October 22, 2007 11:20 AM
Way to go! I hate clowns but if my boys wanted to see one, then I would take them to see the freakin' thing. Thankfully neither of them have asked.
Posted by Irene | October 22, 2007 11:23 AM
She looks so sweet on a horse.
I know what you mean though I really don't "get" horses, I am not scared of them but I just do not understand why people love them so much. And this is after living with a father who was a professional Jockey until he hit a growth spurt at the age of 25 (when I was 7).
Posted by SleepyNita | October 22, 2007 11:30 AM
okay, need to know why did you not take the pictures and have brave hubby do the horse thing? I mean he let his pregnant wife be near the thing she is most fearful of and he just took pictures...i dunno...cactus man, you suck today. lol! You look great though, could hardly tell you were scared.
Posted by linda | October 22, 2007 11:33 AM
And you look so calm and assured in those photos. Yes indeed, you win mother of the year.
Posted by Elaine | October 22, 2007 11:40 AM
Awww...you're an awesome mommy!!! Hopefully Mia doesn't ask for a pony in the back yard any time soon. :-)
Posted by Li'l Foot's Mommy | October 22, 2007 12:15 PM
Kuddos to you! We sacrifice much for the happiness of our children. Mia is clearly over-joyed. You did well, Momma. Be proud.
Posted by ckirby50 | October 22, 2007 12:16 PM
Wow, you are indeed the Mother of the Year! I am TOTALLY impressed that you managed to stand there looking completely normal and not terrified. Kieran is in a bug phase and wants to look at books full of bug pictures. *shudder* I can't even look at a picture of a spider. I will NOT be receiving the mother of the year award if he ever decides that he needs to hold a tarantula!
Posted by Carmen | October 22, 2007 12:19 PM
I KNOW! I'm not afraid of them, but Eeeewwww they gross me out.
And, um, *cough* your ass is still totally smoking. Not that I was looking or anything.
Posted by Mr Lady | October 22, 2007 12:21 PM
Wow! Good for you, Beth! I know lots of people who are scared of horses, but few of them would be as brave as you :-)
Posted by Heather | October 22, 2007 2:04 PM
You're so good you make me sick, not really, but still. Horses...eeew
Mia's hair is getting so long!
Posted by crookedeyebrow | October 22, 2007 2:25 PM
Go you! conquer that fear. That's how I am about flying. I'm already dreading our flight in jan.
Posted by jodi | October 22, 2007 2:30 PM
First I'll start here: You fully deserve Mother of the Year for putting aside your whole Horse=Evil thing for Mia, who obviously was a bit concerned in the beginning judging by the monkey hug happening in the first picture.
Second: That is one beautiful little girl, especially with her hair backlit by the sunlight.
Third: Pregnancy REALLY agrees with you! you look great!
Posted by zanie | October 22, 2007 2:34 PM
Wow, good job...I have a similar fear, of frogs. The thought of them makes me want to cry. I am not sure I would have done so well if the boy child had said he wanted frogs. I might have had to sell him to the gypsies in order to get rid of the terrible frogginess. Yuck!
Posted by Stacy | October 22, 2007 3:12 PM
You don't look freaked out at all!
And well done, Mia!
So, what'd a horse do to you anyway?
Posted by ewe_are_here | October 22, 2007 3:21 PM
Wow! you did a great job keeping your cool! She looks like she is enjoying it. Was it as cool for her as she thought it would be? What did she think of it?
... and as an aside! your purse/bag is very cool. Mind if I ask who it is?
Posted by Lisa | October 22, 2007 3:54 PM
Wow!!! What a smile you have!!!! You kept your composure very well. Kudos!!!
Shash
Posted by Shash | October 22, 2007 7:08 PM
You realize that because you're so afraid of horses, she's probably going to grow up to do Olympic-level dressage or stadium jumping, right? Heaven help you, she looks delighted. :-P
Posted by orangepeacock | October 22, 2007 8:15 PM
You are truly the mother of the year!
Posted by suze | October 22, 2007 8:38 PM
The things we do for love. So was it easier to be around the horse than you thought? How did you do it? Good for you.
Posted by Sharri | October 22, 2007 8:46 PM
finally. someone who understands the true nature of horses like i do.
i can't believe you got so close. you win the bravest badass mother of the year award for getting so close to evil for the sake of your daughter.
those pictures scare me.
Posted by jodiferous | October 22, 2007 9:41 PM
That's great, I'm sure she loved it!
I know you don't want a lecture or anything, but you're going to have to explain why you think horses=evil.
I don't get it. Then again, I have 5 of them so I probably won't even if you do explain.
Posted by Dianna | October 22, 2007 9:53 PM
I am sorry to laugh at you, but "keening softly and eating my own hair in great, heaping handfuls" was fucking HILEERIOUS.
And P.S. I held a tarantula for my son, SO THERE.
Posted by aimee/greeblemonkey | October 22, 2007 10:29 PM
Dude! Props to you for arranging the horse ride! You really are mother of the year! :)
Posted by Emily | October 22, 2007 11:01 PM
oh dear. you're standing really so very close to that horse. props to you for not going spontaneously unconscious from the discomfort.
now...do you feel any differently about them since you've done this sort of forced-proximity therapy?
Posted by Sarcomical | October 23, 2007 1:32 AM
You do deserve an award. But wouldn't you rather have chocolate than I trophy that would collect dust? :-)
Posted by Maria | October 23, 2007 4:09 AM
I think you look more proud of yourself than of Mia!
Posted by Lisa | October 23, 2007 8:28 AM
You are definitely the mother of the year.
I was exactly the same when I was at Mia's age. All I dreamed of was doing horseback riding. And it started exactly the same way. At first, you take her to the farm, to see and pet the horses. Then, she wants to ride them. And then .. well .. she wants to HAVE one. I don't want you to get scared... But be aware that it could turn out like that.. ;-)
Andrea
Posted by Andrea | October 23, 2007 8:34 AM
That's great, I'm so proud of you. And you both look so cute...also, I notice how you are holding her hand and foot but keeping your distance from the beast :)
Posted by Dee | October 23, 2007 8:45 AM
Such great photos!
Posted by Jennie | October 24, 2007 3:50 PM
As the former owner of an Arabian gelding, I don't find your fear irrational at all. I love horses and dearly wish I still had the time and money to ride, but they can be bloody intimidating when the mood strikes them.
On the up side, if Mia decides she has to have a pony, you won't have to worry as much about things like eating disorders or abusive boyfriends when she's older. Most of the horsewomen I know are tough, confident broads who take no nonsense off of anybody.
Posted by Emily | October 28, 2007 9:37 PM