First a quick update on the horse thing I mentioned yesterday. I assure you that the original plan was for Chris to handle all the horse-related activities while I hid behind the goat barn and cried at the very thought of my poor, innocent child being exposed to such a horrible experience. But once we got there, Mia was not so sure about the whole horse thing after all and decided she had never really wanted to do it anyway and just to prove her point there was no way in hell we were removing her arms from their death grip around my neck. And I would have been totally happy for her to skip the whole thing, except that a) I thought that once she actually got on the horse and saw it wasn't painful that it would be the sort of thrilling, week-making, toddler-mind-blowing experience that she would talk about blissfully for weeks to come, b) when she is afraid of something it is my policy to respect that fear and comfort her all I can while trying to gently show her how to overcome it, and c) I had already paid my four bucks for the damned pony ride. Also, my irrational fear shouldn't become her irrational fear, so I decided I could suck it up for the five minutes I would have to be near the horse and then could slip away somewhere and have a quiet little meltdown while Chris took Mia to admire the pigs or something. And that's exactly how it worked out. And she loved it, so the emotional scars I will suffer for the rest of my life are worth it.
Second, you know what I did yesterday? I took Mia to my in-laws and went shopping. For me. For some decent-looking maternity clothes because even though I hate spending money on that sort of thing all my clothes from last time were borrowed and the ones I did buy were summer clothes and I can't just go naked until February so clothes must be had. And I didn't buy a single thing for either child, I and bought whatever I wanted for myself without succumbing to my usual guilt about how I make barely more than zero dollars a month so shouldn't be spending money on myself. (Which I recognize is stupid, I work damned hard for my $0 salary, but there it is.) Do you know when the last time I actually had two hours to myself was? Two hours that I didn't spend cleaning something or paying bills or grocery shopping? Seriously, I'm asking, I can't remember. It's been a long, long time.
And then I had eggplant parmesan for lunch, which I like but never have because Chris doesn't like it. And then I put Mia down for her nap and didn't clean anything or do any work on either of the jobs that earn me that slightly more than zero dollars a month. When Mia woke up, we played for a while and then had leftovers and peanut butter sandwiches for dinner because Chris wasn't home so I didn't have to even pretend to cook.
If I didn't know any better, I would say that I very nearly relaxed a little bit. I highly recommend it.