so the fish said...
  home links archives about contact

« Only 20 km in diameter! | Main | It means spoon »


Mia started whining at around 2 AM this morning, and after waiting a while to see if she was going to whine herself back to sleep, I dragged myself out of bed to go curl up with her for a while. She's done this once or twice lately and having me in bed with her has proven enough comfort to get her back to sleep. It worked last night too, she calmed right down and dropped off. And then, she decided that 2:30 in the morning was prime time to throw a tantrum, so she did. It was enough to get Chris out of bed, and he never gets up. We spent at least half an hour trying to talk her down, trying to get her to tell us what might be wrong, and she just cried and screamed "no" at every word we said. I finally decided that half an hour of screaming in the middle of the night warranted a full toddler-check, so I turned on the lights, pulled off her pajamas and diaper, and then spent a while rocking and talking to a stark naked but totally calm kid. Go figure. We brought her back to bed with us a little after three, and she finally decided to go back to sleep a little after 5:00. Naturally, she was up and raring to go at her usual time. Sleeping in wouldn't have been a good thing anyway since we had somewhere to be at 9:30, but I was willing to skip it in the name of getting more than four hours sleep.

Seriously though, temper tantrums in the middle of the night? Does this happen to you guys too? Because I'm not going to lie, that sucked my ass.

Then I had my Glucose Challenge Test, which involves chugging some sugar water and then getting blood drawn and makes you feel like utter hell on no sleep. While there, I discovered yet another issue with my OB which, in itself, is a significant but not critical matter, but which may just be the final straw with these people. There's been a lot of turn-over starting right before I got pregnant and I am no longer convinced I want these people delivering my baby. Would I be absolutely insane to change OBs at 30 weeks pregnant? My issues are more with the office staff than with the doctors, although there is one of them that I will be very disappointed to see on the other end of the stirrups, so I'm really torn. And even the doctor I don't really like is so incredibly sweet to Mia that I feel I have to give her credit for that, and since I am ambivalent towards her but don't dislike her that credit goes a long way.

Hey, look! I'm babbling. You see, on top of no sleep and crazy sugar crashes and having gained nearly as much already as the total amount I gained with Mia, I think I'm getting sick. The pestilence hasn't totally committed to taking over my body yet, and there is still the chance that I will wake up in a day or two and feel as great as you can feel at 26 weeks pregnant, but there is also the chance that I will wake up in a day or two feeling like reheated hell and wishing someone would smash me in the head with a cinder block just so I didn't have to deal with consciousness.

So, let's try to remember my point here, shall we. Oh, yes, there it is.

Point #1: Random middle of the night temper tantrums - fluke that will never happen again or my fate for the next nine months.

Point #2: Advisability of a third-trimester OB switch based on lack or warm fuzzy feelings toward one doctor, scheduling hassles, and inexcusable office screw-up (the first for this pregnancy, but there was an inexcusable office screw-up when I was pregnant with Mia, too).


Comments (39)

Oh, totally change your OB. A friend of mine changed twice during her second pregnancy, the last one at like 30 weeks. She is local as well, so if you need a reference... :) And, as for the random temper tantrum, that totally sucks! I am sure it is a fluke. Actually, if I am remembering correctly, the little man started having nightmares that woke him up right about 2 1/2... which at the same time that squeaker was waking up less -- of course, they never woke at the same time. fun times. maybe we'll plan #3 for after the nightmare phase.

You know I'm going to want to hear about the OB thing in more detail -- in exchange, I'll give you a hot tip on my awesome brand new doctor plus the reassurance that switching doctors mid-pregnancy is really not a big deal at all. It's absolutely not for my rocking new OB. I have no idea what's up with Mia -- what a tantrum! Hope you get some good rest tonight.

Middle of the night tantrums? Check. We were having those over here for a while. I read somewhere that someone linked them to kids starting to realize they have to pee or poop (mostly pee, in the middle of the night). Sophie would wake up screaming NO! and we couldn't touch her until we turned the lights on and calmed her down. I'm not sure she was even fully awake. And now there's a new baby in her daycare and everything is about reverting back to babyhood. She wants to be rocked, she wants me to pretend to give her a bottle, she corrects me if I say she's my little girl: "no, I baby, Mama." Maybe Mia is starting to panic a little about not being a baby anymore. As Aaron said today: growing up is scary. Oh, and definitely swith OBs if you're feeling uncomfortable.

Switch. A girlfriend of mine switched OBs at-I kid you not-37 weeks. She liked the new one so much that she will be delivering her next baby she's pregnant with. She was on the fence and at the last minute decided to go with her instincts. She said she felt relieved and the last few weeks were so much better without worrying about the hang ups she had with the previous OB.

Stop. You are scaring me. We have middle of the night screaming but never a trantrum. Yikes.

If the benefits of your OB don't outweigh the troubles you are having, definitely change. I endured consistent two hour waits with my last OB (even if I was the first appointment of the day) with a toddler in tow just because I knew that she would allow me to try to have the birth that I wanted. However, I will be scheduling my post-partum visit elsewhere.

Switch if you need to, but if you trust the doctors and have difficulties with the office staff, I'd probably stay. It can be hard to find a doctor you like. I HATED my OB with my last child, but switching wasn't an option. Thankfully, she didn't deliver him. After he was born, she wanted to release me after 6 hours, while the spinal was still partially in effect with a baby who was a month early!

My kids had night terrors somewhere around 2 years old. Only occassionally and only if they were overtired, but they were screaming doozies.

I was going to suggest night terrors also. it's often in the 2year old range.

I've had friends switch late in pregnancy too.

Yep, my daughter had night terrors at about that same age, altho come to think of it she always seemed more angry than scared. I remember "no" was the most common complaint. Our problem was we could never get her to actually wake up, so nothing we said or did seemed to help. She had them infrequently until she was four or so, and she still occasionally sleepwalks and talks. She never remembers it in the morning. The worst part for her is that she never gets to sleep in the top bunk at camp (she's 14 now).

I remember the night terrors but they occurred when the girls were old enough to race down the hall and pile into bed with me. I let them stay.

I have them myself sometimes.

As for your ob, if it's quality of care I'd switch. If it's just office screwups, you might find the same thing anywhere. Sometimes the devil you know, etc.

Night terrors sound possible, yeah - but I hope not. I hope it's a one-time thing.
As to the OB, I wouldn't quit unless you've found another you're comfortable with, and if you do, then great, but if you don't at least the doctors are good? But I wouldn't want to be trying to get in to see someone new without a backup.

Eric never had any middle of the night TT's but he still gets up now and then for weird reasons.

As far as the OB thing, I would change, ask your friends if they go to another Dr. who they go to and if they really like them.

Does Mia understand the concept of dreams? Make sure you ask her if she had a 'bad dream' if it happens again. I'd put money on that being what happened.

As for the OB, make sure you discuss with the doc that you are considering switching because of issues with the office staff. He/she may be completely unaware, and it might be an issue that his/her office manager is NOT handling but needs to. You might see a change, and it would be much easier than switching doctors.

With the others, just switch. I have had friends do it late third trimester even. I hope her temper tantrums stop soon! 2 am is definitely not the time to be having one! lol

I dumped an OB/GYN for horrible office staff and a terrible mistake involving not calling me as promised so I was taking the wrong medication FOR A WEEK. But I wasn't pregnant at the time. I understand what you mean thought because I didn't really care for my OB (my normal doctor does not deliver babies anymore so she sent me elsewhere for that) and was secretly pleased that my doctor was not on call the day Bridget was born.

I say if you are really not comfortable and feel like you can find a good replacement quickly, then do it! You don't want to go into delivery especially one that might be tricky with someone you aren't wild about.

I was thinking night terrors too. Let's hope whatever the problem was is out of her system.

As for changing doctors, I'm a go with your gut kinda gal. If you think you should, then you should. As long as you are having an uneventful pregnancy---no laundry list of complications to transfer over and sort out---I think it is perfectly reasonable. Good luck whatever you decide.

I think those are night terrors, My son got them a lot between age 2-3.

I would change OBs, you hav eto feel comfortable!

I saw switch OB's, because if something happens you don't like you'll be wondering if you should've switched. I switched, but around 25 weeks, and was glad I did because I couldn't find any OB's in my insurance plan who accepted new patients in their third trimester. Hopefully you have better insurance than I did!

I need to thank you Beth. You see, I am starting to freak out about my age and the possibility of a baby-less future. You just made me appreciate my full night of sleep.

As for the OB, I think it depends on what your options are. Do you have a back-up in mind ? Do your friend recommend someone great ? Or will you be diving into completely unknown territory ? Even if you are, you still have at least 2 months to get it figured out.

My daughter Allie went through a month of what I called "Crazy Zombie Baby". She was almost two, and would wake up around 2-3 in the morning and just...act crazy. She would scream, throw tantrums, ramble nonsense. But she eventually stopped. It was so bizarre and last for a short period of time.

I would switch. Better to completely trust that to feel uncomfortable, I think... I know other women who have changed and everything worked out!

I think Mia is younger than Matthew but sounds like she is similar to him in the sleep dept. He went through some night terrors type thing off and on and it took hours to get him back to sleep but it stopped after a few weeks (not like every night for a few weeks either, just here and again for a few weeks...) he was also very sick with lots of head colds at the time so perhaps she has a little bug too and it is just messing with her system?

Hope you start to feel better!

My first thought with your story is that maybe something was physically bothering her (like a pj string around her toe or a sharp part of one of those tag holder thingys that might have been left behind) since she calmed down after she was all undressed.

After reading the comments, night terrors might be a good guess too. My 4 year old gets them occassionally. The weirdest part - he screams and cries and calls for his mother. I keep telling him I am his mother. Spooky as hell I tell you.

One more guess, don't they say that when kids learn a new skill there sleep is sometimes affected? Maybe that is just for little babies? Is Mia doing any new tricks?

As for your OB, I think I would only change if you have someone you know you will like in the wings. The devil you know and all. If you are looking for someone good to get a recommendation from, try to make friends with an L&D nurse - they'll know who is good but also who just got engaged and isn't concentrating as well anymore, who they suspect drinks in the on call room, who will treat the nurses like a bitch but will come through in an emergency.

Good Luck!

Since I do the Sleep thing for a living I will put in my 2 cents.

Was her heart rate elevated, was she sweating, and was she breathing fast with her eyes really wide open? Was she showing fear or anger? If yes to any or all the questions and she was showing fear then it was likely night terrors which are so very common between the ages of 2 and 6 (and sometimes longer but can manifest itself into sleepwalking until puberty). Night terrors can last up to a half hour total. That being said, night terrors happen when they are ASLEEP (a deep sleep) they do not wake up during a night terror even though their eyes are open. Night terrors also usually phase back into normal sleep although some kids do fully awaken from them very confused, aggitated and irritable.

To help distinguish between the two you can look at when it happens:

Night terrors also typically happen early in the night during the first or second sleep cycle when deep sleep is the most abundant (so within 1 to 5 hours of going to bed). Nightmares happen during the later part of the night when REM sleep is the most abundant (what people commonly think of as dreaming sleep).

So if Mia was awake it was likely a nightmare ("bad dream") which she just doesn't understand yet and can not communicate to you.

Whoever came up with terrible twos never met a three year old. It just sucks until they turn four, and then this magic light switch flips and they are perfect again. So yes, it is your fate for the next year and a half. Temper tantrums do not follow the rules of physics or sleep patterns.

And OH MY GOD switch doctors. You don't have any serious issues with this pregnancy, right? Then CHRIS could deliver that baby if he had to. Switch. Immediatly.

I love my midwife so much I'd consider having a fourth just so I could spend nine more months with her. (And dude, if you do switch, I highly recommend midwives. Highly.)

P.S. Ditch the OB trust your va-jay-jay (or c-section scars) to someone you feel comfortable with.

Elizabeth is doing that right now, too. Not every night, but...many nights. We've found that nothing helps except bringing her to our room right away and hoping she'll go to sleep. And that doesn't always work.

I don't think it would be crazy to switch doctors at this point. I found it was more important that I got along with the nurses at the hospital, and you can't choose that anyway. But I also don't think it would be crazy to stick with your current doctor to avoid the hassle of switching.

I would switch, I did at 28 weeks with my last pregnancy, although that was because we moved and I knew it was coming. I adored my new OB and wish I were seeing them for this pregnancy.
(new ob is weight-obsessed and it is stressing me out big time. I'm 29 weeks and have gained 23 lbs and they are giving me crap about it already.)

Anyway, it was not at all a problem to switch and since you'll start going every 2 weeks or so, you'll likely have a chance to meet everyone there.

Best of luck getting a full night's sleep tonight!

That sucks. Not saying this is what it was, but my 2 year old has been having night terrors for about 6 months now. It was VERY scary and frustrating until we figured it out. Now we know what to do and what not to do.

In the end, you're not going to be buddies with your OB or their office. You just want the smartest person with the best hands to be there when it's time to catch Baby 2.0.

#1, yes, my toddler has had more than a few middle of the night tantrums. He's just turned two a month or so ago and I'm hoping we've seen the end of them. Odd and upsetting and aggravating when you are pregnant. Which I was when he was having them. Hmmm. Maybe it has something to do with that. Everyone I know with more than one told me their first born starting doing odd things, behavior-wise when they hit about five or six months. That's definitely when Dylan started his maddening behaviors. Could be that they are starting to get the point that mommy is different now and things will never be the same.

#2, not sure about changing docs in the third trimester but I think you need to do what makes you feel comfortable. God knows you want to feel like those folks got your back when you hit D-day. Also, good God are you already 26 weeks?

Dude! Goldie just started doing the same damn thing. Since they are only days apart I will share with you what my pediatrician told me: It is a developmental thing. They are nightmares. At this age they start to remember their dreams more and can't distinguish reality from fiction so they FREAK OUT. It totally blows.

I wouldn't know what to advise you on #1. Tim hasn't done that (YET). I hope it's a one time thing! That must be tiring at this stage of pregnancy.

Switch doctors! You should totally be with a doctor you're comfortable with. I might switch hospital too. The one I'm with now is a 10 to 15 minute drive, but there is one closer (a 5 minute drive).

I hope you feel better!

I switch OBs at 26 weeks with my youngest - they screwed up one of my tests and I took it when everyone would test positive that particular birth defect and they were not gracious in announcing my child would have this defect. It totally put a weird spin on my entire pregnancy -bottom line he was healthy they just dorked up my dates and gave our family the scare of a lifetime.

Middle of the night tantrums usually we just soothe them back to sleep, we have given warm baths in extreme cases. Any post nasal drip maybe causing the ears to hurt???

No help on #1 - sorry. My kids were never much of ones for night terrors.

As for #2 - if your gut tells you things just aren't quite right, then switch. I ignored that feeling with my first OB-GYN and wound up having a horrible labor experience.

Definitely switch doctor, if the thought is even in your head at this point that means intuition is telling you to and you should always trust that. However you should only switch to a doctor that come highly recommended, at this point you don't really have the time to be visiting two or three different ones to find the right one.
As for the sleep thing, it sounds like the night terrors Molly gets, they are infrequent like she will have them every few nights for a week or two then we will go several weeks with out them. Kids commonly get them around the age of two. There isn't a whole lot you can do for them, you just have to ride it out and be there to sooth her when she finally wakes up or calms down and goes back to a restful sleep.

Have no advice on Situation #2. But we are definitely experiencing Situation #1. EVERY NIGHT and if it happens again tonight, it will be FOR A COMPLETE WEEK. Little R. I pray that it ends soon.

I changed at 24 weeks - and it was the best thing I could have done. I switched to the midwives that basically do all the same things as the OBs but I felt like the CARED more. They delivered at the same hospital as the OBs and there was always an OB on staff in the off chance that something were to escalate beyond the Midwife's limits.

This is one time where you should DEFINITELY put your foot down - if it doesn't feel right, then fix it.

Let me know if you'd like the name of my OB.

When I was pregnant with my second child and was at the appointment with the glucose test, the nurse took me and my husband back to the room for the doctor. Once there, she verbally b-slapped me for not being early for my appointments. See I was on time for my appointment, but apparently I was supposed to be early and be back in the examination room at my appointment time, not in the waiting room. I started bawling, I mean like a baby. Since I was pregnant and hadn't eaten anything by the sugar stuff for the test my emotions were out of my control. I cried through the whole exam that day. I cried until my husband took me out to lunch to get food in my system. I told the doctor what happened at the exam (since I couldn't stop crying it was pretty muffled). That nurse is now so nice to me when I go in, almost two years later, but I still want to slap her!

Random middle-of-the-night tantrums: normal developmental phase. Raisin went through that while I was pregnant with the twins. I'm not sure if it was related to the pregnancy or just to her age, but she would've been about Mia's age at that time. Either way, she seemed to just outgrow it more than anything else, although a drink of water helped calm her down mid-tantrum, FWIW. My sympathies -- it sucked.

OB-changing: no experience on which to base an opinion, but I suppose now's the time if you're going to jump ship.

CHANGE DOCTORS NOW!!! I realized about halfway thru my pregnancy that I disliked my OBs (there were two in the practice, one was slightly better than the other but not better enough to make me like her). I didn't switch to another practice because I was afraid that it would be difficult to establish a rapport with a new group of doctors so late in the game. I *so* wish I had, though. I was 2 weeks overdue, stressed out, and did not get the emotional support from them that I needed. I ended up at my last-choice hospital at their insistence (not because anything was wrong, simply because it was more convenient for them). My daughter was almost delivered by a student because my doctor couldn't be bthered to show up until the last bloody minute. And on and on and on....

Seriously, Beth... if you have any doubts about your doctors and their ability to make the rest of this experience go smoothly for you, CHANGE!! It will be worth the hassle.

Post a Comment

Remember personal info?

So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

World's Most Beautiful Child


World's Most Handsome Child


Other Important Things

Clive Owen

Clive Owen
Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend

RSS Syndicate this site (XML)

Design by Emily

© Copyright 2004
All Rights Reserved.