Y'all are so sweet about my belly, thank you. Yeah, I know I'm not freakishly huge for 26 weeks or anything, but I'm a lot bigger than I was with Mia at this point so I feel like the belly is just getting out of control way too soon. Of course, it doesn't help that when I observe to some people that I feel like I am roughly the size of a neutron star and that I can no longer tie my own shoes without nearly passing out because bending over that far causes the Monster Fetus to smash into my lungs thereby cutting off my air supply, well, at those times some people tend to just say "yeah, you are getting pretty big" which, while technically accurate, is not exactly what someone as increasingly rotund as myself is dying to hear. Why can't people just learn to lie? Lying is an underrated virtue, I tell you. I mean, an appropriate reply to that observation would be "No, my darling, not in the least. Why, if I didn't know for a fact I wouldn't be entirely sure that you even were pregnant. Additionally, it is only the fact that you are currently cradling your beloved and innocent daughter in your svelte and toned arms that is preventing me from coming over there and ravishing you right now." I mean really, would that be so hard?
On an unrelated note, if you are ever so foolish as to casually observe to your husband that, with a few stretches notable exception, your kid has been basically sleeping like a champ for six months now, you should be prepared to be up all night with a whining toddler. Make a note of it.