Dear Internet,
I am not spamming you, really I'm not. Well, ok, I suppose I sort of am in that I didn't have the thingamajig in my DNS that should have been there to prevent the spamming, so blame where blame is due, but I am not sending the spam, just sitting here cursing the spammers and hoping their testicles rot and fall off and land in their soup and they don't notice until they have already eaten one and a half of them.
So, you know, if you get an email from me promising to improve the size of your penis (why is 98% of the spam I receive about improving the size of my penis? Are men really that desperate? And stupid?), I assure you, it isn't really from me. Well, most of the time, anyway.
Love and tongue kisses,
Beth
P.S. Hey, I'm 33. I find being 33 somehow reassuring. I've always rather liked threes what with the swoopy bit up top and then another swoopy bit down below, or how you have the option to make the top bit a little angular thingy and then add a swoopy flourish down below and make it sort of like a mullet except instead of "business up front, party in the back" it's more like "acute angles up front, free-form curlicue in the back." And also, I've always been rather fond of repetition, like I enjoy words with repeating letters or sounds or syllables (my last name has three instances of this and may be one of the leading reasons that I married Chris) and I enjoy numbers with repeating... um... numbers, and so being 33 feeds nicely into that totally reasonable and healthy little compulsion of mine. It also looks strangely appealing when written out as thirty-three. Thirty-three. See? Nice. So anyway, welcome to 33. Or, you know, welcome to me being 33, so glad you could join us.
Comments (91)
Happy Birthday Beth! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Posted by Lisa | November 14, 2007 8:29 AM
Happy birthday! Hope it's a good one.
Posted by Jennifer | November 14, 2007 8:41 AM
At least you remember how old you are. I am 34, but I have hit that wall where age is not an issue. When people ask (like the nurse at the Dr. office yesterday) I have to subtract 1973 from the present year, which has become a lot more complicated with that whole 20 thing hanging out up front. I can do long division in my head with freakish ease, but subtraction can stump me.
Posted by Melissa | November 14, 2007 8:42 AM
Happy birthday, sweetie! I hope you have an awesome day!
Posted by Gwen | November 14, 2007 8:44 AM
Happy Birthday Beth!
Posted by kmum | November 14, 2007 8:47 AM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by Piecake | November 14, 2007 8:50 AM
Happy Birthday to you!
Now go eat some sweets to celebrate.
Posted by diane | November 14, 2007 8:55 AM
Happy B-day! Enjoy it.
Posted by Claire | November 14, 2007 8:56 AM
Happy birthday, Beth! I hope you have a wonderful day.
Posted by Maria | November 14, 2007 8:59 AM
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great one!!
Posted by Jamie | November 14, 2007 9:05 AM
¡ Feliz cumpleaños ! Que tengas un dia muy feliz y lo compartas con tu preciosa familia.
Translation ;-P : Happy birthday, Beth! I hope you have an awesome day and a lot of presents from your wonderful family. Kisses, hugs and a little of free time would be great.
¡ FELICIDADES !
Posted by Pilar | November 14, 2007 9:05 AM
You're right, it DOES look like a mullet! Happy Birthday!
Posted by Fraulein N | November 14, 2007 9:08 AM
Happy Birthday Beth!
Hope you have a great day:)
Posted by Mary | November 14, 2007 9:10 AM
I'm 34. It's certainly no 33, what with the 4 being all pointy and stabby and "What are you lookin' at, asswipe!??!" all the time. So enjoy 33. Happy birthday!
Posted by You can call me, 'Sir' | November 14, 2007 9:11 AM
Happy Birthday!
I'm 33 too!
I read your husbands birthday message on his blog, you both sound really happy, it's lovely to read!
Pol x
Posted by Pol | November 14, 2007 9:16 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Posted by Leah E. | November 14, 2007 9:25 AM
You mean you can't increase the size of my penis? Dang.
Happy b-day.
Posted by patois | November 14, 2007 9:33 AM
Happy Birthday, Beth! I'm a repeating number but 44 is not as swoopy as 33.
Posted by Kelley | November 14, 2007 9:33 AM
Happy Birthday!!! Make sure Chris, Mia, and the new baby treat you like the princess you are!
Posted by Krush | November 14, 2007 9:35 AM
I turned 33 in August and am rather enjoying it as well. Happy Birthday and may all spammers die a thousand deaths.
Posted by ckirby50 | November 14, 2007 9:42 AM
Happy Birthday!
[whisper] and I am happy with my current size, but thanks anyway. [/whisper]
Posted by OddMix | November 14, 2007 9:42 AM
Happy birthday!
Posted by Dawn | November 14, 2007 9:44 AM
Happy Birthday, enjoy the day.
Posted by Steff | November 14, 2007 9:46 AM
Oh to be 33 again.
But on second thought ...
Happy, happy birthday!!
Posted by ann adams | November 14, 2007 9:52 AM
Happy HAPPY birthday!
Posted by alfredsmom | November 14, 2007 9:59 AM
Happy Birthday Beth!
Posted by donna | November 14, 2007 10:00 AM
Happy birthday! I hope 33 is a fabulous year for you.
Posted by bad penguin | November 14, 2007 10:00 AM
Happy Birthday!!!! Yet another reason to enjoy lots of brownies, cake, and icecream. :-)
Posted by Joanne | November 14, 2007 10:11 AM
Happy birthday! I'd drop you off a cupcake if it weren't for yesterday's post. Now I'll have to eat one for you, I suppose. Hope you three have fun tonight celebrating!
Posted by Laura GF | November 14, 2007 10:12 AM
Happy Birthday! A fellow Scorp (I just celebrated 34 on Sunday!) I also like the repeating # thing so I was sad to see it go. Have a lovely day!
Posted by Christina | November 14, 2007 10:12 AM
Happy Birthday, you youngin! Have a great day.
Posted by Aurora | November 14, 2007 10:18 AM
happy Birthday
Posted by ktjrdn | November 14, 2007 10:19 AM
Aww you so rock!
Happiest of Birthday's to you!
Posted by Tc | November 14, 2007 10:23 AM
Happy birthday.
Freak.
Posted by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | November 14, 2007 10:26 AM
Happy birthday! Hope it's fabulous.
And don't feel bad about the spamming; if it's just e-mails that appear to be from you, it's the work of an e-mail harvesting bot and there's not much you could have done to prevent it.
If you're getting a lot of bounces from addresses that the spammer has mailed, just set up a filter in your mail program to put 'em directly into trash.
Posted by Cobwebs | November 14, 2007 10:26 AM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by FW Sunshine | November 14, 2007 10:33 AM
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Posted by She Likes Purple | November 14, 2007 10:35 AM
Happy thirty-three!
Posted by hannita | November 14, 2007 10:38 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Posted by Manda | November 14, 2007 10:49 AM
Happy Birthday Beth!!!
Posted by lil foots mommy | November 14, 2007 10:52 AM
Happy Birthday to a fellow Scorpio! My 31st was Friday!
Posted by Buckeye Mommy | November 14, 2007 10:53 AM
Happy Birthday!
May it be your best year yet!
Posted by MoMMY | November 14, 2007 11:01 AM
Happy B-day. We can celebrate when we go drinking in a year and a half.
Posted by jodi | November 14, 2007 11:08 AM
Happy Birthday, Mrs. Cactus-Fish Baccalla. (I made up that last name since I don't know yours). I hope you have a great one, and that your presents make up for the lack of alcohol on your birthday.
Posted by Brad | November 14, 2007 11:17 AM
Happy Birthday! I hope you have a GREAT day!
Posted by Colleen | November 14, 2007 11:19 AM
Happy Birthday!
Is 33 better than 32 because I turn 32 soon and I'm not at all happy about it.
And also, I *knew* your last name was Bacharach!
Posted by Jessica | November 14, 2007 11:33 AM
Okay, so it took me a minute to realize it's your birthday and you weren't rambling on about being 33. Not that you ramble, but you know. Anyways, Happy Birthday! Hope it's wonderful and Chris has something incredible planned for you tonight.
Posted by Dianna | November 14, 2007 11:33 AM
Happy Birthday! The only better number than 33 would be 77, and 33 seems like it would be the more fun of the two.
Posted by heels | November 14, 2007 11:36 AM
Happy birthday! I liked 33, so I stayed there for a few years. Now I'm 36, which is also rounded and a swoopy, and is both a square and a triangular number.
And I shall wish ass cancer on the spammers.
Posted by MamaKaren | November 14, 2007 11:39 AM
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a fabulous day!
Posted by dee | November 14, 2007 11:40 AM
Happy Birthday, Beth! And many, many more years of health, happiness and success!
Posted by Pammer | November 14, 2007 11:40 AM
Happy Birthday, Beth! I've been enjoying 33 so far, but only now realized it was because of the positive power of the swoopy double digits... Who knew? Thanks for filling me in! *grin*
Posted by Latte Mommy | November 14, 2007 11:41 AM
Ha. Happy Birthday!
Posted by Tomika | November 14, 2007 11:46 AM
Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy the day!
Posted by Laura | November 14, 2007 11:52 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BETH!!
Posted by Karen | November 14, 2007 11:53 AM
Happy birthday!!!!
Posted by Rachel | November 14, 2007 11:54 AM
Happy birthday! All the best people have birthdays this week ;-)
Posted by Katherine | November 14, 2007 12:03 PM
I remember 33 as being a great year for me. Hope yours is equally as wonderful.
Posted by wordgirl | November 14, 2007 12:08 PM
Happy birthday!
Posted by Carmen | November 14, 2007 1:03 PM
Happy birthday!!! I hope you have a wonderful, joy-filled day with no (or very few) tantrums. I'm glad to "know" you :)
Posted by Sparkle Pants | November 14, 2007 1:28 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I have a similar compulsion with 7's. I had a child on the 14th of the month (today actually - hey! You share a birthday with my daughter! You scorpios are a bright and shiny bunch I am learning) and one on the 28th of a month. I wanted my third to be born on the 7th or 21st SO BADLY. He came on the 14th (of a different month) which works but isn't as neat as I wanted it.
BTW, I cannot believe you described numbers so well. I totally should have been lost in that description but I really got it.
Posted by Em | November 14, 2007 1:45 PM
Now I am never going to be able to look at a "fancy" 3 and not think of a mullet!!
Posted by Eric's Mommy | November 14, 2007 2:00 PM
Happy Birthday! (To a turdy tree old...ha!...I may have a speech impediment) ;)
Posted by Nanette | November 14, 2007 2:06 PM
Happy Birthday lovely Beth. I hope 33 is the best one yet.
Posted by Isabel | November 14, 2007 2:22 PM
Happy Birthday, Beth!!
Posted by Shelly | November 14, 2007 2:24 PM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by Kelly | November 14, 2007 2:58 PM
Happy Birthday! Have a cookie, brownie and a doughnut to celebrate!
Posted by Elissa | November 14, 2007 3:00 PM
Haha I love your logic behind loving the numbers. You're silly, and it's just MARVELOUS! :-D
Happy birthday!
Posted by Heather | November 14, 2007 3:20 PM
Being from Boston, I used to tell people I was "LARRY BIRD".
HBD.
Annie
Posted by Annie | November 14, 2007 3:58 PM
Happy Birthday.
Posted by william | November 14, 2007 4:11 PM
Hope you had a great birthday! Enjoy being 33!
Posted by Colleen | November 14, 2007 5:45 PM
Thirty-three sounds like the BEST number! Happy Birthday, lovely Beth!
Posted by Sam | November 14, 2007 7:47 PM
Happy B-Day
Posted by marlen | November 14, 2007 8:01 PM
Happy B-Day
Posted by marlen | November 14, 2007 8:02 PM
Happy Birthday! Hope it is a great one!
Posted by Adi | November 14, 2007 8:03 PM
Happy Birthday! Hope it is a great one!
Posted by Adi | November 14, 2007 8:04 PM
Happy 33rd Birthday. An auspicious occasion if ever there was one. : )
Posted by Erica | November 14, 2007 8:13 PM
Happy Birthday! I'm still 32, and I do feel like something swoopy is missing.
Posted by anne nahm | November 14, 2007 9:19 PM
Okay, now just to be clear: can you help me enlarge my penis, or not?
*confused*
Posted by ben | November 14, 2007 9:29 PM
Oh, crap, I forgot to say happy birthday! And yes, 33 is a great number, pretty soon you'll catch up to me.
Posted by ben | November 14, 2007 9:31 PM
Happy Birthday, fellow Scorpio! (I'll be 31 on Friday.)
Posted by oakley | November 14, 2007 9:36 PM
I'm late, and realized that like a dumbass, I wished you a happy birthday on your husband's site, but not yours, even though I'd read both posts.
Happy birthday to one of my favorite friends inside the box.
Posted by jonniker | November 14, 2007 9:48 PM
Happy Birthday Beth!!
Posted by suze | November 14, 2007 10:10 PM
happy, happy birthday woman! I'll make some brownies in honor of you. My husband will be thrilled!!!
Posted by michele | November 14, 2007 10:19 PM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by denise | November 14, 2007 11:34 PM
Happy, happy birthday!
And many, many more!
Posted by Janet | November 15, 2007 12:55 AM
Happy Birthday!!!!
Posted by Amy | November 15, 2007 2:27 AM
Funny how you think all spammers are men. Or at least people with balls.
Happy Birthday!!!! Really, a day where you can give in to your pregnant sweet tooth! Just give into your cravings, it will all get better when you give birth to your parasite.
Posted by Nadine | November 15, 2007 10:52 AM
Happy Belated Birthday!
Posted by erika | November 15, 2007 2:08 PM
Happy 33! I still have to think about how old I am. You'd think the two 3's would make it easier to remember. alas, not so much.
Posted by sweethomealagirl | November 16, 2007 9:28 AM
I guess this means it is your birthday, huh? Happy Birthday! (late)
33... geez... I vaguely remember that age... ;)
Posted by sue | November 16, 2007 11:18 AM