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Black, like my heart

You know when you use a carpet steamer thing and the water all comes out jet black and you get all skeeved out about how that whatever it is was just in your carpets and try to convince yourself that there is some mechanism within the steamer itself that causes the water to be black to trick you into continuing to rent carpet steamers but you know in your heard of hearts that the black crap really was in the carpets where your precious child rolls around all day? Yeah, I just did that with mopping my floors, which I hadn't done once in the four months we've lived here. Hey, don't look at me like that! I mop the kitchen and the bathroom and the hall with some regularity (as long as you define "some" fairly loosely), but the rest of the floors are mostly covered by rugs, so I just tend to skip them. But today, oh today, I used almost all of naptime to move the furniture (small, light furniture only, chill out) and then bunch up the rugs and actually clean the floors. And it was such a disgusting experience that I will be sure to never do it again.

Also, did you know that taking your child to see Santa Claus makes you a bad mother? I never knew that, but have been rabidly so informed in the past 24 hours, so I thought I would pass this newfound knowledge on to all of you. Nevermind that Mia has been carrying a wallet-sized picture of her on Santa's lap everywhere she goes and showing it to anyone who will feign even the slightest interest and that she cannot possibly conceive of a topic of conversation that does not have to do with how she went to "Santa's house" and met Santa and is therefore the coolest toddler ever to walk the planet. Oh no, she's damaged for life because I selfishly insisted on a cruel and unusual photo op. Bad mommy, bad.

Comments (46)

I'm sorry people suck. And this is precisely why I rarely do housework that has the potential of grossing me out. Which limits my housework to fluffing pillows every now and then.

Beth, I cannot believe Grinches are giving you grief. YOU (and Chris) are Mia's parent, not them. Tell them to go pull off a skin tag - on themselves of course.

You rock!

Surely you know I was only kidding!

Some people just MUST turn everything innocent and fun into something it isn't. Geesh

Some people just need to keep their opinions to themselves. You know, "If you can't say something nice. . . . "

Mia is absolutely precious! You go girl!

I am with you on the floor cleaning thing. Our floors are always dirty, we have dogs too which makes it worse. My outlook is you can't polish a turd!

My kids are petrified of mall santas, so alas, I'll never get the photo opp. But I'd totally do it if it wouldn't make 'em cry.

ooh, is your troll back? is she going to come back over to my site? She is one dumb ho.

What about going to see Santa is bad? First: torturing your child is your right and privledge as a parent. Second: Holy hell that was a cute picture (seen at the Cactus place).
My kids hated going to see Santa when they were little, but they complain loudly about the one year I am missing a Santa picture for them. It's not my fault. I was in prison, or in a coma, or just being lazy. See, not. my. fault.

I kind of have to know who told you that.

I tried 5 different times to write something witty in response to the second paragraphy, but I just can't. I'm just too shocked. (As in - who does that? Tells someone they're a bad mom? That's just... augh. See? Can't be coherent.)

Instead I'll say - it sounds like Mia had a great time. Awesome.

Yah- you and the serial killers. Y'know, they save a special place in hell for mothers who FORCE their children to have special childhood moments like seeing Santa. EVIL!

Or, um, NOT.

You know what? When you give birth to someone, you have the right to have their picture taken with Santa. It does not scar children for life, for crissakes. It's not like you;re abusing your daughter. It. Is. Just. A. Picture. With. Santa. And no one's naked.

First you force your child to walk on soiled floors and then you foist upon her your belief in jolly fat men bearing gifts.

Do you know how hard the baby Jesus is crying right now? Because of you? Do you even care? You probably support terrorism, too. Stop being a terrorist, Beth. There's no future in it.

Dude...how is it bad? I must know.

And also, please come and mop my floors next. Please. I pay (in cookies).

You have to start posting some of those e-mails. It sounds like they could provide some good laughs.

I love that Santa - my kids have been to see him every year since that mall opened. One year my son was a little freaked, so he just sat next to Santa on the giant throne. Shhh...that's the real reason I'm saving up for therapy ;)

Mia and her pigtails are adorable!

can we say NESTING anyone?

this might explain my NEED to vacuum the inside of my fireplace....seriously, it's not a WANT, it's a NEED.

You know I noticed that some of the responses to yesterday's post over there were a bit, I don't know, psycho. You know that woman's kid is going to end up nuts. I would hate to see what happens when her daughter has to do something she does not want to, maybe in school or something? I have been evil for three years because Isabel has been each year, just for my pure joy, which I deserve for all that hard work I did birthing her! Really it is just Santa, that woman has to take it down a notch, JMO!

I don't usually read your comments because you have a tonne and I get jealous easily. Do people really tell you things like that ? Now I'm trying to remember if I told you that.... I hope not ! Even when I disagree with people's opinions and actions on their blogs, I rarely write to give them heck. The internet has plenty of space, people should rant on their own blogs !

Good for you for cleaning the floors ! I never admit the dirtiness that abounds in my house. It's a little shameful. Oh well, I have a fun life.

For real? Why do people suck so bad? Well, if you're a Bad Mommy then sign me up b/c I think you rock!

Oh, I completely agree about cleaning: If I know about the dirt, I have to do something about it--but if I don't know, it's not there.

I got behind and am reading in reverse-chronological order, and now I am nervous about encountering unpleasantness in the previous entry's comment section. But what could people possibly object to about a photo with Santa? WEIRD. Why would anyone else possibly care?

Oh I too get so skeeved out when I mop or steam the carpets! I just did my floors Sunday night and was horrified at how dirty the water was!! Yuck!!
Did someone really comment about how you brought Mia to see Santa? How on earth could that be bad? My guy is still to little to get the Santa thing but he went last year when he was 6 weeks old and he just went again this year! The picture is on my blog!

I had no idea that taking your child to see Santa made you a bad parent. I must be bad parent of the year, my kids have seen Santa about four times in the last week.

So as I was doing the laundry tonight (oh, laundry, bane of my existence....) and I noticed that all my daughter's teeny, tiny white socks were a disgusting gray on the bottom. And from reading your blog I just learned that the grayness might be caused by my dirty floors. And carpets. You mean I'm supposed to clean them? Huh. Eeeenteresting.

I really love how other parents just love to take the opportunity to try and feel superior by belittling other parents. NOT.

Tis the season to be a grump, I guess! I know I am! lol

I stayed far away from rugs during our remodel for this exact reason! Not that my pergo floors are sparkling clean or anything...oh dear.

I'm sorry for the sucky comments :(

Maybe we should form a bad mommies club and all get together and scar our children by forcing them into pictures they OBVIOUSLY don't want to be in, however happy they may "look" about it.

Mia, you are the coolest toddler on the planet... Not every toddler gets to meet Santa AND go to his house. The halfwit who told your mother otherwise is clearly of some subhuman specie.....

Bad, bad, internet crazies! Trust me...their kids will be damaged for all sorts of other reasons. (P.S. For the record...My twin who cried in every Santa picture, is a perfectly lovely, well-adjusted, 33-year-old.)

That's disgusting. I do think it is a conspiracy. Bad carpet cleaner inventor people.

But hey, I am so freaking glad to know I am not the only one who loosely defines regularity with respect to mopping floors. So freaking glad, I say!

Wow... then what would they say if they knew that I have pictures of Sweet Pea with Santa every year... and I'VE NEVER TAKEN HER!!! Bwaaaa haaaa haaaaa! He came to the daycare center and one actually came to school this year.

I kinda miss the daycare Santa, though. He had a red leather vest. Kinky-Santa.

We've lived in our house for over a year and I haven't moved the rugs to mop YET! Nor have I cleaned the bedroom carpets, which your post has just reminded me to do (it's a new house, so the fact that it's only OUR dirt has made me extra-lazy... plus, I heard somewhere that keeping your house germ-free is bad for kids' immune systems... and I'm just gonna keep running with that). :)

Bah, no matter what you do in parenting, someone will find fault with it - and boo on them, anyhow!

If taking your child to see Santa makes you a bad parent then i'm gonna be one of the worst parents ever and i'm already the worst Auntie!
Ignore em, Mia loved it and thats the point!

You are an evil, evil Mom :-)

I never clean, so I cannot relate to the horror you are discussing.

First:
FLOORS? Are you telling me I am supposed to be cleaning them? Well, I learn something new everyday =)

Second:
Photo-op with Santa is mean? My posting a different one each day, showing kids scared of Santa, is my way of giving these kids a reason to blame their parents when they need to see a shrink in the future *wink*

totally unrelated, but I finally found my way here, hoorah! (i changed emails and have finally got round to sorted out my old one)

and yeah, I promise not to tell your mum ;)

God, there must be an awful lot of terrible parents in the world to keep those Santas in the stores every year. Me included.
People truly amaze me.

Yeah, we're carpet cleaning this week for the first time in 18 months. I'm expecting to be grossed out.

But the result... wow. It's like the air is fresher afterwards.

It is awful that you insisted on the Santa picture. Next you are going to insist that Mia do things like, I don't know, open Christmas presents or pose for a picture with her new baby brother in a few months, or say hello to Grandma on the telephone. I work in the DC-metropolitan area, so I can contact the proper authorities and save your children from your wicked insistence on treating them like typical kids.

You know what just floors me? The same venom was unleashed on a mom on Amazon who said she wasn't going to introduce her child to Santa or the Santa tradition.

It used to be only crazy women who stopped you on the street and told you that how you were raising your child was wrong. I guess the internet makes it acceptable to butt in with your opinions and try to force them on others?

I say raise your kids the way you think is best. And the nasty hate mongers should just e-mail them selves instead of others.

well...I did the same thing to BOTH my kids, we are so bad! Child services should come and take them from us right away before we do anymore damage! geesshhh!!!!!!!!

Sheesh - everyone's a critic. I guess it makes me a bad aunt that I've been showing off a photo of my brother's 2-year-old son tearfully perched on Santa's lap. Meanwhile, my 5-year-old niece has never had her picture taken with Santa b/c each time my sister tried to take her she (my niece) had a meltdown. Whatever. All kids are different and different parents make different choices. You know your daughter best and what she can handle. It's not like you were out driving around with Mia on your lap. (Alert - outdated Britney reference!)

And hey - at least you have clean floors!

Visiting Santa (and taking 20 minutes for the bows) is a good mother thing to do. Anyone who criticizes the, just let me know.

And the picture is fantastic.

Dude, we don't do Santa so I've begun to despise the jolly red man and his ubiquitousness. I can't believe there is venom out there for those whose homes he actually "visits"!

You would have thought that when I told my family that we didn't do Christmas (we do solstice/yule instead--yay for neopagan college roots...) that I was selling my child into slavery, so don't feel bad. Apparently hatred runs every which way when you supposedly affront someone else's take on things. Sheesh.

Yeah, I think it's the relative anonymity of the net which makes people think they have the right to attack.

I hadn't read all the comments (busy day) but I can imagine.

Ridiculous.

I used my hifty little deep cleaner this weekend and I wanted to vomit when I saw what came out of those rugs. Like a lot vomit... like projectile. Ok, sorry about that, but it was gross and there was wet... hair (GACK!) and reconstituted .....urine ...

GAG!

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So the Fish Said...

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