Ok everybody, on the count of three, hit that little "refresh" button up at the top of your browser. Ready? 1, 2, 3! Did that fix it? If not, let me know, but I think I've gotten most of the bugs out. Also, dear Mac users, if one of you would like to loan me your machine for several days I will be happy to test/fix this design for a Mac, but until I get a volunteer, sorry but there's nothing I can do about it.
Now, aren't I pretty? I am, yes. Tell me I'm pretty, you know you want to. I think I will develop a firm policy to totally redesign my website every four years whether it needs it or not. And yes, a couple of you miss the purple and I do just a bit too, but it was well past time to do something else and I feel like I have a big girl blog now instead of whatever mishmash I had cobbled together with my own sorely lacking design skills and almost non-existent html and css knowledge.
Why do I look so pretty? It is all courtesy of Emily. See, we worked out this deal where I would install MT for her and she would do a new design for me, and she got by far the raw end of that deal but she did it anyway and she's amazing. I think the sum total of the guidance I gave her was "purple, not too girly, and for the love of god no big cartoon woman at the top." (Is that cartoon woman thing still a trend? It seems not to be so much and nothing against you personally if you have one but man, they were just every-damned-where for a while, weren't they?) Anyway, out of my totally unhelpful "dude, keep it sort of simple, maybe, and possibly also a nav bar?" comments, Emily made an absolutely gorgeous design. Which I then made her change to suit my whims, and she didn't mention even once that it really did look better her way, oh no, she just changed it and changed it to make me happy.
And then! Then she let me implement it myself, which would have driven me flat up the wall in her position because who knows what I'm going to screw up, and then she spent hours of yesterday helping me fix the things I screwed up, and she didn't even complain that I changed a couple of little things even though again, her stuff was certainly way better than mine.
There were a couple of things I was really afraid of when I agreed to have someone else design this site. First, I was scared I would hate it. Second, I was scared there would be all this drama like what do you mean to reorganized your sidebar, you stupid, design-impaired loser? It was perfect! But there was not a bit of that - Emily very graciously made any changes I asked for and didn't even mention the changes I made other than to help me make them look better.
And you know what the best part of this is? For you, I mean, obviously the best part for me is that I have this amazing new design. The best part for you is that Emily does this professionally, and if you asked nicely I'm sure she would agree to do a design for you for a very reasonable fee. And even if you don't want her to do a new design for you, I think you should head over there and tongue kiss her just for being so fabulous. You will have to get in line behind me though, and I plan to be taking up most of her tongue kissing time for at least the next few days.
Now, let's talk about my fat ass, shall we? Although actually, while I looked stupidly large for being 6 months pregnant back in October or so, I look pretty ok for being nine months pregnant, although the ass really is distressingly fat. And no, this fetus is showing no signs whatsoever of coming out any time soon, but my own OB told me herself yesterday that none of that means I won't go into labor any minute. (And please, pretty please, I mean thank you and all, but there is no need to tell me all the ways you know to send myself into labor because a) I don't think they do a damned thing if you aren't basically ready to go there yourself, and b) I have access to google and I know how to use it.) The truth is that I'm not in a screaming rush to get this kid out of me. Sure, I'm pretty uncomfortable, but other than a couple hours at the end of the day it isn't too bad and really the worst part has been two spots of eczema on my hands for which I am not allowed any good drugs and which drive me batshit insane a couple of times a week. (And again, thanks but no thanks on the natural remedies. See google, access to above.) I would like very much to go into labor sometime before 7:30 on February 11, which is when my c-section is scheduled, but it that means going into labor at 6:30 on February 11 that would be ok with me.
I did have a couple of hours very early Tuesday morning when I thought labor might be happening. Turns out it was more likely a case of too many brownies, but it was an interesting experience. My first thought on thinking this might be the onset of labor was "oh god, please no." Turns out I'm still a little more scared of the whole thing than I have been allowing myself to believe. It all just sounds so... unpleasant. And yes, I have chosen to try it the old-fashioned way even though I could have been busy having myself a c-section right about now, but the reasons for that decision have nothing to do with the "experience" of labor or childbirth. My c-section with Mia was great, my recovery was great, if it goes that way again then oh well, no biggie.
Wait, I seem to have forgotten my point. I suppose it is a) Beth is scared of labor, and b) if Chris shows up here sometime in the next not-quite two weeks and announces that Wally was delivered by c-section and mama and baby are doing great, there is no need to dedicate the slightest bit of concern or sympathy regarding the c-section bit because I just don't care that much.
(And I just have to throw this in, since I am vaguely on the subject. You know what really chaps my ass? When I was researching the whole VBAC vs. repeat c-section issue I found all these websites that listed the risks of both methods. The c-section list was always pages and pages long and listed all sorts of dire things like death from hospital-acquired infections and crushing post-partum depression and total inability to ever bond with your child and being miserable for the rest of your life, and the list of vaginal delivery risks said minor tearing and shoulder nerve damage to the fetus. And hey, you know what's a major risk of vaginal delivery? Fetal death. You know another one? Maternal death. In fact, for much of human history (and to this day in a lot of places on this planet) childbirth was a pretty common way for women to die. You know why it isn't much of a risk for us? Because before it gets that far, we have c-sections. Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.)